I peered up at him with damp eyes. “Then why haven’t you…?”
“What?” he asked. I shook my head at first, but he pul ed me closer to him and his eyes begged me to confess my thoughts. “Tel me.”
“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?”
He seemed stunned, and then his eyes settled on my lips. I watched as his expression changed from desire, to conflicted, to a decision. I didn’t know what it al meant, so I closed my eyes and leaned into him, knowing his lips were just a few inches from mine. I felt his grip tighten and he held me at bay. My eyes popped open, humiliation crashing over me in waves. Adding to my already crippling embarrassment, tears once again spil ed over my cheeks.
His eyes closed tight and his face crumpled. “I don’t want to lie to you.”
The humiliation stil flamed my face, but it was now obscured by my anger. I’d grown weary of his vague non-answers. He would offer a tiny bit of truth shrouded in confusing ambiguity and my patience had reached its limit.
Seeing the resentment in my eyes, Jared let out a frustrated sigh. He released me and walked across the street to an impressive black motorcycle parked behind the bench. Without looking back he turned the key, and with a push of the button the engine roared to life. The motor snarled as he revved it a few times before speeding off the sidewalk and down the street.
The weekend came and went. Beth and I attended the basketbal game and Kim, Beth and I joined Ryan, Josh, Tucker, and Chad for air hockey and nachos. I refused to talk about Jared, even with Beth. I couldn’t even bring myself to explain what had happened that caused me to be so furious anytime they mentioned his name.
Ryan seemed to enjoy my change of heart. One night he cal ed to ask me for help with his chemistry, and we found ourselves sitting on the floor of my dorm room alone.
“No…it’s….” I pressed my lips together as I rewrote the last line.
“Chad said he failed this test last year,” Ryan grumbled.
“Wel , Chad didn’t have me for a tutor, now did he?” I threw my pencil at him and it bounced to the floor.
“Tutor or not, this test is gonna suck.”
“Have you lost your faith in me?”
“Have you reconsidered my offer, yet?” he grinned.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I shrugged, playing dumb.
“Yes, you do. It’s okay if you haven’t….you wil eventual y,” he smiled wide.
“I’m fairly certain I won’t be interested in dating for a long, long time.”
Ryan didn’t skip a beat. “I’l wait.”
Chapter Four
The Ring
The next weeks proved to be fairly mundane. I hadn’t seen Jared or Mr. Dawson, and Ryan’s propositions had tapered off. Beth had been noticeably absent from our room. I hadn’t even been sequestered for a bal game.
I didn’t leave campus for further theory-testing walks, and I tried not to venture off campus in general. My feelings were conflicted at any given second between being desperate to see Jared again and cringing at thoughts of any chance run-ins. I committed to pushing him from my mind, even if I had to do it a thousand times a day.
At study group, Ryan and I took our normal spots to work together on his latest academic crisis. Kim passed the time by shooting rubber bands at Josh while Beth and the new girl, Nicole, compared notes.
Josh caught one of Kim’s rubber missiles in mid-air and yawned. “So, when are we going out again?”
Kim shrugged. “I don’t know. When do you want to go?”
“I don’t think Nina’s up to it,” Beth hinted. The entire group stared at me with a mixture of pitiful and expectant expressions that I was desperate to deflect.
“Of course I’m up for it,” I said, aiming for a casual tone.
In truth, going out again with the same people to the same place made me anxious that we were just asking for a repeat, and I wasn’t ready to see Jared again. In the same moment, I worried that he wouldn’t show.
“Are you sure?” Beth asked, leaning forward in her chair.
“Why don’t we go tomorrow?” Josh asked Ryan.
“I’m there,” Ryan said, nudging me.
“On a Tuesday? How much fun can a Tuesday night be?” I groaned.
“As fun as we make it,” Ryan said.
On our way back to Andrews, I grumbled to Beth about going out on a school night. She didn’t seem fazed by the prospect, so I left it alone. When we lumbered into our room, my cel phone buzzed.
“Hi, Mom,” I yawned.
“You sound tired, Nina. Are you getting enough sleep?” she asked.
“I am. It’s just been a long day,” I said, peeling back my comforter.
“Wel , I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to tel you that Thomas cal ed me today. He wanted to apologize about not returning your cal . Did you cal him, dear?”
“Er…yes. I did.” I hadn’t anticipated Thomas cal ing my mother.
“Wel ? What did you cal him about?”
I decided that sticking as close to the truth as possible would be the best option. “Wel , I was in dad’s office a few weeks ago and came across some unsigned papers. I didn’t want to worry you with it, so I cal ed Mr. Rosen.”
“You were in Dad’s office? Why?”
“I guess I just miss him.”
“Oh,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”