I smooth my fingers into her hair and slide them to the back of her head. I need her so badly. I need to know none of this is scaring her away from me. Pulling her face toward mine, I tentatively touch my lips to hers. She sighs into me and lets herself go, entwining her tongue around mine. Relief courses through me as I realize I've not lost her.
***
We are lying in Danny's bed, naked, and thoroughly replete. I'm on my back and she's lying on top of me with her head on my chest. I'm stroking her hair and her back, both feeling like silk under my palm.
Our lovemaking was slow and tender. When we got to her apartment, Danny's first words were, "Touch me, please. Make me forget."
And I did.
"What are you thinking?" Danny asks me.
"I'm actually thinking of your music. Can you get back into Julliard?"
Danny is quiet but then she answers softly. "I believe so. My audition was really good. And I withdrew for hardship reasons so I shouldn't have a problem."
"I think you should go back."
Her body stiffens in my arms and the lazy circles she was drawing on my chest with her fingers still.
"I can't afford it right now."
I sit up and pull her up with me. Holding her by the shoulders, I say, "Then let me help you."
Danny's shaking her head back and forth.
"Why not?" I demand.
My tone is harsh and I've never spoken to her this way before. She's taken aback for only a few seconds before her eyes go green on me with anger.
"Because I'm not some whore who takes gifts in return for sex. I already have enough of your friends calling me that...I don’t need any more."
My mouth hangs open. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Paying you for sex?"
She doesn't say anything but won't meet my eyes. I gently take hold of her chin and make her meet my gaze. "Danny...I love you. I want to help you achieve your dreams. That's what people in love do for each other."
Danny deflates right in front of me and crawls onto my lap. "I know, and I'm sorry I'm such a bitch about this. It just seems weird to me. And I’m sensitive about how others view me. You’re mom things I’m a gold digging tramp, remember?"
I'm quiet for a minute as I'm stroking her hair. Then I venture, "Would you feel different if we were married?"
She snaps her head up so hard it catches me on my chin with a resounding crack.
"Ouch," she swears.
I start laughing and rub the top of her head although I feel like I've been hit in the chin with a metal pipe.
Snuggling back to my chest, she softly says, "Don't joke about things like that. It's not funny."
"Who says I'm joking?"
She leans back to look at me once again, more carefully this time so we don't bang heads. Her eyes are wide and incredulous. "Ryan, we've known each other for like two seconds. How can you even think about marriage?"
Taking Danny's hands in mind, I look her dead in the eyes. "I can think it because I know, Danny. You're my one and only. Just like I'm yours. You know it's true."
She smiles and then kisses me. She doesn't respond and moves her mouth down my throat. She's trying to distract me but I'm not going to let it go. I'll just have to keep working on her until she either accepts my offer to help her with school or she agrees to marry me and then all of my money will be hers as well.
For now, Danny pushes me back down onto the bed and straddles me. As she rises up, I get lost in the perfection that hovers above me. We'll discuss school and marriage later.
***
The next morning, I get up early and cook Danny breakfast while she sleeps. We have a big day because Malone's arraignment is today and she wants to be present. And there's no way I'm letting her go alone.
Then I have to go see Coach and fill him in on everything. Given the criminal charges against me, I'm fully prepared to lose my Captaincy. Hell, I may get tossed off the team. Again, I still can't have a single regret for what I did.
I'm flipping pancakes when Paula walks in. Her hair is sticking up all over the place and she's rubbing her eyes.
"G'mornin'," she mumbles. "Danny still sleeping?"
"Good morning, sunshine. How many pancakes do you want? And yes, Sleeping Beauty is still...well...sleeping."
Paula holds up two fingers to indicate her pancake preference and pours herself a cup of coffee.
"How's she doing?" she asks me quietly.
"She's okay. Her face is a little sore but she's otherwise doing fine."
I finish Paula's pancakes for her and hand her the plate. I turn the stove off.
"Can I ask you something?"
Paula looks at me while stuffing a fork full into her mouth then nods.
"I offered to help Danny go back to Julliard, but she won't let me. So I offered her marriage, and she looked at me like I was crazy. What in the hell am I doing wrong?"
Paula looked at me like I was the biggest dumbass on the face of the earth. She swallowed her food and took a sip of coffee. "Seriously, Ryan. You're such a dumbass."
See, what'd I tell you?
"What is so wrong with me wanting to help her fulfill her dreams?" I sound petulant but I can't help it. I don't see how I can be wrong about this.
"Listen up and listen hard. I'm going to give you the best advice you've ever had." She pauses for dramatic effect, and then says, "Wait."