He collapses the foot rest of recliner. “You need water.” Hopping out of his chair, he opens the door and disappears down the hallway, returning with a glass of ice water. He sits on the edge of the bed, slowly as though he’s afraid of startling me. “Can you sit up?”
I nod, but pain stabs my temples when I try. I close my eyes.
“Let me help.” He sets the glass on the table and slides his arm under my upper back, gently pulling me into an upright position. “Let’s take this slow.”
When I’m sitting up, he doesn’t drop his arm, just leaves it there to make sure I don’t fall down again.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“My head’s pounding, but I can live with it.”
He picks up the water and hands it to me. “You need to drink this. But not too much. I have no idea if it’s like a hangover. For all I know, you might get sick.”
I nod and take a sip, waiting to see if my stomach’s going to stage a revolt. When it seems to react fine, I drink more.
After I finish, Ben takes the glass and sets it on the nightstand. “Do you remember what happened last night?”
I close my eyes. I want to go back to sleep and stay there forever. To take the humiliation of last night with me. I cringe. “God, I’m an idiot.”
“Hey.” Ben’s finger is under my chin, tipping my face up. I open my eyes and stare into his green ones. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Act embarrassed.”
“It is embarrassing.”
He cradles my side against his chest, his forehead against my temple. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I try to laugh, but it hurts my head. “I was stupid. Something very, very bad could have happened to me.” And when I let myself think about what could have happened, I feel nauseated. “Thank you,” I say and it seems so inadequate. Ben saved me from being raped, I’m positive of it. I’m not sure I could emotionally survive something like that again. I know Reed couldn’t.
“Right time, right place,” he finally says, his forehead still resting against my temple.
“How did I end up at your place? I’m assuming it’s your place.”
“You begged me not to call the police. You said you were worried about your brother finding out. I didn’t have any numbers to call since your phone’s password protected and I didn’t know what else to do, so I brought you home with me. I only live a block from the bar. I hope that’s okay.”
Reed. He’s probably freaked out. How am I going to explain being gone all night? Maybe he didn’t notice. Since Caroline started living with us, he’s stopped knocking on my door to make sure I’m still breathing. For all I know, he never even realized I was gone.
I sneak a glance at Ben. He could have called the police and been done with me, but he helped me even though he owes me nothing. “Why are you being so nice?” My voice is husky. “You don’t even know me.”
“Maybe I want to get to know you better.”
I want to get to know him better too. But there’s the problem. I’m incapable of having a relationship. Brandon taught me that. Apparently, meaningless sex is all I’m capable of, and only when I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. I sag against him, disappointment shooting through my body.
“Are you still tired? Do you want to go back to sleep?”
My traitorous mind imagines lying on the bed with Ben. His comforting arm around me. The thought is dangerous. “What time is it?”
“Uh…” He looks around for his phone, finds it in the recliner and leans over to grab it. “Seven-thirty.”
If Reed has figured out I’ve been gone all night, he’s probably flipped his lid. The longer I put this off, the harder it’s going to be. “I should go.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead his fingertips make slow back and forth movements under my shoulder blades. “Do you feel up to driving?”
“I do, but my car isn’t here. It’s in Tina’s parking lot.”
“Tina’s parking lot?”
“I met her at her apartment.”
“That reminds me.” His hand stops its movements and I already miss it. “I have some bad news.” His arm tightens around my back. “Tina wasn’t happy when she left last night. She said she wasn’t going to give you the name because you hadn’t met all the criteria.”
I close my eyes and suck in a breath. All that humiliation for absolutely nothing. Ben’s finger resumes its soothing motion and I resist the urge to sigh. No, it wasn’t for nothing. I’m here with Ben. And I can appreciate that at some level even if all I’ve done is inconvenience him.
“What name was she supposed to give you?”
“It’s not important now. I suspect she never had one to begin with. She was just playing some sick, perverted game with me.” But what if she did have a name? I blew it, yet I can’t imagine handling everything differently.
“I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything. There’s nothing to say. I toss the blanket off and slide to the edge of the bed. Staring down at my stockinged feet, I try to remember what shoes I wore.
But Ben’s already picking up my boots and handing them to me, looking like he’s worried he’s going to say the wrong thing.
I take them and stuff my feet inside, zipping them up. When I stand, I take it slow, trying not to wobble on the spiky, three-inch heels. Ben is standing next to me, holding his hand out as though he’s afraid I’ll fall.