One side of his mouth kicked up in a grin and I felt the effect of it in the pit of my stomach. He didn’t have to flirt or try to be charming, not with a grin wicked enough to promise so much more than a fantastic time.
“I wanna have sex, Ayd. Lots and lots of sex . . . with you and only you. Does it have to be more than that right now? After last night how can you deny that you want it, too?”
I shook my head a little and let out a slow exhale. I was going to ask him what had changed, since all the complications he seemed stuck on when we first met still existed, but he went on and rendered me silent.
“I’m not saying it couldn’t eventually lead to more, but right now I feel pretty broken and I’m not really sure there are enough pieces lying around to put me back together.”
That was heartbreaking and I couldn’t fault him for his honesty; in fact I think I appreciated that more than the back-and-forth tug and pull that had been eating at me over the last year. We just stared at each other in silence until my phone rang from somewhere over by where he was standing. He picked it up and threw it at me without looking at the display. I frowned when I saw it was the same Kentucky number that had been calling me the other day. I swiped the screen to answer it and was greeted with dead air. I called “hello” into the phone several times and got no response. I tossed the phone on the couch; that particular problem could wait for now, and turned back to Jet.
“Let me be absolutely clear, Jet. We live right across the hall from each other, we have all our friends in common, and we have very different views on the fundamentals of what is important to our futures. None of those things has changed since the first time you told me we couldn’t start anything up, so how exactly does this play out for you?”
I knew what I wanted: him. I felt like I had wanted him forever. I wasn’t going to be all crazy and say that I was in love with him, that I couldn’t live without him, but he did something to me, got to me in a way no one else ever had. He might think he was broken, but I knew the truth—that he was funny, sweet, and undeniably talented and there were more than enough pieces of him at my disposal if I wanted to try to put him back together. He had so much to offer even if they weren’t the things I had spent years telling myself I wanted, and I wondered if I could share all my secrets with him and finally be done lugging them around all by myself.
He rocked back on the heels of his boots, and the spikes in his ears made him look extra devilish. A half grin twisted his mouth and it was easy to see why girls all across town were so in lust with him. “It plays out day by day and moment by moment. I get the feeling that anything more than that would send you sprinting in the opposite direction.”
I felt my eyes widen in surprise and my mouth fall open. I guess there was something to be said for in-your-face forthrightness, but I hadn’t been expecting that. I didn’t realize he knew me well enough to know that’s more than likely exactly what I would have done. I didn’t get a chance to respond because apparently he was done talking. He moved toward me and scooped me up in hard arms.
This time when he kissed me there was none of the anger, none of the desperation and hurt that had filled the space between us last night. This was a kiss that was filled with promise, filled with all the things that had been hot and heavy between us for so long. I forgot I was standing in Rowdy’s apartment, and that I was furious at him moments ago. I forgot everything except how he felt and how he made me feel, and I lost myself in the glide of his tongue across mine and in the grip of his fingers on my hips. I had waited forever for this boy, and had wanted him, coveted him for so long it felt like the longing was a living, breathing thing inside me.
Jet just reached right into the heart of where all that desire lived, where all that lust had percolated and boiled, and he pulled it to the surface with nothing more than a soft brush of fingertips and an artfully twisted tongue. He kissed me like we had all the time in the world to do it over and over again. He kissed me like he was trying to memorize every action, every sound, and every taste, so that he could write songs about it. He kissed me like I was the only girl he was ever going to kiss again, and it made my head spin and my breathing choppy. I wanted to suck on that bar in the center of his tongue like it was lollipop.
I had my hands wrapped up in that choppy black hair and was working my way up to climbing him like a tree, even though we were out in the open in his best friend’s living room, when we heard a throat being cleared and saw Rowdy come meandering out of the kitchen. He was holding a banana and watching us with humor dancing in his bright blue eyes.
“I wasn’t going to interrupt but I like my couch and don’t need Jet getting it all sexed up. Besides, I doubt either one of you is paying attention to the time. Ayd’s gotta get going if she’s going to make it to work.”
I swore and dashed to where I had tossed my phone earlier. He was right; I barely had time to get back to the house and grab my uniform. I looked at Jet with wide eyes. “I need to go.”
He nodded, looked at Rowdy and pointed to the abandoned coffee on the table. “Even though you’re a cock-blocker, you can have that.”
Rowdy chuckled and lifted an eyebrow. “I saved your sorry ass and you know it.”
I didn’t know what they were talking about and I didn’t have the time to get into it, so I gave Rowdy a quick kiss good-bye with a mumbled “thank you,” grabbed Jet by the elbow, and towed him out of the apartment. We were both pretty quiet in the car on the way back to the house. I wanted to ask if he had gone home alone last night, but figured if he hadn’t, there was no way Cora would have told him where I was. I barely let him pull into the driveway before dashing inside to scoop up all my stuff. He hovered uneasily at my bedroom doorway, watching me run around like a madwoman. I looked at him over my shoulder as I shoved my uniform in my bag and frantically ran a brush through my hair.
“What’s wrong?”
He shrugged a shoulder and propped himself up in the doorway. “I just don’t know what we do now.”
I wasn’t entirely certain how to answer that, either, so I stopped in front of him and kissed him long and hard on a surprised mouth. “Me, either, but we have time to figure it out later. How about right at this minute we just work on the lots and lots of sex part, and go from there? I think we both agree that that part is going to be a no-brainer for us, and like you said, moment to moment works just fine for me.”