I’m not sure if I entirely disagree with that idea either. ‘Why?’
‘I don’t know … I guess I don’t trust adults very well. They can be nasty, disloyal people.’
‘Baby, we’re technically adults.’
‘I know that, but sometimes I forget that we are,’ she says, saddened. ‘Maybe it’ll work out though. Maybe they’ll be able to fix all the cracks and ugliness inside my head.’
I press my lips to her forehead. ‘This thing is anything but ugly.’
‘Yeah, yeah, we’ll see if that’s the case after they crack me apart and see what’s inside.’ She makes a mock scary voice than makes a ghostly sound.
My brow curves upward. ‘What’s up with the Halloween sounds?’
‘We made a promise to celebrate the shit out of holidays, remember.’ She glances over at the main building of the apartment complex, which is decked out with hay bales and a scarecrow. ‘I need a costume if we’re going to do this.’
‘I can help you find one,’ I offer, even though it’s probably the last thing I want to do. Stores. Crazy ass people rushing around to get last minute things.
She shakes her head and looks back at me. ‘It’s not really a you and I thing. I think I’ll ask Seth.’
‘Really?’ I can’t hide my shock.
She shrugs. ‘We’ve been getting along okay and I know he likes to shop.’
‘He’ll probably want to invite Callie,’ I tell her, not because I think it’s bad that Callie and her hang out. It’s just that the two of them have an iffy past. Plus, Violet tends to scare other girls with her I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude.
‘That’s okay.’ She nods her head, like she’s convincing herself that her words are true. ‘Everything’s going to work out. I can feel it.’
But right as she says it, a van with the security alarm logo on it pulls into the parking lot, reminding the both of us that everything can’t be okay until Preston is put away. Until he is, we’ll always be looking over our shoulders, sleeping less, listening for sounds in the night. It pisses me off, thinking about it, makes my blood curl, especially when Violet gives me that look, the one that lets me know she’s suddenly been reminded of everything and that it’s secretly terrifying her.
I need to find a way to take away that look.
But the only way that’s going to happen is when Preston is behind bars.
Chapter 19
Violet
It seems like the last few conversations between Luke and I feel more like therapy sessions. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but the less time I spend standing on top of roofs, jumping in raging waters, cutting my wrists, popping pills, getting drunk, the more time I talk. And it’s like I don’t have any control over my mouth anymore, words spilling out without any thought. So I’m a bit relieved to have some time away from Luke to shop for a costume, hoping I can clear my head and pull myself together before I spook him – or myself.
‘So Halloween’s the slutty holiday, right?’ I ask Seth as we stroll through the nearly empty racks of the closest Halloween store we could find. I pull a face at what’s left; clowns, a dinosaur, there’s even a sexy giraffe costume – not sure how the hell they consider it sexy but whatever.
Seth nods, searching through the racks with a disgusted look on his face. ‘Yeah, that would kind of be the point.’ He glances over at Callie, who’s looking at the cape section of the store. ‘Unless you’re Miss Callie over there. Then you go with the traditional but flawlessly beautiful kind of costume.’
Her cheeks flush as if what he’s said is extremely embarrassing. ‘I go with what I’m comfortable with.’
Seth nods as she moves over to a section that has masks. ‘I know you do,’ he says.
I wander to the next rack and sift through the limited selection. ‘I don’t want to be sexy or traditionally, flawlessly beautiful though.’
Seth glances around at the pathetically empty room that’s supposed to be a store. ‘Then what do you want to be? ‘
I give a nonchalant shrug. ‘Something edgy, gothic, different.’
His eyes scroll over my outfit I’m wearing now, black jeans and a matching shirt, dressed up with my studded boots. ‘So basically what you have now.’
‘I have an idea,’ Callie says in her quiet voice as she walks over to us. She looks me over from head to toe. ‘A really good one actually, for what you said, I mean.’
‘Really?’ I don’t mean to sound as doubtful as I do.
She nods then motions at us to follow her as she heads out of the sad store. ‘Yep, follow me.’
Callie was right. Her idea was a good one for me and I end up with the perfect costume, if you can even call it that. I definitely can’t wear it to dinner tonight, especially when Luke informed me of his father and Trevor’s plans to eat out at this fancy five-star restaurant. Yeah, I’m a burger and fries kind of girl, but tell myself to suck it up and go eat some fancy food. I leave my wavy hair down and put on this thin strapped black dress that has flowers on it, probably one of the most girly items I’ve ever worn. Then I top it off with my leather jacket, boots, red lipstick and kohl eyeliner because I still want to be myself. They make me check my jacket, though, and I get some looks as we’re seated at a table, but they’re snooty waiters and I’m sure overpaying costumers can go fuck themselves.
‘This place is insane,’ I whisper to Luke as the waiter drops the cloth napkin onto my lap – what the hell? The table has the cleanest white tablecloth I’ve ever seen, and the plates and silverware – don’t even get me started on those. They are so shiny it’s ridiculous.
Luke sweeps my hair to the side and leans in, lowering his voice. ‘I know, but I think they wanted to do something nice for us,’ he says while his father is telling the waiter something about wanting sparkling water – water should never sparkle. I open the menu while Luke places a kiss on my bare shoulder, momentarily shutting his eyes as if relishing my scent. ‘You look beautiful, though.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, then joke, ‘but my uncanny beauty isn’t going to help me understand this menu.’
Chuckling under his breath, Luke leans over my shoulder and glances at the menu even though he’s got one of his own. I don’t mind, though, the scent of him is absolutely amazing, like soap and cologne with just the barest hit of cigarette smoke.