Our footsteps echoed down the empty hallway. Thanks to our school’s new green policy, the lights flashed on as we approached. It put me on edge. On top of the system that stalked my every movement, now the building did, too.
“Who did you give your jacket to?” Mrs. Collins entered the main office and unlocked her office door on the first try.
“A girl.” A girl who’d ignored me all day Monday and had yet to return said jacket.
“A girlfriend or a friend that’s a girl?”
“Neither.”
Mrs. Collins gave me the pity look then busied herself with her purse. “Do you need a coat?”
I hated the pity look. After my parents died, everyone I knew wore that look. Eyes slightly rounded. The ends of their mouths curved up slightly while their lips pulled down. The entire time they fought to look normal, but they only came across as uncomfortable.
“No. I’m getting it back today.”
“Good.” She flipped open my file. “How are your tutoring sessions with Echo?”
“We’re starting today.” Only Echo didn’t know that yet.
“Glorious.” She opened her mouth to ask another asinine question, but I had my own.
“What do you know about my brothers?”
She picked up a pen and tapped it against the desk, keeping time with the second hand on the clock. “Keesha and I had a chat regarding your visit this weekend. What happened to Tyler was an accident.”
What the hell? “You’re a school counselor. What are you doing talking to my social worker? And what are you doing talking to her about Tyler?”
“I already told you. I’m a clinical social worker, and I’m the guinea pig for the pilot program. My job isn’t to handle a part of you, but to handle all of you. That means I have access to your brothers. I’ll be communicating with their foster parents and sometimes I’ll be talking to Jacob and Tyler as well.
“As for where I fit in here at Eastwick, Mrs. Branch handles the typical guidance counselor issues and I handle …” She bobbed her head. “The more enlightening students. School fills your mind with knowledge, but we tend to ignore the emotional. I’m here to see what happens if we pay attention to both.”
Yay for me. Having Keesha up my ass was bad enough. Now I had Sally Sunshine in my business, too. I ran my hand over my face and shifted in my chair.
Mrs. Collins continued, “Keesha also told me that you’re threatening to petition for custody of your brothers after you graduate. If that’s true, Noah, you’ve got some major changes you need to make in your life. Are you willing to make them?”
“Excuse me?” Did she just challenge me to get my shit together so I could get my family back?
She put the pen down and leaned forward. “Are you willing to make the changes necessary to possibly care for your brothers after graduation?”
Fuck, yeah. Hell, yes. “Yes, ma’am.”
Mrs. Collins picked her pen back up and wrote in my file. “Then you’re going to have to prove it to me. I know you have no reason to trust me, but this process will go faster and smoother if you can find a way to do it. You need to focus on yourself right now and trust Keesha and me to see to the welfare of your brothers.
“The reality of the situation is this. If you continue to harass Keesha about visitation and if you continue to pump Jacob for information on his foster parents, specifically their last name, then you are making it appear as if you aren’t willing to play by the rules. The visitation you have now is a privilege, Noah. A privilege I want to see you keep. Do we have an understanding?”
The chair jerked beneath me as I pointed at her. “Those are my brothers.”
The lack of information about who had my brothers—their foster parents’ last name, their address, their phone number … the fact that I couldn’t see Jacob and Tyler whenever I wanted … I lost all of those “privileges” the day I hit my first foster father. My throat swelled and my eyes stung. The realization that I was on the verge of tears pissed me off. I stood, unsure what to do … or who to blame. “You have no right. They’re my responsibility.”
Mrs. Collins stared at me straight-faced. “They’re safe. You need to believe me on this. You’re putting your experiences on your brothers. I understand your need to protect them, but right now it isn’t necessary. If you want to see them on a regular basis then you need to learn to work with me, and I’ve explained how you can do that.”
“Go to hell.” I grabbed my books and left her office.
Echo
Mrs. Collins’s plaques had moved by a fraction of an inch, revealing black marks on the wall. For once, I found myself wishing for Ashley’s attendance. The imperfection would have driven her insane.
Just like last week, the blue ribbon sat on Mrs. Collins’s desk and just like last week, the placement of the ribbon changed— each time closer to my seat. It was as if the ribbon contained a force field that enveloped me—a pull I couldn’t explain.
“How are things with your boyfriend?” asked Mrs. Collins. Another Tuesday afternoon, another therapy session.
I drew my eyes away from the ribbon. Thank God Luke had asked me out on a group date for Saturday night. One less lie for me to tell. “Ashley misunderstood. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I am dating somebody.” Kind of. Sort of. If one date was considered dating.
Her eyes brightened. “Wonderful. Is it that basketball player I’ve seen hanging around with you in the hall?”