“You’re so beautiful.” I gently place my hands on his chest and his skin is warm against my palms.
He shivers from my touch. “I want to feel you, too”—he takes a few shallow breaths—“against me.”
I want to ask him if he can handle that, but I don’t think he’d ask if he didn’t actually want to. And I want to too. So, so much, I can hardly stand it.
I step back and shut the door. Then I head back across the room toward him, lifting my shirt over my head.
His grey eyes soak me in as I fumble with the clasp of my bra. Once unfastened, I lower the straps from my shoulders and toss it on the floor. Then I turn to his iPod on the dresser, scroll to my playlist, and select “Youth” by Daughter.
“This seems like the kind of moment that needs a song,” I explain when he gives me a puzzled look.
As I climb up on his lap and put a leg on either side of him, he struggles to breathe evenly, and my heart slams against my chest. He’s nervous. I’m nervous. This isn’t a big deal just for him. I’ve never been this far with a guy before, and I’m glad Ayden is my first. Glad I get to experience a lot of my firsts with him.
He smooths his hands over my sides as I loop my arms around his neck and press my chest against his. The skin-to-skin contact is better than I could have ever imagined in my crazy, imaginative mind.
He’s warm enough to thaw a thousand icebergs,
Liquefy the world into water,
Melt the coldest of hearts,
Chip away at frigid souls.
He gasps as I clutch onto him. Then he slips his arms around me, presses me closer, and buries his head in the crook of my neck, kissing my hammering pulse.
A few tears land on my shoulder as he starts to cry.
“I love you,” I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.
He doesn’t say it back, but he embraces me with everything he has in him, and I know it’s his silent way of saying it back.
Chapter 15
Ayden
Saturday night might have been one of the most amazing nights I’ve ever had. Spending the night with Lyric in my arms, simply holding each other with our bodies connected, surpassed every good experience. She said I love you again, and I almost said it back.
The words burned on the tip of my tongue,
Scorching metal,
Ready to brand our souls
Forever.
I didn’t quite make it there, but I’m not too upset with myself. In fact, I’m probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time.
All that changes Monday morning when I open the car door to go to school. In the center of the driver’s seat is a piece of paper wrapped by a faded pink ribbon.
Knife
Hair
Sadie
Sacrifice.
It’s time we finally talked, Ayden. Meet us as the Golden Center Docks tonight at 10:00 pm if you ever want to see you sister again. And make sure to come alone.
“Sadie,” I whisper, my hand trembling as I tumble into a memory.
“Ayden, help me!” she cries through the darkness.
I can’t see her anywhere.
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?
I search the darkness and see a woman with blood red hair.
Red hair, like blood.
Then I see Sadie chained to a wall, her pink ribbon stained with drops of blood.
“We’re always watching you.”
I blink from the memory, my body quivering as I jerk my hand back. I can’t touch it, not when there might be fingerprints.
My gaze skims the neighborhood, searching for a face I can’t remember. Since it’s early May, the neighborhood is buzzing with the summer air, and people seem to be everywhere. Short, tall, thin, heavy, a guy with blonde hair, a woman with red hair, and it feels as if they’re all watching me.
Blood, blood, blood everywhere.
Red nails.
Red hair.
Blood, blood, blood.
I run up the driveway to the house, throw open the back door, and stumble into the kitchen.
“Ayden.” Lila’s head snaps up from her breakfast, and her eyes widen as she shoves the chair back from the table. “Oh, my God, what happened?”
“A letter,” I barely get the words out as I point at the back door. “There’s a letter on the seat of the car.”
Ethan is storming for the back door in less time than it takes me to suck in my next breath. “Stay here,” he warns as he rushes outside, slamming the door behind him.
Lila hurries over around the table to me as I sink down in a chair.
“The note . . .” I lower my head into my hands, guilt crushing my chest. “It had my sister’s hair ribbon on it . . . It had to be hers.”
Lila kneels down in front of me and folds her arms around me. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Five minutes ago, I would have agreed with her.
“No, it’s not,” I croak. “The note said that, if I want to see my sister again, I have to meet them at the Golden Center Docks tonight.”
“Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.” Lila hugs me tightly until Ethan comes back in.
She stands up, and the two of them exchange a hushed conversation in the doorway. After they’re done with their discussion, Ethan rushes upstairs while Lila ducks into the living room to make a phone call.
When she returns to the kitchen, she sits down in the chair beside me.
“Ethan’s going to get everyone off to school before the police show up,” she tells me. “Detective Rannali is going to come here and collect the note, search the area, and dust for prints. He wants you to be here to ask you some questions, though.”
I nod, balling my hands into fists underneath the table, wishing I could go back to Saturday night and have Lyric hold me again.
“I wish the detective would have still been watching the house. It’s like they were waiting for them to leave to make their next more.” When I say it aloud, I realize how true that might be.
“You should text Lyric and tell her she’ll need to find a ride,” Lila says, watching me like a hawk, as if she expects me to crack apart like I used to. “Ayden, everything’s going to be okay. We’re going to take care of this.”
I want to break apart, shatter into pieces, but I’m stronger than that. I can feel the strength where the fresh ink stains my flesh and in the lingering memories of Lyric’s lips against mine and the feel of our flesh touching.
Strong.