“Cramps?” Oh. Cramps.
He stared at her for a few minutes, wondering what he could do to ease her discomfort, but for once he was totally out of his league. He pulled his cell from his pocket and dialed Marissa, ducking into the bedroom. “Hey Rissa.”
“Hey there. You guys go on your double date tonight?”
“Yeah. That worked out fine; but listen, I need your advice. Savannah’s lying on the couch and says she has cramps. I thought maybe it was the Mexican food, but she says it’s not that.”
Marissa laughed. “She has cramps — like PMS. She’s probably going to start her period, Cole. How long has she been staying with you?”
“About a month.”
“That’s what I thought. Okay, here’s what you’re going to do. First, I put some pads and tampons in her bathroom, so make sure she knows they’re there.”
Cole listened, pacing his room as Marissa used words like heating pad, ibuprofen, warm bath, chick flick and ice cream.
“You got all that?”
“Not really,” he admitted.
“Be nice to her Cole. Being a woman sucks this time of month.”
“Dammit Marissa. No. You talk to her.”
She laughed again. “Nope. You can handle this.”
“Marissa…” his warning fell on deaf ears as the phone line went dead. “Dammit all to hell.” He tossed the phone on his bed.
Cole gathered all the supplies and dumped it all on the coffee table in front of her. “Here. Pain reliever, bottled water, a heating pad, uh…these things.” He pushed the boxes of tampons and pads toward her. “That should cover it.” He stood and backed away from her as though she was a wild and unpredictable animal.
Her eyes scanned the pile of supplies on the table. “What’s all this?”
“For your…situation,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of this neck.
“Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to do that, Cole.”
His posture softened. “It’s fine. And I’m going to run you a warm bath; Marissa said it would help.”
“You called Marissa?”
He nodded.
“Oh.” Her wide eyes followed him from the room.
He filled his large jetted tub with water and a squirt of his body wash to make bubbles. Savannah joined him in the bathroom a few minutes later, watching as he tested the temperature of the water and set out a fresh towel on the counter.
“Thank you.” She planted a damp kiss against his cheek.
He stood stock still as Savannah slipped off the sweatpants and then her panties. Cole turned to give her some privacy as her hands went to the hem of her shirt, but even facing the other direction, her reflection was in full view in the large mirror. She kept her eyes locked on his as she stripped off the shirt, and then her bra, letting all the clothes fall on the floor.
He was secretly glad she had cramps; it meant he wouldn’t touch her tonight, as much as he wanted to. But she was undressing in front of him like she had no concept of how little control he had when it came to her.
Savannah stepped carefully into the tub and lowered herself into the water until she was submerged up to her shoulders.
Cole’s feet had refused to budge as he watched her undress, but now that she was settled in the water, with her eyes closed and a look of bliss on her face, he felt like he was intruding. He let out a deep sigh of pent up frustration and left Savannah alone to relax.
Cole lay in bed that night with Savannah’s warm body cuddled against him and stared up at the ceiling. They couldn’t keep living this way. He knew that, yet he didn’t want to change a thing. He had Savannah here, safe with him, but he knew he was holding her back. She needed someone to help her experience all life had to offer, to help her grow, not someone who wanted to keep her all to himself. Savannah’s breathing hitched and she curled her body tighter around his. He wondered if she still had cramps, and absently rubbed a hand across her lower back, kneading the tight muscles.
Cole made a decision then and there. If he was selfish enough to keep Savannah, he would help her live life, give her all the experiences she never had. He knew that if he really wanted to help her, that meant preparing her to be able to live on her own. And eventually provide for herself, even if he didn’t like the idea of her leaving. He wanted her to have the option. Cole closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, relaxing into Savannah’s warm embrace and feeling confident that somehow this would all work out.
Cole woke with a start in the darkened room. He glanced at the clock. Two in the morning. He scrubbed a hand across his face and glanced at Savannah. She slept peacefully beside him. It had been over eight months since he’d had one of those nightmares. But the girl that he hadn’t been able to save had filtered back into his subconscious, probably provoked by Savannah’s rescue. The dreams weren’t enough to force him into taking the prescription anti-anxiety pills in his bathroom cabinet, but they were enough to keep him on edge about growing too cozy with Savannah. He needed to stay focused on his job, and that included helping Savannah get on her feet. Nothing more.
Not everything was some damn love story like Marissa thought. Not everyone got their happy endings. He knew that first hand — look at his parents, or go open any of the case files on his desk at work.
He still couldn’t help his mind from replaying a thousand scenarios though — each one with him unable to reach Savannah in time and witnessing her dying breath, like he had eight months ago with the other girl. After her death, he’d researched everything he could about the girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Only seventeen, she was downtown because she had a fight with her parents. He closed his eyes and pulled Savannah close, burying his face in her neck, breathing in her scent and trying t to escape the vision of the girl from his mind.