I start crying as I walk away. I look back and see Ashley and Kade arguing. Kade loses it and punches a wall. I have to do this, I have to get over Kade once and for all.
Chapter Forty Five
KADE
I overheard everything Ashley said. Fuck. Nikki and James were right. I don’t even know this person Ashley has become. I walk over to Nikki, my eyes pleading with hers.
“Please, Nikki, come home with me. Let’s talk, work everything out,” I beg.
“No, Kade, I’m glad you finally know I was telling the truth, but you didn’t trust me, or believe me. You always chose her. I can’t be with you, I’m sorry. I wish you happiness, Kade. I love you, and I always will, but it’s just not enough anymore,” she tells me, and I swallow hard. This can’t be it. I need her. I love her. I watch as she walks away. Even when Damon died I never cried. I just lost the best thing to ever happen to me.
Fuck.
I walk back over to Ashley.
“I can’t believe this shit, Ashley! You must f**king hate me to do this to me. To make me lose her, f**k! I love her, Ashley! I f**king love her, I wanted to marry her, have children with her. I never thought you could be like this,” I hiss at her.
“No, Kade, she doesn’t love you. I love you! You'll always have me,” she says, almost begging.
I lose it. I punch the wall, my hand hurting like hell, but I could care less. I welcome the pain.
“Swear to god, Ashley, if I ever see you again, you will regret it.”
And with that I turn and walk away.
ASHLEY
The first time I met Kade was when I was just a little girl. He was best friends with my big brother Damon, and was always a part of my life. I used to try and tag along with them, but they would never let me. Still, they were always nice to me, making sure I was okay and no one was being mean to me in school. If I ever needed anything, both Damon and Kade would always have my back.
Come high school, I was a freshman, and Kade was a senior. He was the hottest guy in school. All the girls would talk about Kade and both of his brothers. The girls wanted to sleep with them and the boys wanted to be them. About half of those girls got their chance.
Kade was my brother’s friend, never anything more than that. Occasionally we’d all hang out. Any guy I went on dates with, Kade and Damon would threaten them, warn them that they better treat me right. As I got older, they would sometimes let me tag along with them, and although I think it was a drag for Damon, he never complained.
I couldn’t help but fall for Kade. He helped protect me from my mother. Every time she would beat me, he would let me stay with him for a bit. His family treated me like one of their own. Kade and I got closer once my brother enlisted and I thought that one day he would realize we were meant to be together. He made me feel safe and protected. After waiting and waiting, I was still stuck in the friend zone. He always f**ked around with anything that had a vagina, except me. As the years passed, I started getting angry.
Bitter.
No matter how much I tried to get his attention, he just couldn’t see me. My self-esteem started taking a hit every time I would see him with some other girl, making me wonder what exactly was wrong with me. When Damon died, Kade and I got closer. He was always there for me, always. I grew to love him so much, and I hoped that one day I would be the only girl on his radar. That didn’t happen. After my mother died I went and did something drastic. I got new boobs, mine were a lousy A cup. Now I’m a nice full C cup. Add some liposuction as well as an extensive workout routine, and I felt like a whole new woman. I thought that maybe, with my new look, Kade would finally notice me.
He didn’t.
He didn’t look at me any different.
I don’t know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep over Kade. Once Layla came into the picture, my claws came out. Kade would talk so highly about her that I got jealous. It was always Layla this, or Layla that. He loved her like a sister, I could tell. It wasn’t just me anymore. I had been with both James and Chase, hoping to make Kade jealous, but it didn’t work. There was one night I tried to talk to him about us, but he brushed it off, saying he was so happy to have me in his life.
I was his best friend.
The real problems began when I heard about Nikki. The other women meant nothing to Kade. I knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it. Nikki was different. Suddenly Kade was actually considering getting a steady girlfriend and settling down. I turned into a different person then. Nikki was my breaking point. My hopes and dreams with Kade - Nikki was ruining them. I began to act like a total bitch. Catty, bitter, and jealous. Damon would be ashamed of the kind of person I became because he had raised me better.
I had loved Kade for so long, with all that I was, it just hurt so badly. I have never lied to Kade before, he knew me as an honest person. So whenever he would ask me about Nikki, I would say that it wasn’t true, that it was her lying because she was jealous of our friendship. That she wanted to be the only girl in his life, and she wanted me out. I tried so hard to break them up, but somehow they kept getting back together.
The night we were in bed together, I really was upset. It was the anniversary of Damon’s death, and I was sobbing my heart out. I always take this time of year hard, my brother was everything to me. I know that Kade does too, it wasn’t only me that needed comfort that night. When Nikki walked in and saw us, I couldn’t help but think how wonderful that worked out.
Now that Kade finally knows the truth about everything, I’m scared. I just lost not only the love of my life, but my best friend. Maybe one day we can fix our friendship. Nikki is actually perfect for Kade, I just didn’t want to see it. I want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me.