Death takes away your life. But it also takes your fear.
When I woke up from the dream, covered in sweat, I was disappointed to see the room was still dark. There was something so dreadful about waking up from a dream in the middle of the night, adrenaline still coursing through your veins, only to see you have half the night, half a world of darkness, to go. Suffice to say, I couldn’t go back to sleep. Even though I sometimes wanted death in my dreams, I didn’t when I was awake. When I was awake I was governed by fear, through and through.
I carefully pulled my covers back on to me since they were usually kicked off as I thrashed in the throes of my dreams, my body still sore and aching, and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe that’s why I was so attracted to Derrin. He looked like the sort who could protect me, who could take care of me. He was a soldier. Those were the types who never showed fear, who never ran from anything. For the most part they were honest and noble and brave.
I stayed awake like that for a while longer, accepting the fact that I wouldn’t fall back asleep, and thought about him. I thought about him to the point where I was sure I was obsessing – which wasn’t new for me – but then I let myself do it without judgment. It was a distraction and a most welcome one.
At some point I fell back asleep.
CHAPTER FIVE
Alana
“That’s what you’re wearing?” Luz asked as I opened the front door to her.
I looked down at myself. I was wearing jean cut-off shorts and a faded yellow tee with a vintage Coca Cola slogan on it. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing,” she said adamantly. “It’s just I’ve never seen you so dressed down and casual before.”
“Yes you have.”
“But not for a date.”
She was right about that. “This isn’t a date.”
She rolled her eyes. “Goodness, just own up to it. It’s a date, sweatheart. Even if it’s coffee, in the middle of the day, with no sex, it’s a date.”
“Says you on the no sex thing.”
“Are you really going to fuck him the way you are? At a café?” She gave me a look and then shook her head with a raise to her lip. “You know what, don’t answer that, you’ve already told me your options.”
I grinned at her, quickly set the alarm and locked the apartment behind me.
It was a Monday and traffic was crazy congested as usual. I started to fret a bit, wondering if I was going to be late, how long he would hang around for, if he thought I was standing him up. The skin beneath my arm cast began to itch like crazy and I was flipping open the glove compartment to see if Luz had a pen or something.
“Will you calm down, you spazz,” she said, eyeing me out of the corner of her eye while laying down the horn in protest of whatever driver did something stupid up ahead.
“You calm down,” I retorted. “My arm is so itchy and you’re taking forever.”
“I’m taking forever,” she repeated, waving at the sea of cars on the highway, the thick dust that choked the side of the road. In the distance the jungle green mountains rose up from the dryness, offering respite. The area around Puerto Vallarta was always an interesting mix of the wild and the urban, the wet and the dry. “Do you want me to drive over the traffic? Because I totally would, you know, if I had a bigger car.”
I sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of my face as the car inched along.
Finally when we reached Nuevo Vallarta, we were already fifteen minutes late. All my sighing and foot tapping (the good foot, of course) couldn’t change that fact. I could only hope Derrin would understand.
We parked right outside of the Dos Hombres café and Luz helped me out of the car as quickly as she could. From the street, I couldn’t really see inside but it looked like the place was packed as always. It had a simple décor, a ton of indoor palm plants, and the best breakfast burritos, banana flan and spicy mochas that one could hope for.
It seemed we had caught the workweek lunch rush, so it took us awhile to actually get into the café and look around. If I didn’t have to lean on Luz – crutches were far too awkward to use than I had thought and I rarely used them – it would have been easy to do a quick sweep of the place.
But even so, he wasn’t there.
“Maybe he’s in the washroom,” Luz suggested hopefully.
Another heavy exhale escaped my lips. We were too late. Derrin was gone. Although there was a chance that he never came here to begin with.
“There you two ladies are,” a rough male voice came from behind us, speaking in broken Spanish. We craned our necks to see Derrin coming toward us holding two hot drinks in his hand. He was wearing knee-length cargo shorts and a grey wifebeater that showed off every single tanned muscle and plane on his body. I had to make sure my mouth wasn’t gaping open.
“Sorry, we’re late,” Luz said, switching to English. “The traffic was really bad.”
I found my voice. “Yeah. Sorry. I thought we’d missed you.”
He gave me a half-grin, something that made his face change from hard and masculine to soft and boy-like. I liked both parts of him. “Like I would leave so easily. I’m used to everything running on Mexican time by now. Mañana and all that.”
“Such the typical tourist thing to say,” I teased him.
“We only say it because it’s true,” he said and handed me my drink. “And you know it. I got you just a plain coffee, by the way. I didn’t know if you were lactose intolerant or on a diet or whatever.”
I thanked him and Luz muttered something along those lines as she took her coffee, while Derrin looked around the café. “It seems there is nowhere to sit.”
“There’s a park around the corner,” I said but even then I wasn’t too keen on the idea of having our date on a park bench surrounded by pigeons. Derrin didn’t seem like he liked it either. His smile sort of froze.
“Oh, look,” Luz said, pointing to the corner. “Those people are leaving.”
“But there are only two seats,” he said.
Luz gave him a look. “Nice try, but you know I’m not staying with you. I agreed to be a chauffeur, not a chaperone.” She eyed me, a hint of warning in them. “I’ll be back here in three hours. Any change of plans – and I really hope there aren’t any – you text me, okay?”