“Hey, Connor. Don’t let your mommy make fun of me, okay?”
“Mommy, be nice,” he scolds her, and I let out a laugh.
“Where’s your sister, little man?”
I watch as he runs off, red cape flying behind him. These kids have a way, in a matter of only seconds, of putting me on top of the world. I doubt I’ll ever have any of my own, so I try to get the most out of my cousins’ children.
“Here she is,” I hear Tori say as she hoists Bailey onto her lap.
She’s the sweetest little poodle I have ever seen. “My little angel’s a poodle,” I say, not able to wipe the smile off my face. The cuteness is too much.
“Say hi,” Tori encourages, as Bailey raises her chubby arm and waves at me before pointing, pressing her finger against the screen and saying, “Wy-Wy.”
“That’s right. It’s Ry-Ry,” she says to Bailey.
“Give Ry-Ry kisses,” I tell her.
Perking her lips, she gives me an exaggerated, “Muah.”
“Muah,” I give her back in return.
“Are you coming for Thanksgiving?” Connor asks when he walks up, standing next to Tori and Bailey.
“Yeah, buddy, I am. Promise! I miss you guys so much, you know that?”
“I miss you too,” he says.
“Well, I’m gonna let you guys go. Make sure you get a ton of candy. Be good for your mommy and daddy, okay?”
“Yay! Can we go trick-or-treating now, Mommy?” Connor asks with way too much energy, and I have no clue how Tori and Trevor are gonna get through Halloween without the aid of alcohol.
“Yes, we can go. Say bye to your uncle.”
“Bye, Uncle Ryan,” he shouts before running off.
“Say bye-bye,” Tori tells Bailey.
Waving her hand again, she says, “Bye-bye.”
“Bye, sweetie,” I tell her.
“We gotta go before Connor drives me crazy,” I hear Trevor, Tori’s husband, say as he walks up.
“Okay,” she responds.
“Hey, Ryan. What’s up?” Trevor says into the phone.
“Not much. Looks like you have your hands full.”
“You have no idea. Get your ass here and help us out,” he jokes.
“Soon, man. You guys have fun tonight.”
“Same to you. Bye.”
“Bye,” Tori adds.
“Take it easy, guys,” I say before disconnecting the call.
I take the next half hour to call my other two cousins and check in with their kids. Envy starts to move slowly inside of me, and before I let the feeling take over, I go upstairs to my room, blast some music, and hop in the shower. It’s gonna be a busy night at work, and I don’t need to be in a funk. I love my family, but the idea of having my own worries me. What I grew up with was far from perfect. I’ve never had to take care of anyone other than myself, aside from my mom. But she’s a strong woman, always has been. I don’t really know what it means to provide for someone else emotionally. Even if I did, I doubt I would be capable of it. I live a selfish life. I only take care of myself, and at times, I feel like I do a shitty job of it.
After my shower, I grab a bite to eat and watch a little TV. I find myself focusing on the rain outside rather than the show that’s playing. It’s pouring as I stare out the solid wall of windows. I’ve always loved the weather here, never getting tired of the constant rain.
My phone rings, and when I look at the screen, I see Max’s name.
“What’s up?” I say when I answer.
“When are you getting here?”
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten. We’re already at capacity, and I feel like shit,” he complains.
“I’m leaving now,” I tell him as I drag myself off the couch and start heading out.
I walk out to my black Rubicon and decide to grab a coffee before I go to the bar. It’s gonna be a late night, and Mel sucks at making coffee. I drive around the corner and spot a coffee shop right off campus. Not that hard to do since there are coffee shops on every street corner.
Throwing the car in park, I step out into the heavy rain. I keep my head down as I walk to the door, getting soaked. When I go inside, my phone buzzes with a text from Jase. He’s asking when I’m heading in, and I’m distracted when I walk up to the counter.
I briefly notice a girl sitting on a stool behind the register, reading a textbook, studying. She sees me and hops up as I turn my attention to the drink menu on the wall.
“Hey, what can I get for you?” she asks softly.
Still looking at the drinks, I settle on my usual. “Uh, just a twenty coffee. Black,” I tell her when I start typing my text back to Jase.
“Easy enough.”
On my way now. Give me 15min. Busy?
Insane.
“That’s one ninety-three,” she says as I shove my cell into my pocket.
Pulling out my wallet, I hand over a five. Finally, not distracted, I look at her. I think I know this girl ‘cause something about her seems familiar. I stare, trying to pinpoint who she is, but she’s so different from any girl I would ever go for, so I’m just confused. She has a small frame, can’t be much taller than five feet. Her hair is a deep brown like mine, and it’s pulled up, messy, on top of her head.
“Everything okay?” she asks, catching me staring, as she hands me my change. This girl has me so caught off guard that I don’t even realize I haven’t responded when she questions, “Anything else?”