We stared at each other for a few tense seconds, and my breathing grew heavier as I tried to tell myself that I needed to back away, but what I wanted was much louder than what I needed at that moment.
I wasn’t sure who moved first, but our mouths crashed together in a hungry kiss that was so much like our first one a year ago. My hands slid from his shoulders to his neck, and the tips of my fingers played in his hair as I moved so I was up on my knees and straddling him. His arms tightened once against my waist before dropping lower and pulling my hips toward him as he let me take control of the kiss for a moment. But like last year, it was only seconds before he was the one demanding and controlling—and not one part of me had the will to fight him on it.
I wish I could say I was having a lapse of judgment because of the beer, but I hadn’t even finished my first one. Liam had kicked down my walls. He’d had me laughing more than I had laughed in years, and as always, he’d had me forgetting why I couldn’t be with him. And with the scent of the fire mixed with the salty ocean breeze, and with my body pressed up against his, I was positive I’d been silently begging for his kiss, and was now begging for it not to end.
But it had to end. It wasn’t until he whispered my name that I was able to remember why.
“Liam,” I breathed against his mouth, and moved my hands down to plant them on his chest. Countless seconds passed as we both sat there breathing heavily, and I forced myself not to give in again. “Liam, I think it’s time I went home.”
His body hardened beneath my hands, and I knew he knew what I was saying and doing. I was stopping this before it could continue. I was pushing him back. And I was throwing up my walls again.
No words passed between us as we got ready and left, and there was only a silent good-bye as we stared at each other when he pulled up in front of my building. I fought with myself over the apology that was on the tip of my tongue, but kept it in as I opened the door and stepped out of his car. If I had voiced it, I knew my already shaky walls would quickly fall again, and I didn’t think I would have the strength to get them back up.
June 12
Liam
“READY TO SPAR, old man?” I asked the next night as I walked up behind my dad and punched his shoulder.
He turned around from where he was helping a member perfect his technique, and raised an eyebrow to match the smirk on his face. “We’ll see if you’re still calling me that when I’m done with you. Go do something to warm up while I finish here.”
I nodded and tore off my shirt as I crossed the gym. After last night, this was what I needed. I needed time to clear my head, and I needed to focus on not getting my ass handed to me by my dad instead of replaying my night with Kennedy over and over.
My eyes automatically drifted over to the drink station, but I already knew I wouldn’t find the girls there. I’d waited until they’d been off work for a couple hours to show up to fight tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow like I normally did. Because ever since I’d gotten off work, it’d taken all my focus to keep myself from going to their condo to try to talk to Moon. I knew I would eventually give up and show up at her door if I didn’t do something to get my mind off her soon, and the gym would do exactly that.
“You ready?” Dad asked fifteen minutes later as he pulled off his shirt and climbed into the ring.
I glanced over at him and gave him a calculating stare. “I’m not going easy on you just because you might break a hip.”
He laughed. It didn’t matter that he was in his forties, just like it didn’t matter that he’d stopped fighting for a living over twenty years ago. He was still unbeatable, and he and I both knew he could easily take me down with just a few hits.
“You want to tell me what has you in such a bad mood?” he asked when we began.
“Kennedy.” Okay, maybe the gym wouldn’t get my mind off her. I took a few swings and dodged one of his, and grunted when he landed a kick to my ribs.
He blocked one of my hits. “And what about her has you showing up a day early?” After a few more swings, he took a few steps back and sent me a condescending smile. “It can’t be because she turned you down, because she’s been doing that for more than a week now, son.”
I glared and closed the distance before I threw another hit. “Yes and no. We kissed.”
He stumbled back when I kicked his calf, and bent over laughing. “You’re here to fight, looking pissed off at the world, just because you two kissed?”
I straightened and threw my arms out to the side. “She fucking shut down again after. The entire night she was completely different from how she’s been since I first talked to her here. It was good; everything about last night was good. And then a couple minutes in, it’s like she remembered that she’d been pushing me back before, and did it again. She didn’t say a word the entire ride back to her place.”
One eyebrow rose, and for a second, he actually looked sorry . . . until he spoke. “Maybe she was thinking about giving you another chance, but once she kissed you sober, she realized that last year was a fluke and decided to bolt.”
“Are you serious right now? That’s really what you’re going to go with? That’s your great fatherly advice? To try to tell me that my kissing is what had her shutting down again last night?”
“Looks like it’s a possibility.” He sucked air through his teeth and shook his head, but his mouth started twitching up into a smile, and soon his shoulders were shaking from the laugh he was trying so hard to hold in. When my face fell, he barked out a laugh and kicked out my legs from underneath me. Leaning over me once I was lying on my back, he grinned knowingly. “You want my honest opinion? I think she has a very real reason for trying to hold you back, one she’s not ready for you to know—if she’ll ever be ready for you to know. But from what I’ve seen, she’s a lot like your mom. She’s feisty. My bet is you just have to figure out the right buttons to push for her to completely open up to you. If I’m right, she’ll be trouble . . . but she’ll sure as shit be worth it.”