Nausea hit. Desperate to get away, she pushed against his chest and stumbled back. The devastation on his face, the raising of his arms into empty air, sliced her deep. She heard her mother’s quiet gasp at the complete rejection of his emotions, and she wondered again if she was crazy, if David really was a good man. If she needed to give him another chance.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to do this to you, leave you in this way. I have no excuse.” Her voice broke. “I’ll never forgive myself for forcing you to deal with the mess I left behind.”
“I forgive you, Genevieve. I just don’t want to lose you. I want you back.”
In that moment, the noises died down and her heart took a step forward. She’d loved him once. Believed he was the one. Somehow, along the way, that love had turned to fear, doubt, and sadness. There was no other chance for them, because she didn’t like who she was with David.
She didn’t even know who she was with him.
A quick glance around the room showed hope. A happy ever after. But she couldn’t give it to them.
“David, I—I can’t. I can’t.”
Jim cleared his throat. “I think you two need to talk in private.”
She nodded. They walked silently up the stairs and closed the door to the spare room behind them. Since the house had emptied, her father had turned it into an office, with a small futon, computer, desk, and television. The walls were pale peach. She fingered the slight dent by the window, remembering when she and Izzy had played Dance-Off and Izzy banged her head in an attempt to do a handstand gone horribly wrong.
“Why? Why did you leave me, Genevieve?”
He always used her full name. She used to find it intimate. Now he only sounded like a teacher figure rather than a lover.
“I should’ve realized the truth of my feelings before. I’ve been unhappy for a long time. I don’t think we’re good together.”
His brow arched. “How could you say that? We’ve been perfect together from the beginning. I love you. I want to protect you and be with you forever. What’s not working?”
She shifted her feet. She needed to be strong and focus. “I don’t feel like I’m me anymore,” she said softly. “I feel like I’m turning myself inside out to please you but it’s never enough. I’m not happy. I don’t think you are either. You’re constantly telling me how to fix myself to make you happy. People who love one another are supposed to accept who you are.”
“Did you get that line from Wolfe?” She flinched. “Do you even realize the humiliation you put me through? Everyone knew you were with him. Believed you’d run off for some wild affair and left me holding the bag. The hospital is full of gossip; it’s been impossible to work. Strangers stare. Reporters have staked out our house and harass my parents and your family. And did you even give me the courtesy of a phone call? No. Just disappeared with that lowlife.”
The charm began to disappear. He took a few steps in, forcing her to back up against the wall. Anger pulsed from his frame, but he held still, caging her in with his body. He was an expert at aggressive maneuvers without saying a word. Gen tried to keep calm, but already the panic leaked through, urging her to run. Why was she so intimidated by him?
“Nothing happened between us. Nothing ever has or will. He was outside when I came through the window and I asked him to take me away. It’s all my fault. I didn’t call because I was trying to get my head together. I’ve been afraid to face the truth about us.”
She remembered when Wolfe tempted her with more time away. The empty road ahead. If it hadn’t been for that newspaper article, she would’ve run even farther with him, maybe never stopped or looked back. The guilt crippled her, but she needed to push through.
“I can’t make you happy,” she whispered. “I’m not enough.”
The intimidation faded away. His body sagged. His eyes held a naked sadness and longing that she’d first fallen in love with. Not only the brilliant doctor, but the broken man who craved love and promised to give her everything. “No,” he said softly. “I’m not enough for you. I’ve never been.” He pushed his fingers through his hair, tilting his head back as if searching for answers from the heavens. “I didn’t mean what I said about Wolfe. I know it wasn’t like that between you, I just don’t know what I’m saying. I haven’t slept since you left. I go over every detail to see what I did to make you scared of me or doubt my feelings for you. And then my greatest fear came true. You left me.” His voice broke. “Just like my mother did. Just like I was always afraid you would.”
Gen squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to hurt him. She might not want to marry him, but her love for him had been real at one point. His past haunted him, and her actions only emphasized his weakness. Shame flared. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I hate what I did, I have no excuse except I panicked and had to get away. I was afraid to face you.”
“Have I ever hit you, Genevieve? Physically hurt you in any way?”
She shuddered but managed to shake her head. “No. But your words did.”
He tilted his head, confusion evident. “I always said I loved you. Praised you. The only reason I would ever ask for more is because you are a brilliant doctor and I want you to succeed. I see your potential and didn’t want you to settle. If that hurt you, I’ll fix it. I’ll be different.”