“They have salads and pasta too.” Cole handed her a menu while a server delivered two ice waters. “Get whatever you want.”
“I’ll just have whatever you’re having,” she said.
He frowned. “I thought you could sort of practice being out —you know, ordering for yourself, things like that.”
Oh. So this wasn’t just an enjoyable evening out — he was giving her a lesson. Teaching her how to be a normal person. She ducked her chin, suddenly ashamed that she thought she could just blend in with him, enjoy their time together. She was being scrutinized instead, and needed to earn his approval.
She opened her menu and began studying. Everything sounded delicious, but she knew she wanted to try one of those pizzas.
“Hi, have you guys been here before?” A bubbly server appeared in front of them.
“I have,” Cole said, “but Savannah hasn’t.”
“Oh, well welcome. Do you guys want to hear the specials, or do you already know what you want?” she asked, looking between them.
“Savannah?” Cole waited for her to answer.
“Um, I think I know what I want, but yes, I’d like to hear the specials.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Cole’s mouth, seemingly pleased with Savannah’s response. The waitress pulled out a notecard and read the specials. “Okay, our chef’s pizza tonight is fig and artichoke. The appetizer is a four-cheese grilled flatbread served with marinara sauce. What can I get for you?”
Savannah hesitated for a second. “Get whatever you want,” Cole whispered, placing his hand on her knee.
His touch reassured her, even if it was a little distracting the way his large hand fit around her thigh. “I’d like the vegetarian pizza with sausage, and a sweet tea, please.”
The waitress looked up from her pad. “You want meat on a vegetarian pizza?”
“Yes. And I’d like an order of that four-cheese bread too.”
Cole chuckled under his breath. “That sounds good. Make it two orders. Oh, and an Amstel please.”
After checking Cole’s ID, the waitress scurried away. Cole removed his hand from her leg and draped it casually across the back of her seat.
“Did I do okay?” she asked, resisting the urge to nuzzle into his side.
“You did perfect.”
Savannah glowed at his compliment, fiddling with her napkin as she placed it across her lap.
Their drinks arrived and as she sipped her tea, Cole turned to study her, his brow furrowed like he was thinking hard about something. “How are you feeling about staying with me?” He took a swig from his beer.
She thought of how to answer. Several words flitted through her mind. Safe. Relieved. But she said the first one that came to her lips. “Happy.”
Cole continued watching her with a puzzled expression, but she couldn’t tell if he was glad to hear that or not. A little bit of both, it seemed. “How have things been going with Dr. White? Do you feel like you’re making progress?”
She nodded. “Yes, it’s helping quite a bit. We’re talking about things I haven’t talked to anyone about before—things in my past. And we talk about my future, too.”
That word seemed to spark his curiosity. “What do you want in your future, Savannah?”
She wanted what all women wanted: to belong, to be loved, to find a partner in life. Her therapist coaxed her into talking about her long buried feelings, and what she wanted. Now that she’d accepted it, the thoughts occupied a large section of her brain. And there was no separating those thoughts from thoughts of Cole. He’d stuck by her, taken care of her every need, and had never tried to take advantage. She knew better than to rely on someone she didn’t know, but she’d been so helpless, so lost, she hadn’t had a choice. And Cole had earned her trust and respect, something she didn’t give out easily.
It was in this same conversation that Dr. White surprised her by asking if Cole had expressed a romantic interest in her, if he’d indicated he wanted something more than friendship. She’d said no. There had been nothing inappropriate in Cole’s behavior towards her, and nothing that indicated he wanted more. But ever since that seed had been planted in her mind, she wondered why Cole hadn’t. She studied her body in the mirror, wondering if she was attractive enough for him, and why he hadn’t noticed her. She’d daydreamed about how he looked without his shirt. She was undeniably curious about his body, what it would be like to touch him, to have him touch her. She’d never been so interested in a man before, yet she couldn’t deny her growing feelings for him.
Before Savannah could answer Cole’s question, the waitress delivered their plates. The amount of food was way too much for two people. They would certainly be taking home leftovers, but Savannah enjoyed as much as she could until she was almost uncomfortably full.
After dinner, Cole walked her outside, tucking her inside his SUV. He leaned close and whispered. “You still have to answer the question, Savannah.”
Her skin broke out in chill bumps and she merely nodded. The entire ride home she wondered if maybe—just maybe—he thought about the same things she did. The two of them together. Really together, not just stepping around each other in his condo. But neither of them spoke of the future for the rest of the night.
They watched TV on the couch until Savannah fell asleep. Cole carried her to bed, and just to see how far he’d let things go, she changed in his room, rather than her own. In the dimly lit room, she peeled off her jeans, then with her back to him she removed her sweater and bra. She could feel his eyes on her bare skin — her back, her bottom, clad in just the little white cotton panties he’d gotten for her. She could hear his breathing quicken and feel the electricity flowing between them. She wished she was brave enough to turn to him, to ask him to touch her, to kiss her, but of course she wasn’t. She pulled one of his T-shirts over her head before turning to face him. His gaze was intense, burning into hers. His eyes travelled down from her face to her bare legs, the T-shirt hitting the tops of her thighs.