Devon tried to get herself under control, but she was having considerable trouble. Her skin was cold and sticky, and her shirt was soaked through. She pulled in a shuddering breath, and her chest expanded appreciatively as oxygen filled her lungs. She slowly released the air. The movements became easier with time. As she brushed her fingertips under her eyes, she felt her eyelashes were wet.
God, can you cry in your sleep? she wondered.
“Seriously, Devon, you look like a ghost. Do you need me to get you something?” Hadley asked with concern written across her pretty face.
Devon ran a hand back through her matted blonde hair. Great, she would have to take another shower. “Yeah, I’m alright,” she whispered, her voice strained.
“You sure?” Hadley asked, her eyes wide. “I’m going to get you some water. Be right back.”
Hadley disappeared, and Devon was grateful. She was grateful for the silence and the light that streamed in through the window, signifying it was still daytime. Her bottom lip quivered as she scooted up against the headboard, letting the chills work their way out of her body.
She had been having nightmares all week, the most vivid ones she had ever had in her entire life. Every morning, she had woken up more exhausted than when she had went to bed, like she had been running a marathon instead of sleeping for eight hours. She felt beyond dehydrated, and her head constantly ached.
Devon had taken to napping during the day, so she could sleep less at night to avoid dreaming. Until today, the nightmares had never come for her while she was napping.
Hadley reappeared in the doorway with a glass of water. She carefully handed it to Devon, looking really freaked out. Devon felt bad about the whole situation. She took a few sips of the water, feeling the ice-cold liquid slide down her throat and coat her stomach.
“Sooo…are you okay?” Hadley asked, repeating her question.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Devon said reflexively.
“Bad dream?” Hadley asked, clearly not buying her statement.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember,” Devon lied. She couldn’t tell Hadley what she had been seeing day in and day out; that would only raise questions. Devon didn’t know what all the dreams were about, but she had a clue. And if she had a clue, Hadley could fathom a guess as well.
Hadley gave her a perplexed look. With a sigh, she nodded. “Alright. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I’ve just never seen you like this. You’ve never had nightmares before, did you?”
What could Devon say? Hadley had lived with her for two-and-a-half years, and Hadley knew her like no one else. Devon could only hold up pretenses for so long.
“No,” Devon finally answered. “I didn’t have them before. They’re new.”
“When did they start?” Hadley asked like an overindulgent parent.
“I don’t know,” Devon said, looking down. She knew perfectly well when they had started, but she wasn’t about to spill.
“Well, I hope they stop. It’s not healthy,” Hadley said, standing. She seemed resigned to let Devon off the hook.
“I hope they stop, too,” Devon agreed with a tentative smile.
“We’re leaving for the party soon. I was about to get dressed. See you in a bit.” Hadley walked out of the room, leaving Devon in peace.
Devon sighed, sitting back against the headboard. She closed her eyes, submitting to the darkness. How could this keep happening? When she had left, she thought the dreams would go away. She had hoped that maybe she made the right decision, so they would stop entirely. Instead, they had done the opposite.
Peeling her eyes open, she finished off the rest of the water Hadley had given her and walked into the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes, tossing them into a basket next to the toilet, and then she turned on the shower as hot as it would go. She ran a brush through her tangled hair until it was free of knots as the room thickened with steam. All she wanted to do was scald away the memories of someone’s eyes on her, the desperation of the chase, and the nauseating feel of the person’s grip on her arm.
She stepped into the water, hissing as it touched her skin. The water felt like needles piercing through her skin wherever it touched her. It hurt. She couldn’t deny that it hurt, but the pain felt like home. And so, instead of turning down the heat, she succumbed to it.
Her hair soaked through as she finally edged her body back into the blistering water. Closing her eyes, she let the water slowly rake over her face, rush down her front, and pool at her feet. At least in here, she only felt the pain from the water. A pain she could endure.
Devon turned, facing the stream of water. She pressed her forehead against the cool ceramic shower wall, and she let the water flow down her back as rivulets from her wet hair ran over her chest. She sighed and allowed her mind to forget.
Her hand trailed down her front to the heat between her legs. She tentatively brushed her fingers up against herself, testing to see how sensitive the heated water made her. Her body jerked lightly at the touch…even more sensitive than she would have thought. It was a welcome touch. Her body hadn’t had any release in a long time…too long.
Devon bit her lip as she slid her finger across the wet surface, spreading and delving in. Her mind raced as her finger came out slick and ready. Her body tightened fractionally as she moved across the soft area, one digit slipping in and out teasingly.
Her breathing slowed, and her core pulsed as she thought about someone gripping her in all the right ways. Her mind traveled to a distant place, far away from the life she was living.
He grabbed both of her arms and pushed her onto the bed, spreading her legs wide for his enjoyment. She smiled up at him, waiting for him to take her. She wanted him. God, she wanted him. Her body heated as he slid his pants to the ground and pushed his way inside.
Devon came in a sputter as the memories and her fingers pushed her over the edge. Her knees weakened, and she hunched over in the shower, panting.
Chapter Six - Signature Room at the 95th
SOME HOURS LATER, Devon was standing at the base of the John Hancock Center, one of the tallest buildings in the world, in downtown Chicago. Looking straight up the glass structure made her stomach flip-flop. The wind was particularly vicious in the Windy City, and Devon was pretty sure the building was visibly swaying.
“You want me to go up there?” Devon asked Hadley and Garrett incredulously.