Strong.
Strong.
I dig my phone out of my pocket and send Lyric a text.
Me: I can’t take u to school this morning. Something came up. Sorry.
Lyric: Everything okay?
Me: I’ll talk to u at school, okay?
Lyric: Okay.
I know she’s probably worried now, but I don’t want to give the details of what happened via text.
I put the phone away then spend an hour waiting for the police to show up and another hour after that for them to dust for prints. The entire time, I’m trying to figure out what to do about the note. As risky as it is, I think I need to do what they requested and meet them. Am I terrified out of my goddamn mind? Yes. Will I hate myself if I don’t do it? Yes. The biggest problem is going to be convincing Lila to let me go.
After the police are finished dusting for prints and the letter is bagged, Detective Rannali sits down in the living room with Lila and me to ask me some questions—if I’ve seen anything suspicious, if I know why they sent me the letter.
When he’s finished, I have a few questions for him about Sadie and the case. Call it a last resort to the inevitable—that I’m going to have to meet those people at the dock.
“What about those pictures on the website?” I ask. “Have you looked into those? They seem like someone could find them if they went looking for them.”
“We’ve done some research into that, but all the places have yet to be tracked down.” He clicks his pen and presses it to a notepad he fishes from his suit jacket pocket. “And, Ayden, let me stress that you searching for those places is not an option. We believe that was what your brother was doing right before he was murdered. We’ve had some witnesses give us statements that he was on some sort of mission to find his sister.”
“How did he even know she was taken?” I wonder, taken aback.
He went looking for her? Risked everything to find her?
“I think the two of them somehow managed to remain in contact. We pulled your brother’s phone records, and Sadie sent him a text a few days before she was taken.”
Sadie and her bad feelings. She was always having them and was usually right. She had a bad feeling the day we were taken, warning him that she had a feeling something bad was about to happen.
Sadie.
Sadie.
Sadie.
I’m going to help.
Please, just hold on.
“We’re still investigating into it more.” He writes something down then glances at Lila. “I have to ask about the amnesia therapy. How have they been coming along? The last update we received was quite a while ago.”
“That’s because he stopped treatment,” Lila replies curtly, folding her arms. “We didn’t see the need for him to keep doing them when there wasn’t any progress.”
“As of now, that treatment might be the only thing that will help us identify the perpetrators.” He seems irked. “I wish you would have informed us that he’d stopped them.”
“What about what the note said?” I intervene. “Are we going to talk about that?”
His irritation lessens, as if he were waiting for me to bring it up. “I was planning on mentioning it, yes. I want to know how you feel about it.”
“He’s not going to meet those people anywhere,” Lila snaps. “I’m not going to let him.”
“I’m eighteen,” I mutter, knowing I’m going to upset her and loathing myself for having to do it.
In the end, this is about saving Sadie.
Lila narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t give a shit how old you are. You’re my son, and you’ll do what you’re told.”
“Living a life where I could be kidnapped is just as risky,” I point out. “I need to do this. Maybe, if I do, it’ll lead us to Sadie.”
Lila tears up. “I can’t let you risk your safety like that. If you go there . . . alone . . .” She shakes her head. “No, I won’t let you do it. I can’t lose you.”
“He wouldn’t be alone,” the detective chimes in. “We would have officers around the area. The Golden Center Docks couldn’t be a more perfect area for this. There are trees and plenty of other places to hide. Plus, it’s secluded from the city.”
Lila glares at him. “I’m not letting you use him as bait.”
“I’m not being used as bait,” I insist. “I need to go there for my own sake. Do you know how bad it would eat away at me . . . ? How bad it does eat away at me that I can’t save her? She’s there, and I’m here. She’s suffering, and I’m not.”
“Ayden, I . . .” She has no clue what to say to the truth of my words.
“Besides, if we do this, it could lead to some arrests and maybe put an end to this,” I press. “I—we—could all finally have a fucking normal life.”
It might be the biggest and longest speech I’ve ever made, and there’s definitely a shock factor to it.
Lila sniffs back tears. “I just want you to live the life you deserve without all this pain.”
“Then let me do this for myself. For my sister.” I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. “For my brother.”
When the room grows quiet, I open my eyes.
She’s staring out the window, her eyelashes fluttering against the tears. Detective Rannali catches my gaze and gives me an encouraging look. I don’t give a shit about him, though. I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing it for my sister and myself. And for my brother.
“I want assurance that no harm will come to him.” She looks over at the detective. “I won’t agree to this unless you can give me that.”
He nods. “Of course.” He tucks the pen and notepad into his pocket. “We’re not going to put your son at risk. We’ll do this safely, and if anything looks suspicious, then we’ll pull him out.”
Lila’s gaze lands on me. “You have to promise me the same thing. If at any time something seems wrong, you’ll leave.”
I nod, some of the tension alleviating in my chest, but it’s replaced by fear.
Am I really going to do this? See them again? The people who stole my life from me?
Her gaze elevates to the ceiling as she dabs her eyes. “I hope I don’t regret this,” she mutters. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”