I’d only known her a few weeks.
But I was in love with Harper Bailey.
You’re in deep, Callum, I thought to myself because I had just asked the love of my life to marry me but did it for all the wrong reasons.
Harper
I had no idea what I was doing. I practically agreed to marry a stranger. Except he wasn’t a stranger, was he? He was Callum. Sweet, adorable, amazing Callum. Agreeing to marry him for appearance’s sake only felt wrong, though, knowing how I really felt about him. I was falling in love with Callum and marrying him for the wrong reasons made me feel ill to my stomach, knowing I’d only end up breaking my heart in the end.
I knew I would do it, though. As pathetic as that seemed, I know I would. If Callum Tate ever asks you to marry him, you do it whether he loves you or not because he would treat you better than anyone else. I knew how stupid I was being but I literally could not help myself. Never had I ever lead my life with my heart. Why I was doing it now, I didn’t know but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because I really did love Callum. It was a self-destructive decision. I had no real sense of self-preservation. To hell with it. I’ll probably leave the imitation marriage with my heart scattered in pieces at my feet but at least I’ll get to know what it feels like to belong to someone, really belong to someone, with papers to prove it and everything.
Since we’re both using the other to survive is it really using? Yes. It was. I couldn’t lie to myself but somehow it didn’t feel like using. I knew Callum and I would figure it out together whether we went ahead with the sham marriage or not. That made me feel a little better about considering his fictitious proposal.
“We can’t tell anyone it’s fake,” I blurted out to him.
“I completely agree. We couldn’t let anyone know, not even Charlie or Cherry. It’s just not smart if we don’t take this all very seriously.”
“I know.”
“And, uh, I’m not sure how you feel about this but we can’t get married in a church. This is not a promise we’re making to God, only to the state.”
I laughed. “Callum, I know that. Trust me, you’ve made that very clear. This is not a real marriage,” I said, my stomach hurting knowing the pain I was purposely inflicting on myself. What a glutton for punishment.
All the color surprisingly drained from his face. “I’m sorry, I know.”
“So, when would we do it?” I asked.
“We would have to apply for a license. It takes several days to process. Then get married on Saturday.”
“And we’re sure John would never be able to find me?”
“There’s no guarantee, Harper. I mean, I’m just betting he’s too stupid to check to see if you were married. We can ask about making the records private.”
“Okay, and we’re just doing this for a year? Just enough to save a few bucks and get our own place?”
“Right, then we get an annulment or divorce, whichever. I just don’t see any other way to live while we go to school since we lost our money and I can’t sell my bike now.”
“You were thinking of selling your bike?” I asked, knowing I never would have ever let him do that.
“Yeah, we didn’t have anything else to sell.”
“Yes, we did,” I said. “My book.”
“Absolutely not, Harper. No way! I would never let you do that!”
“It’s better to sell the book. It’s all we have now, no thanks to me.”
“Will you stop blaming yourself? And, no! I’m putting my foot down. No! That book stays in your possession come heck or high water. No, this is our only option.”
I sighed loudly. “I think you’re right,” I said. “We’re pretty desperate.” I laugh without humor.
Minutes pass in companionable silence.
“Harper?” Callum asked quietly.
“Hmm?” I said, studying Callum’s Converse, my head on his chest, his arm around my shoulder.
“Does this mean you’ll marry me?” He asked, peeking down at my face.
I felt an embarrassing crimson heat flush spread across my cheeks.
“I think it does,” I whispered.
We were both silent for a very long time, our chests heavy with labored breathing. This was it. We were actually going to do it. I couldn’t believe myself. This felt like the best and worst decision I’d ever made.
“What do we have to lose?” He asked.
Everything.
“Okay, so we’re not acting anymore,” he said, thinking. “Well go to a pawn shop, buy a few rings, apply for a license, tell our friends.”
I gulped audibly. “When?”
“Today, right now. Why? You got somethin’ better to do?”
“No,” I nervously chuckled. “Won’t we lose our place in line?” I stupidly asked.
Callum eyed me. “Do you want to do this, Harper?”
“Yes,” I said with conviction and stood. “Let’s go. I think I saw a pawn shop three blocks down.”
“I know the one,” he said. “We’ll try to be back before the doors close and just hope for the best.”
“It is The Hope House,” I lamely joked, making Callum contort a funny face at its dorkiness.
I laughed.
The pawn shop was old. You could tell the same owner was in possession since the fifties and he still ran the counter.
“How can I help you?” A kindly looking older man asked.