Walking toward the balcony, she flipped the lock, slid back the door, and walked out onto the platform. It was really a very pretty view. So much to see and so little time, Devon thought.
She pulled out her phone from her pocket to check her email. She immediately deleted a newsletter from Wash U along with a series of spam emails. As her finger lingered over the next one, she bit her bottom lip, indecision creasing her forehead. She really wanted to read it, but she couldn’t do it.
Not having the courage to just delete the email, she moved it to a separate folder. Out of sight, out of mind.
Just as she was scrolling to the next email, her phone lit up. She stared down at the screen, letting it ring a few more times, before steeling herself and answering.
“Hey, Mama,” Devon said.
“Hey, Dixie!” her mom cheerfully called into the phone.
“Mom,” Devon complained, “it’s just Devon now.”
“You’ll always be my Dixie girl,” her mother drawled.
Devon was pretty sure she would never convince her mother otherwise. “I know, but can’t you just give it a try? You named me after all.”
“Why do you have to be so difficult? Dustin and Dani don’t seem to have your propensities.”
“You must have screwed me up real good,” Devon joked.
“Always have to blame me,” her mother said.
“It’s not like it’s Dad’s fault.”
“Oh, shush! You know I just miss you,” her mom said, tears spilling into her voice.
“Miss you, too, Mom,” Devon said softly.
“When are you coming home? Reid can’t steal you for the entire summer. Your father and I have a big event in July, and we’d really like you to come. I know you’ll want to bring him. It’s so close to your birthday, and we’d like to celebrate with you, honey.”
“I don’t know, Mom,” Devon answered uncertainly.
She had already told her mom that she was going to stay in St. Louis for the summer. This was already the second or third attempt to get her to come home. Devon hadn’t been able to tell her mom that she had left. Her mom wouldn’t understand her reasoning.
“Oh, come on, Dixie…Devon,” her mother quickly corrected. “I’m only asking for a bit of time. You’ve been away for so long, and I haven’t heard from you as much lately.”
“I know. I’ve just been so busy.”
“I know you are, honey, and I’m so proud of you. I just feel like we haven’t talked as much this year. Are you sure everything is okay?” her mother pleaded.
“Yeah, Mama. Everything is fine,” Devon lied, taking in a deep breath.
She didn’t want her mother to pry. She was hitting too close to home, and Devon couldn’t talk about it.
“Alright,” her mom said. “Well, think about July. We’re going to New York, and I know how much you love the big city. I’ll take you to see shows on Broadway, and we can go shopping, have cocktails at fancy parties—”
“That all sounds great, Mom,” Devon told her wistfully. “I just don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
“You can bring Reid with you if you want, dear,” her mother said, offering a plea bargain.
“Thanks, but I don’t think he’ll be interested. He’s taking the MCAT and applying to med school. You know how important that is to him.”
“I know, but…” she began, clearly biting her tongue.
“But what?” Devon couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“I think you spend too much time with that boy, that’s all,” her mom responded quietly.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.”
Her mom sighed. “Well, think about New York. I miss you, and I know it would mean a lot to your father to have you there.”
“Alright, I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises. I have to go though. Love you,” Devon said.
“Love you, too.”
Devon quickly ended the call. She buried her head in her hands and took a few steadying breaths, trying to remind herself over and over that she was doing the right thing. Lying to her mom was the hardest thing in the world to do, but she couldn’t be in St. Louis.
She wished that she could really talk to her mom. She wasn’t wrong when she had said that Devon had stopped talking to her. If only things were the way they had been when she was younger, when she had told her mother everything. But things had changed so much since then.
Stuffing her phone into the pocket of her pants, she left the balcony and walked back into the living room.
“Sorry about that. My mom called,” Devon told Hadley.
Hadley was stretched out across the couch, watching Millionaire Matchmaker on the mounted television. She had a proclivity for bad reality shows and Lifetime movies. Devon had never understood her obsession, but Hadley had often referred to it as her only flaw.
“Shhh! Patti is about to bitch out the girls. It’s the best part.” Hadley’s eyes were glued to the television.
Devon laughed and shook her head. At least some things hadn’t changed. Taking a seat next to her friend, Devon watched the woman on TV work her magic. She was pretty sure they had already seen this episode.
Devon easily fell back into the simplicity of living with Hadley. They had always been easy living mates. She couldn’t even remember if they had argued over anything more than whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher. Devon had taken a chance her freshman year and allowed Housing to choose her roommate. She had won the jackpot. Even though Hadley had been a sophomore, they had gotten along perfectly.
The year before, Hadley had had a terrible experience with a roommate that she knew from home. After that, she had decided to live in the dorms again and chance fate with a stranger. They had stayed in the same room the next year as well. It had helped that the dorm had been renovated the summer before to an apartment-style layout with small bedrooms, a communal living room, and a kitchen with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.
Last year, they had opted to move into an off-campus apartment. When they had made the decision, Devon hadn’t thought that Hadley would be graduating early. After Hadley had moved out, Devon had spent all her time with Reid. Even with him there though, the apartment had felt empty without Hadley.