I know it’s probably going to piss off some Rangers fans, but there are plenty of Islanders and Devils fans that will get a kick out of this.
I smile to myself in glee. Luckily, the lifestyle editor is a bit of a rebel herself and she’ll relish a spicy piece to put in the paper.
I start to type...
RANGERS’ GOALIE SCORES...A LOT!
By: Ever Montgomery
Yes, goalies can score!
Line up, ladies. Apparently Linc Caldwell, the New York Rangers’ star goalie, can be yours for the low, low price of a few flirtatious words or a low cut dress. And this offer doesn’t seem to have an expiration date or a limitation to how much you can have.
You see, I had the pleasure of Mr. Caldwell’s company the other night to write a lifestyle piece on him. Instead, I was treated to a bit more than I really wanted to see.
Just a few minutes before meeting me, I watched as Mr. Caldwell kissed on a half-naked woman. Then just a mere half hour into our interview, he had the temerity to hit on me, which I politely shut down. Not to be deterred, he moved on to a third woman who claims they got pretty down and dirty with one another. I finally witnessed him finishing off the night with a fourth woman in a very compromising position.
Now, I know Mr. Caldwell is one of the NHL’s finest hockey players, and this opinion piece offers no assessment of his hockey abilities. I’ll leave that to our esteemed sports writers.
But for those of you who want to know the man behind the mask, don’t bother looking too hard. It’s quite a shallow pool you’d be gazing into.
When I asked Mr. Caldwell how he got so many dates, he proudly said all he had to do was flash his washboard abs and huge bank account, and the women just flock to him. I’m sorry, Mr. Caldwell...but some women do need more than muscles and money to make them happy.
I almost, at one point, felt sorry for Mr. Caldwell. I imagine his life of meaningless sex and one-night stands has got to leave a man feeling somewhat empty. But that sympathy was quickly diminished when he even admitted to pissing a woman off so bad, she threw a shoe at him, causing that renowned and much discussed scar on his chin. It seems the scoundrel doesn’t learn from his mistakes.
I wish I could report that there was more depth to this wayward soul, but sadly, I cannot. The most I can offer you is that he is a damn fine goalie for New York. If you’re looking for more than that, you might be a bit disappointed. I know I was.
I print the article and read through it to check for any errors. After a few minor tweaks, I know I have it perfect. I know this will do nothing to change Linc’s behavior, but if it embarrasses him even slightly, I’ll feel vindicated.
Attaching the article to an email, I pause before hitting the “Send” button to the lifestyle editor. For a brief moment, I again wonder if I’m overreacting. But no...I’m reporting the truth as I saw it. These are my opinions and I’m entitled to have them. I have my facts down straight.
And I get it. I know I’m lashing out. I was totally helpless when my father crushed me. I was unsuspecting and undeserving of what Marc did to me. I let both of those go without so much as batting an eye. And then Linc Caldwell so quickly lumps me into a category with those other women and that makes me beyond furious. Now, I finally feel like I’m able to make a bit of a stand for all of those hurts that have been pushed upon me.
6
I’m stepping off the elevator to my condo, having just finished my morning run. I freakin’ love Sundays. It’s the one day that I don’t feel compelled to really do anything. Today, I think I may just lounge on the couch and play Call of Duty on my Xbox.
As I juggle the keys to my door with the newspaper and coffee I’m holding, I glance up and see Nix standing there. He offers me an uneasy smile.
“Morning, Sunshine. Just finish your run?”
“Yeah. And not that I don’t enjoy seeing your handsome mug, but what are you doing here?”
Nix looks pointedly at the paper I’ve got tucked under my arm. “I assume you haven’t read the paper yet.”
I glance down at it. “I was just getting ready to enjoy a cup of java on the balcony with my paper. Anything good in it?”
He’s silent for a minute and I feel a slight foreboding. Then Nix says, “The article that Ever Montgomery did on you is in there. It’s not very nice.”
Not nice? Why wouldn’t it be nice? We had a really nice interview and got along quite nicely. It should be a nice article!
The tone of Nix’s voice sets me on edge.
I hand Nix my coffee and unlock my door. He follows me in and I throw my keys on the table. Nix takes a sip of my coffee and groans with pleasure. I just give him the evil eye as I open the paper, flipping through it until I find what I’m looking for. I recognize the small picture of Ever that is at the beginning of the article, and damned if her blue eyes don’t pop even in black and white newsprint.
Tearing my eyes away from the beauty of Ever, I read the title out loud, “RANGERS’ GOALIE SCORES...A LOT! What the f**k?”
“It gets worse, man.” I had forgotten Nix was standing there. I continue reading the article and after every line I finish, I can feel my blood pressure rising incrementally. When I get to the end, I stare dumbfounded at the words, not sure if this is some type of joke. I notice my hands are clenched and the paper is crumpled in my grip.
“Linc? Are you okay?”
“Did Emily know she was going to do this?” I know it sounds accusatory but I’m hurt by the fact that Emily introduced me to this she-devil.