“What is normal anyway?”
“For you? Let’s see.” She taps her finger against her pursed lips, contemplating my question. I practically squirm in my seat. I don’t want to hear this, especially from Kelli who’s been watching me for a while now. “One woman after the other, one for every night of the week. A little moody, a lot grumpy, always giving your friends shit when they decide to settle down.”
I don’t look at her. She’s right.
“I’m getting the sense that when it was the three of you against the world, you were happy. Comfortable. In your element.” Kelli pauses and I glance up to see that she’s watching me with what—sympathy in her eyes? Please. I get more tail now than I ever did when I had to split it with Gabe and Shep. “They’ve changed it up on you and you’re scrambling. The lone wolf among all the salivating women lined up wanting a piece of you.”
“Is that how you see it?”
“Kind of,” she admits. “Is that all you see when you look at Alex? Another piece of ass?”
No. And that’s the scary part. I would never admit that to Kelli. She wouldn’t understand. Or she’d run off and tell Alexandria. Fuck that. If I can’t work up the nerve to admit it, then no one else is doing it for me.
I immediately break out into a sweat. Do I actually like Alexandria? As in, do I want to spend time with her beyond the usual fucking around and being done with it?
Yes.
Nooo. I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it. My anti-relationship stance is still firmly in place. I’m just like Dad. My mom has said that more than once when I was growing up. He’s a decent guy, hard working to the point of obsessive. Sometimes a little callous. Has a hard time showing affection. When pushed he’ll joke around with enough bite beneath the words to make you feel like shit. I know if I were to become involved with a woman, I’ll most likely end up treating her just like Dad treated Mom. Driving them away, driving them to drink, pushing them into another man’s arms, pushing them into madness.
I can’t do it. I refuse to do it. Better to be alone than to make someone you might care about absolutely miserable.
“She’s a pretty fine piece of ass, don’t you think?” I say with a smirk as I stand, grabbing my empty coffee cup so I can throw it in the garbage on my way out. “Gotta go, K. Hope you do well on your test tomorrow.”
“Tristan, wait,” she calls after me but I ignore her. I toss the cup into the trash, offer the barista a flirtatious smile and a wave and then get the hell out of there.
My plan to earn my way into Alexandria’s good graces didn’t work out quite like I wanted to. Maybe I should move on.
Or maybe I should move on to plan B.
“Steven asked me out,” I say conversationally, waiting for the impending reaction.
It comes within seconds, as expected.
“Get out.” Kelli shoves my shoulder with the tips of her fingers and I make like I’m going to fall over. “Why are you wasting your time on that guy?”
I shrug, watching him in my living room, in his usual perch on the beanbag playing video games with Conrad. “He’s nice. I like how attentive he is.”
“Suffocating.” Kelli yawns.
“He’s funny.”
“If you like nerds.”
“Oh my God, are we still in high school?” I turn to glare at her. “He’s smart, he’s cute and he’s respectful. What more could I ask for?”
“I don’t know, maybe melting hot passion? Undeniable chemistry?” She peers at me, her narrowed eyes trying their best to see everything. I throw up that wall that I’ve become so good at, blocking her attempts. “Do you feel any of that with good ol’ Steven?”
I scowl. “You’re being mean.”
Her eyes pop wide, her expression one of complete innocence. We’re sitting at the small dining room table going over our stats homework on an otherwise boring Monday night. We got our grades back on our tests that we took a week ago—I got a C+. Kelli got a B-. Clearly she wasn’t as distracted by our study guide as I was.
I refuse to think of his name. It’s easier that way.
“How in the world am I being mean? I’m asking you a simple question, that’s it. Have you even kissed that guy?” She waves a hand in the general direction of the living room.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “He hasn’t made a move yet.”
“What’s he waiting for?”
I don’t know. I almost wish he would kiss me so I can wipe the memory of my last kiss from my brain once and for all. I told myself I wouldn’t become involved with Steven or Tristan and so far, Steven’s been the more persistent one, which is surprising. I haven’t heard from Tristan since I walked out of the Starbucks last Sunday. It’s been an entire week and I haven’t caught a glimpse of him, heard a single word uttered about him, nothing.
I tell myself I prefer it that way. The faster he’s out of my life completely the better.
“When are you two lovebirds going out?” Kelli asks.
“Friday night.” Dinner and a movie. So normal. Just the way I prefer it.
Kelli’s face falls. “But Jade’s having a party on Friday night.”
“What sort of party?”
“A special lady party.” She lifts her brow, a weird smile on her face. That’s the thing about Kelli. Her moods shift constantly. “Sexual aids and the like.”