“There were a couple of buddies, guys who woulda done anything for each other. And they always liked to one-up the other doing wild shit. So one of ’em came up with the idea to race their chariot things across the sky, around the sun, and back again.” He paused, and I caught a shift in his tone. The others were still looking up at the stars, listening to his story like kids getting tucked in. I watched Rusty. He twirled his empty beer bottle in the dirt in front of him, then continued without looking up. “So one of the guys crashed his cart and ended up stuck at the bottom of this river. And his buddy, Cygnus, saw it and dove down to get him, but the guy was all tangled up in the weeds at the bottom. Well Cygnus dove down again and again, trying to get his friend loose, but he couldn’t do it no matter how hard he tried. So he finally gave up and sat down on the bank of the river and begged Zeus to do something ’cuz he knew his best friend was gone.”
He paused, and I knew the others were silently waiting to hear the end of the story. I couldn’t have said anything if I wanted to. In that moment, his words sat on my chest, heavy with something I could feel but didn’t wholly understand. Something that hurt in a more real way than anything else had in the last few days. Something the two of us, sitting there, shared.
He looked up and held my eyes as he started again slowly. “So Zeus took pity on this guy, Cygnus, because he was so broken up about his friend. And he made him a deal: He told him that if he turned him into a swan, he’d be able to dive down and get his friend. So he could have a proper burial and be sent off to wherever in peace. The catch was, he’d have to give up his immortality to do it. And stay a swan until he died.” He paused and I looked up at the sky, hoping no one could see how hard I was working to hold back what felt like a warm flood rising behind my eyes.
Rusty went on. “Cygnus didn’t give it a second thought. Traded his life to honor his friend. And then when he died, Zeus stuck him up in the sky as a swan for being such a stand-up guy.” He gave the beer bottle another spin, and when it got away from him, he didn’t bother to grab for it. “Anyway, that’s the story of that one.”
I stared up at the four stars that were Cygnus, and couldn’t help but picture Rusty and Finn, wild and inseparable. When they hit the field together, they may as well have been racing chariots across the sky. They were all fire and glory when they played. People called them the dream team and did stories and news features about the best friends who were also the best pair of cornerbacks in Texas high school football. There was no such thing as one without the other.
For the first time since Finn’s death, I was sad for someone besides myself.
More than a few beats passed before Corrie sat up. “Aww, I like that one. Sad, though. How do you know it? No offense, but you don’t seem like the astronomy type.” She smiled and we all turned, waiting for his answer. I knew, though. My brother was the astronomy type.
Rusty turned his head to the side and spit. “Heard it from a friend.” He stood. “I gotta take a piss.” To anyone else, he probably just sounded drunk, but I recognized the edge in his voice. I watched him disappear into the dark and wondered for a second if I should follow or try to talk to him about Finn, but I didn’t have it in me. Instead, I wiped my damp cheeks as discreetly as I could and sat up in my chair.
Corrie stood and stretched, looking at Sam. “I’m going to bed. You coming?”
“Yep.” He checked the coals in the fire pit. “You guys can just let that burn down if you’re gonna be up a little while.”
We nodded, and Sam put his hands on Corrie’s shoulders, steering her to their tent. “Wyatt, you’re in the truck tonight. See you before sunrise.”
When they were zipped into their tent, Wyatt stretched his arms over his head and sighed. “I gotta learn a few of those stories about the stars. You seemed pretty impressed over there.”
I kept my eyes on the fire. “What do you mean?”
He looked at me with a puzzled kind of sympathy. “You got all teary eyed. It was cute.” He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me gently into him. “See, it’s perfect, because then you need someone to cheer you up.” His arm around me felt good, and I smiled but didn’t say anything. Just let myself lean into him the slightest bit. He was warm and smelled like campfire smoke, and I rested my head on his shoulder the way you do with someone close to you.
“Easy there, bro. She’s got a marine for a brother.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I sat up lightning quick, despite the immediate sinking feeling in my chest. Wyatt laughed and raised his hands in surrender as Rusty walked over slowly from the dark to the now-dim circle of firelight. He was smiling a smile that put me on edge instantly. Don’t, I begged silently. Don’t say anything else.
Casually, he kicked a pebble in front of him. “Yeah, if her brother saw some guy she’d just met with his arms around her, he’d put a boot in his ass.” He turned his eyes on me. “Ain’t that right, H?”
I didn’t know what to say. The sympathy I’d felt for him a few minutes earlier went icy. I stared at him and hoped he could see it. Stop it.
Wyatt spoke up. “No worries, man. We were just talking.”
Rusty considered this, then sat down in the chair on the other side of Wyatt. Put a hand on his shoulder. “Good. Because her brother ain’t around anymore.”
Hot, angry tears pooled at the corners of my eyes, and I sat, paralyzed. Wyatt looked over at me, confused. Rusty let go of him and sat back in his chair, shaking his head. “Nope. He ain’t around anymore, because he thought it’d be a good idea to sign up for the marines instead of playing football, and then he went and got himself blown up, probably for no reason at all.”