“Well Bobby Pritchett is very lucky,” I begin. “For now, I will still be living at my house on the beach, okay? Maybe it will change later, but for now let’s just have lots of fun when we can, alright?”
Parker scrunches his nose in thought before nodding sleepily. “That’s okay I guess.”
“Shall we read a story?” I ask, hoping to cheer him up.
“Mm-kay,” he says. I get about three pages in before he’s fast asleep. I close the book and place it back on his bookshelf. Tiptoeing out of his room, I walk back into the kitchen where a freshly-showered Giselle is drinking a cup of coffee.
“I made you a cup,” she says as the blows into her own.
“Thanks,” I reply, sitting down on the stool next to her. “He’s going to get a good night’s sleep. He was exhausted.” I don’t mention the conversation with Parker to her. I don’t want her to feel pressured, and I feel like I handled his questions well enough.
“I’ll bet. Thanks for taking us out today. We both had a blast.”
“So did I. We should do it again soon,” I reply, then clear my throat. “You forgot to ask your question.”
She smiles shyly. “I didn’t forget. I’ve been thinking about what to ask.”
“And?”
“And, I think I’d like to know about your cousin, Keiran,” she says quietly. The temperature seems to drop a few degrees as that settles in the air.
I look down into my mug then place it on the table. “When I left Perth, I went to London to stay with him. He was good. I mean, he was loyal and caring, but he also had a bit of a wild side.”
“So what happened?” she asks, leaning her elbows on the table.
“I told you about how I started DJing at one of the local clubs there. Keiran was already dabbling in drugs when I moved in with him, but when we entered the club scene it got worse. I got better and better at mixing tracks and producing, working my way up, and started playing at some of the best clubs all over Europe.”
I pause, inhaling and exhaling deeply. “Drugs, women, money … At first it was just a few E pills. Then we were heavy on coke. We were barely sleeping for days at a time. The pills we were taking to come down just weren’t cutting it anymore, and then at one festival we were offered heroin. That was always my hard limit, but I was so out of my mind that night, I tried it. We agreed, just this once. It numbed my pain unlike anything I’d ever had … One time turned into … more than once …”
She puts her hand on my shoulder and gives it a little squeeze.
“He died of an overdose after one of my sets. He had left early with a woman, and when I walked back into our hotel room I found him dead. His pants were around his ankles and he was lying on the bathroom floor. It was … sad, really. That’s when I knew I had to get my shit together; that I couldn’t live like that anymore. I went to rehab for six months, and when I got out I came back here to take a break from everything.”
I swallow hard as I let her process this. I’m surprised when she puts her mug down and lays her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“You’re doing so well,” she praises me in a soft tone.
“I have two reasons not to screw up now,” I say against her hair.
“Two?” she asks.
“You and Parker,” I reply. “I don’t want to disappoint either one of you, or let you down. I want to be a father that he can be proud of. I will be a father that he can be proud of.”
“I know you will,” she replies, pulling away and wiping her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” I whisper, hating to see her upset. “I’m also going to make sure I can be everything you deserve.”
“You need to want it for yourself more than anything, Tane,” she says softly. “I think that’s the only way you’re going to beat this thing long-term.”
I think that over. “You’re right.”
She forces a trembling smile. “I just never thought this would happen to us, you know? To be apart for so long, and to have all these things happen to you … I just wish you were here with me that whole time instead, because I never would have given up on you.”
You don’t deserve her.
I push away the thought and wrap my arms around her tighter, her body pushed up against mine.
“We’re gonna be okay,” she says.
I nod, hoping that she’s right. I know I don’t deserve her, or Parker, not after everything that I did. What I do know is that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to the both of them.
And I intend to do just that.
*****
“I’m assuming Giselle told you about us then,” Levi says before sipping his drink whilst eyeing me over the rim of the glass.
How did he know? Every time I looked at him I wanted to punch him in the face for touching my woman. I’m guessing he could tell. Was I that obvious?
“She did,” I say in a careful tone. “I know it’s not fair for me to hold that against you, and don’t get me wrong, because I’m so f**king grateful you were there for her, but I’m also jealous.”
I put the truth out there; no bullshit. Complete honesty.
Levi nods. “I get that. You weren’t here; I was. I love Giselle, but she’s always loved you. Even when you didn’t deserve it, which was most of the time. Her and I are nothing but friends now, but I’m telling you, that will never change. We will always be in each other’s lives. I consider you a friend too, so I’m hoping we can all be okay.”