I shake it off, trusting in Cillian. Trusting that he will handle Maeve in the best way possible. I never try to forget that she has problems I can't comprehend. It's not my place to judge her actions.
***
After the show, the band spends a lot of time doing a meet and greet with their fans and signing autographs. Cady, Teagan, and I are in the front bar area where we grabbed a big table, having another drink while we wait for them.
"They sounded great tonight," Cady says. "I've missed watching them."
"Did you ever go see them when they were on tour?" I ask.
"Yeah. Teagan and I caught a few shows. Remember that one in Tønsberg, Norway we went to last year?"
Teagan laughs. "Oh, yeah. Cillian and Maeve got so hammered after the show, they were like speaking another language or something. I swear it was Russian, which neither one of them speaks, but they kept saying some of the same words over and over so half the time it sounded realistic."
They both launch into memories of that trip but acid burns in my chest. Was that at the time when Maeve and Cillian were together? Is that how they spent their free time together? Getting drunk? Probably screwing like rabbits?
I can't help my jealous reaction. I know that was in the past, and I know Cillian is with me now. At least, I think he is. I mean, we haven't uttered formal words of commitment, but we spend all of our free time together, so this feels like a relationship.
But then a small measure of doubt creeps in. Really, how long will this last? Cillian will start traveling again; he'll probably be working long hours when they get back in the studio to record. Will there be room for me then? And really... can I be a part of that lifestyle? While I like to go out on occasion and tie one on, I'm really not a hard partier. I never have been. To me, a great night is sitting in front of a TV and watching an old movie or something.
I'm starting to feel a lameness that hadn't occurred to me before, and I'm suddenly wondering what do Cillian and I have in common? Other than great sex, nothing comes readily to mind and that bums me out in a major way.
Cady and Teagan don't seem to have noticed that I've dropped out of the conversation. They eventually start talking about Teagan's latest sex-capades and I try to follow along. I nurse at my wine but my stomach is turning with my morose thoughts.
Eventually, Cillian and the band make their way to us. When they get to our table, Cillian introduces me to Daniel and Maeve. I put on my best smile, saying hello. Cillian takes the seat next to me, and it causes my stomach to churn when Maeve takes the one next to him. It takes all of two seconds for Sean to order rounds of Tullemore for everyone to pound, but I decline and so does Cillian. I note that he doesn't seem to be too happy that Sean is openly pouring alcohol down everyone's throats with Maeve so recently out of her failed attempt at rehab.
Cillian sits next to me and keeps his arm around my back, his thumb grazing my shoulder every now and then. But he's in his element... with his band, and their laughter and jokes don't include me. Maeve seems to be on good behavior and I'm impressed she's dutifully drinking a bottle of water. The entire conversation consists of stories of their times together on tour, or parties they went to after, or crazy fan happenings. It's like another world to me.
Partly to take a break, and partly because I really have to pee, I stand from the table, excusing myself for the restroom. When I finish my business and come out from the stall, I'm surprised to see Maeve standing at the sink. Her hip is resting against it and she's casually picking at her nails when I open the door to step out.
I blink once at her and offer a smile. "Hey, Maeve."
She doesn't return it and the intense stare she gives me creeps me out a bit. I have a feeling that I've just entered judgment day.
"I don't like you," she starts without preamble. "You're not good for Cillian."
Shocked wouldn't even being to describe my feeling. I sort of expected her to be distant, maybe a bit rude given the circumstances of our first run in at Cillian's apartment. I never in a million years thought she would come right out with something so vile.
"I don't know what to say to that," I tell her quietly.
"You don't have to say anything. It wasn't meant to invite conversation. I'm surprised I'm even wasting my time with you, but you need to know that I'm not giving Cillian up. You might be on his radar right now, but when it's all said and done, you don't fit into his world. I do. And I always will. We have history together that you could never even hope to understand. And you certainly can’t compete with it."
Okay, now I'm getting pissed. It's one thing for me to have these doubts, but it's another for me to let her try to sabotage my relationship with Cillian. I won't roll over that easy.
Still, it's with a calm voice that I tell her, "Look, Maeve. I don't know what your major malfunction is, and I don't really care. Your issues are your own and don't have a damn thing to do with me. Let's just agree not to like each other and be done with it."
She surprises me with a laugh, when I half expected her to smack me. "Fair enough. But I play dirty, little girl. Oh, and if you're thinking to tell Cillian about this little exchange, I wouldn't if I were you. There's nothing he hates more than to see two women bickering over him. That will cause him to turn tail and run quickly."
She turns to leave the bathroom, but then pauses, glancing back at me. "But then again, go ahead and tell him. It'll pave the way a lot faster for me to move back in."