A minute or two of waiting and my hands are all over Violet again, unable to stop myself from touching her. Somewhere between touching her hips and sucking on her neck, she turns around and presses her lips to mine. I grab her ass and pull her against me as her fingers slide up my chest, loop around the back of my neck. She lets out a groan as I give her hair a gentle tug to tip her head back and then my tongue slips deeply into her mouth, moaning at the taste of her. With each touch, each brush of our tongues, each moan, the crappy thoughts I was trying to sort through earlier dissipates into nothing. Nothing else matters. All my focus is on her, the amazing taste of her, the incredible scent of her skin and feel of the heat of her body. And the little sound she makes as I spin us around and back us up against the building is enough for me to verge on losing it, right here on the side of the road.
But I manage to keep myself contained, pulling her closer, kissing her with everything I have in me. This is what I want. This is where I want to be.
‘Luke.’ She gasps between kisses, her legs moving restlessly around as if she can’t figure out what to do with them. Finally, she hitches one over my hip and grinds her hips against mine. I respond with the same movement, pressing up against her as I move my mouth away from hers to place kisses down her jawline, her neck, to the base of her throat where I lick a path toward her breasts.
‘Um, guys.’ I hear Greyson clear his throat from somewhere behind us, but I disregard him as my hand travels up Violet’s thigh to the bottom of her dress.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
‘Hello, as much as everyone’s enjoying the live porn show, it’s time to go!’ Seth hollers.
I’m not one to get embarrassed. Neither is Violet. Which is why it takes us a few more touches and kisses before we reluctantly break apart. I don’t move too far away from her, slipping my fingers through hers as we head toward the Camry parked near the curb.
‘Jesus,’ Greyson says after we’ve all gotten in the car. ‘I thought they were going to fuck right there on the street.’
Seth glances at me in the rearview mirror and gives me this knowing look. Seth has known me since my man-whore days and knows that I’ve never acted this way before with a woman, so uncontrolled. A little while ago, his insinuating looks would have pissed me off, but now I shrug them. This is the freest Violet and I have ever been. Usually there’s this distance between us, even when we’re close. But right now, that look in her eyes I’ve seen so many times – the look that means she’s using sex and kissing me as a distraction – is gone. Instead all I see is want.
Desire.
Need.
Lust.
It almost matches how I’m feeling, except for maybe one more thing on my part, something I don’t dare utter, not wanting to fuck up and scare the shit out of her again. So I keep my undying and eternally devoted thoughts to myself and go back to kissing Violet in the backseat, glad with the choices I made tonight.
Glad I chose her over everything else.
Chapter 21
Violet
He’s all over me, his hands touching every inch on my body, his lips struggling not to follow since we’re in the back of a car with Seth and Greyson in the front seat. But once we get into our room, all bets are off as the little lust we’ve been holding inside us combusts. He rips my dress off immediately, then yanks my boots and tears my tights off, so I’m lying in the bed with nothing but a lacy black bra and panties on. The lamp is on so I can see the look in his eyes as he stares down at me. It’s a look of pure lust, want, and something else. Something that makes me extremely uncomfortable and makes me want to run to the tallest building I can find.
Like I’m something he wants to keep.
Savor.
Love.
Keep safe.
For a second, I feel all those things, like he’s wrapped me in his emotions and they become part of me. It sends a jolt of undiluted terror through my body and makes my eyes dart to the door.
Run, Violet, run!
I quickly forget all about running though as he slips out of his jacket and shirt then covers my body with his. His warmth is like a blanket, the kind that makes me feel safe and protected and so much more. The warmth only grows as he kicks his jeans and boxers off and slips inside me. I don’t even know what’s happening, but every rock of his hips, brush of his hands, how he seems to be touching every inch of me at once, makes me feel like I’m shattering inside, in a way that I don’t quite understand. And when he looks at me, I swear I feel whole again, like he picked up all the pieces that just shattered and mended them together again.
I feel breathless.
I feel raw.
I feel like I’m falling and all I can do is hold onto him and never let go as he pushes me toward the edge of oblivion. And we continue to move with each other, grasping onto one another, breathless, afraid.
Afraid of letting go completely.
Afraid of what I feel.
But I can’t stop myself and I lose it as I feel myself veering toward the end of the fall. He kisses me through it, holds on tight while I break apart and in the middle of it all, I swear I hear him whisper, ‘I love you.’ But it’s so faint and I’m so far lost in my fall that I can’t be certain. Still, it overwhelms me that maybe he does care for me that much, that maybe he does love me. The idea that someone could causes tears to sting the corner of my eyes as I finally crash and shatter all over again. But I manage to suck them back before Luke notices, his breathing hot against my neck as he lies still inside me.
I hear him sigh, even though I don’t think I was meant to hear it, then he pushes back, sweeps my hair away from my damp forehead, and looks me directly in the eye.
‘Tonight was amazing,’ he says then gives me a soft but meaningful kiss.
I’m trying to stay calm, but I’m losing my shit. Something is going on inside me and I don’t know what it is. Or maybe I do and that’s what’s really scaring me.
‘Such a softy,’ I tease, but my voice sounds all wrong, all ragged and breathless.
He smiles, but there’s confusion in his eyes as he senses my off tone.
‘I had fun too,’ I quickly add then kiss him before he can asks questions. If he asks, then I might tell the truth and I’m not ready for the truth yet.
Still looking lost, he slips out of me, then rolls over to the pillow. ‘Jesus, it’s almost two o’clock,’ he mutters when he picks up his phone.