Cole looked back at their table. Liam, Marissa and Kelly were all gawking at them. Shit. “Come here.” He took Savannah’s hand and pulled her further down the back hallway that led to the restrooms. It wasn’t private, but at least they wouldn’t have a table of spectators. Once it was just the two of them in the dimly lit hallway, Cole could feel the heat from her skin, smell the scent of her shampoo, and see the pulse thrumming in her neck. Maybe privacy was a bad idea.
***
They were barely out of sight, and Savannah was in his arms. She didn’t want to need him like this—to use him for her comfort—but she had little choice.
“Savannah…” He dislodged her hands from around his waist, holding her at arm’s length. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She hated the way her body betrayed her when Cole was near. Especially since he was so oblivious to her. She released her hold on him, clasping her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry, this is hard for me. I just hate knowing that you touched her.” She looked down, unable to meet his eyes, too nervous to see his reaction. She’d struggled all night to figure out what his motivation was. Why did he bring her home in the first place? Why plan this celebration for her?
“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “That happened before I ever knew you. It was a long time ago, and it won’t happen again.”
She swallowed a lump in her throat, trying to talk herself out of feeling so emotional, but it was no use. She wanted more from Cole. She needed more. And she had no idea how to tell him. She would have to show him. She couldn’t keep living like this.
He opened his arms, seeming to sense the shift in her mood. “Come here.”
Her heart rate kicked up and she stepped into his arms, allowing him to hold her. And all was right with the world. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.
***
Why did he keep f**king up with her? He needed to get his body in check, not allow it to react when she was near. She was soft and innocent and needing comforting — that was all. What she did not need was him getting wood every time she was in the room. Christ, what was he, seventeen? His hands smoothed over her bare arms. She was so soft, so lovely and she felt so familiar to him, molded to his body like this.
“Just take me home…” she murmured lightly, still resting her head against his chest.
He wouldn’t push her to stay out. Tonight was supposed to be about her — a celebration to show her he was proud, but he could tell it was too much too fast. She wasn’t ready. “Tell me what’s wrong first.” He struggled to keep his pulse under control and waited for her response. He knew that whatever Savannah wanted he would give her. And that f**king terrified him.
“I want all of this, I do. My own life, a job, an apartment. I want to live, Cole. Fully live. Not have you watching me every second for signs that I’m about to lose it. Who knows, maybe I will at some point; but we all do sometimes, right?” He didn’t know if that was a jab at him, and his own nightmares. He raised his hand as if to stop her, but Savannah pushed it away, and continued. “And I need you, Cole.”
“You have me,” he murmured, bringing a hand to her waist. “You know that, right? Christ Savannah, give me a break. This is uncharted territory for me, but you have to know that I’d do anything for you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe and protected.”
“Cole…” her voice was a soft plea. “I need more than that. You must know how I feel about you…”
Her confession floored him. How had they gotten here? Then he remembered the meals she’d lovingly prepared for him, the puppy he’d brought home for her, the new wardrobe, running her bubble baths. Shit. He never intended for her to read more into it. She deserved taking care of, especially in the fragile state she’d been in.
He closed his eyes, preparing to explain to her why that could never happen, yet failing to find the words, failing to find a single reason why he shouldn’t take her home right now and strip her naked. She couldn’t possibly understand the crazy things that swirled through his head, how hard she was to resist for all these many weeks.
She stepped in closer, testing his resolve. “Please Cole.”
He could no longer deny the compelling feeling that she was supposed to be his. He felt the first pang of it when he found her in that dingy back bedroom. She was the brightest thing in that place — a light of wonder emanating from her green eyes even that day as she drank him in. And as hard as he’d fought it, every day he spent with Savannah only secured her place in his heart a little more. “If we do this… it’s on my terms, Savannah.”
She nodded, even though her eyes betrayed her confusion. But it was enough of an agreement for him. He could end it at any time. He would call the shots. “Come on.” He grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers and roughly pulled her toward the exit.
“What about…” She gestured to the table.
“I’ll text Marissa and tell her you weren’t feeling well.”
She nodded and allowed him to guide her to the door.
***
Once they were inside Cole’s bedroom, the air between them hung thick with anticipation. Though they had shared his bed for several weeks now, this felt like something else entirely. Something pre-mediated. Cole took an uneasy step toward her. The thought of taking their easy relationship somewhere new scared him, and he couldn’t say why. But when Savannah bit into her soft bottom lip and her gaze fell to his belt buckle, all coherent thoughts escaped him. He’d wanted this for too long, and now she was offering herself up to him.