I see it, he signs. The big one is drunk.
The big ones always fall the hardest.
And they’re a bitch to pick up off the floor.
Matt laughs. I’m so f**king glad he’s getting back to normal.
I’ll take the little one if you’ll take the big one. He cracks his knuckles and grins at me.
You’re such a pu**y, I sign. And you can’t even claim chemo did it to you because you were a pu**y before you got sick. I grin at him.
He shrugs his shoulders and smiles unabashedly back at me. It makes me so happy to see him like this. I watched him deteriorate last fall to the point where we thought he wouldn’t pull through. He still might not, but we have hope.
At least I can get some pu**y if I try. He looks down at the crotch of my jeans. Your dick, however, is going to rot off from lack of use.
I can’t help it if I’m a one-woman man.
He claps a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. When do you think she’ll be back? I need to thank her.
She wouldn’t want any thanks. I shrug my shoulders. I wish I knew.
Matt points toward the fight, which is about to escalate into a full-out brawl. The little guy is dumb enough to shove the big guy. He falls into a woman behind him, and then her boyfriend starts swinging.
Now, Matt says.
Now. I f**king love this part of the job. It takes four of us. Matt, Ford, another bouncer, and I all jump into the fray and quickly have it under control. But the big man is on the floor with his eyes closed. He has a smile on his face. He’s murmuring something, but I can’t read his lips.
I think he’s singing? Matt says, his eyebrows arching in question. Girl you make my speakers go boom boom?
I laugh. People look over as noise bursts from my throat, but I don’t care. Laughter feels good. Emily taught me that. Help me get him up.
Matt takes one arm while I take the other, and we hoist him onto his wobbly legs. His girlfriend, who is pretty unsteady herself, says, “We need a cab.”
Matt and I haul him out to the cabstand and throw him into a taxi. The girlfriend gets in behind him. I feel bad for the cab driver who will have to throw his big ass out on the sidewalk.
I dust my hands off. At least it’s done.
Snow is falling on us, and I brush my hand across my hair. Suddenly, Matt tenses beside me. What? I ask.
He smiles, claps me on the shoulder and says, Take the rest of the night off. Then he points behind me.
I turn around and freeze. My lungs refuse to do their job, and I stand there, not breathing, not moving, trying not to feel anything. But there she is. Emily is standing on the sidewalk looking at me.
She shifts from foot to foot, looking nervous as hell. Snow is falling on her hair, and she’s not wearing a coat. Surely she can afford a coat. Her family is worth billions. Her dark-blond hair, so unlike the black hair with the blue stripe she had when I met her, falls down to the middle of her back, and she has it tucked behind her ear. She’s not wearing clothes from around here. She’s full-on Madison Avenue right now.
But the best thing about it is… she’s mine.
Matt says something to her, but she doesn’t speak to him. She doesn’t break eye contact with me, and I feel like there’s an invisible tether between the two of us.
I look at Matt to tell him I’m going wherever she goes. He grins. I guess we won’t have to worry about your dick dying from lack of use after all.
I’ll see you later.
I doubt it, he says. But he’s still grinning that goofy smile. I want to go and hug her, but I guess you get first dibs.
And last dibs. And all the dibs in between.
He waves to her and signs the word later.
She nods, throws him a kiss with the tips of her fingers, and then starts toward me. Her boots leave footprints in the snow, and I force myself to stay still. I tuck my hands in my jeans pockets to keep from grabbing her.
Hi, she signs.
I can’t stand it any longer. I reach for her so quickly that she startles, but she’s reaching for me, too. I haul her against me, needing to feel her heart beating against mine.
Her breath brushes my ear and f**king tears sting my eyes. I tuck my face into her neck and breathe in the scent that is uniquely hers. She wraps her arms around my waist, and her hands slide into my back pockets. We stand there in the snow like that until I feel dampness on my shirt. I tilt her face up to mine so I can look at her.
“I’m so glad you’re home.” I use my voice because I don’t want to take my hands off her.
“Me, too,” she says. A lone tear tracks down her cheek. I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
“You’re back?” I ask.
She nods, turning her head to kiss my palm.
“For how long?”
“Always.” She smiles. God, she can undo me with that smile.
“Promise?” My heart is pounding in my chest.
She nods and draws a cross over her chest. “I swear it.”
“What about your father?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to talk about my father right now.”
“I’ll never survive it if you leave me again.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Can you come home with me?” she asks.
If I take her home right now, we won’t get to talk at all because I’ll be all over her. “Let’s go get some pie,” I say instead.
Her face falls. “You’re mad at me.”
“I love you like crazy, girl. How could I be mad at you?” I drink her in from the curve of her lips to the way her eyes look almost black in the darkness of the night.