Ryan shakes his head while looking down at the floor. Then he drags his eyes back up to me. "At first, I was furious someone would say that about you. My best friend, Mike...he said it shouldn't matter. It only matters what I think about you."
"Sounds like Mike is pretty smart," I muse.
Ryan leans back in the chair, laying the palms of his hands on his thighs. He starts picking at, what I assume is imaginary lint, just to keep his hands busy. "Yeah, he is. But, the fact of the matter remains, that if we date, there are going to be people in my circle that will think that. Some might even say that...right to your face. And...I just didn't want you to have to go through that."
"So you decide on your own that a relationship is not a good idea...to what...protect me?" I’m pissed I didn’t get a say-so in this and I’m sure he can tell by the tone of my voice.
Ryan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks like he had a major headache brewing. "Here is where I need to be absolutely honest with you, Danny. Yes, at first my thoughts were solely about protecting you. I didn't want you to get hurt. But then I started realizing that I would get hurt too. Every time you would get hurt, I would hurt as well. And I then questioned whether I was able to make that type of commitment to someone. I'm ashamed to say...I was protecting myself, too. I didn't think I was ready for this."
His words hurt but I also have to admire and respect his brutal honesty. He could have sugar coated this breakup to me but he candidly tells me that he’s afraid for himself as well. "I get it and I appreciate the truth. I know you could have given me a dozen lines to help ease your conscience over this."
"I'm glad you understand," Ryan says as he stands up from his chair.
So this is it, the final goodbye.
Except...he doesn’t head toward the door. He walks right over to me and sits beside me on the couch. As I turn to face him, he reaches out and strokes his fingertips over my cheek. I shiver as the rough feel of them gently caresses me.
"I'm glad you understand that because I expect you to understand this as well. It only took me another two days to realize that I would rather suffer the pain of what others might think than be away from you. It took me two more days to get up the nerve to come here to see you. The only thing I can ask of you is can you endure that with me so we can try again."
I close my eyes as his thumb gently plays along my jaw. I let his words settle into me and I enjoy the warmth they promote...for just a minute. But then I push past it. It’s probably a really bad idea to even entertain the notion of a relationship with Ryan.
So far, he has proven to be skittish and apparently runs in a circle of ass**les. Do I want to even be involved in this?
I open my eyes and look at him. Before I can even say anything, he leans in and brushes his lips over mine. He moves his mouth to my temple and presses a light kiss there. Then he whispers, "Please. Take a chance."
I pull slightly away from him. I'm wary but I cannot deny that I feel an intense connection to Ryan. It is more than just physical attraction. I sense something in him that resonates with me although I cannot put my finger on it. Am I willing to explore that further to see if it can be identified?
"Okay," I breathe out.
"Okay?" Ryan sounds bewildered.
I nod my head and before I know it, he wraps me in a suffocating hug. Ryan presses his head into my neck and murmurs a "thank you" against my skin which causes my pulse to go through the roof.
Pulling back he looks at me. Cupping both of my cheeks with his hands, he just stares at me with such ferocity that it makes me want to devour him. I lean in to kiss him but he stops me. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Danny. I won't do it again."
I give him a smile before I lean in to claim that kiss. "Okay. I'll hold you to that."
CHAPTER 7
Ryan
I must be the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet right now. Danny is willing to give us another chance and I feel like I just won the Stanley Cup.
We are sitting on her couch having just finished an awesome breakfast that Paula cooked while Danny took a quick shower. She never did go on her run and I'm glad. I didn't want to miss a minute with her today.
Turns out, Paula's not so bad. She can be scary—terrifying actually—but it's in a protective way for Danny and I'm all for that. Turns out, she had been standing in the hallway the entire time we talked, so she overheard everything. She made a big entrance as we were kissing to let me know that she forgave me too.
How comforting.
At least I can be fairly sure she didn't poison my pancakes.
Paula has left to go to work and we now have the apartment to ourselves. Danny has a rare day off from all of her obligations and we decide to just stay here today and chill out. We have a few days of lost time to make up for and I want to know everything about her.
Danny is sitting on one end of the couch with her back against the armrest and her legs curled underneath her. She's wearing a pair of old, faded jeans that hug her curves just right and sports a hole in one knee. Her t-shirt also hugs her amazing upper body curves and I can't help periodically glancing at the words “Kiss Me – I’m Irish" stenciled across the front of her br**sts. She's barefoot and her toes are painted a deep purple color which I find to be incredible sexy.
I'm at the other end of the couch and my legs are extended with my feet resting on either side of her hips. "Okay, first things first...what is Danny short for?"