“What’s this?” I peered down the shaft.
“Just a white bounce board. For light.”
I pulled it out and it flapped out into a round circle that rippled in the wind. I aimed the board at his face, lighting up the shadows under his eyes. He batted his eyes at me, that smirk ever-present.
“Think that’ll make me good-looking?” he asked, untangling some cords.
I desperately thought of something smart to say. All I could think of was how damn good-looking he was. I was screwed.
He looked up from the cords with interest, goading me to say something.
“No,” I blurted out lamely.
He laughed and shook his head, turning his attention back to the cords. “I’m disappointed in you. Surely I thought you’d have come up with some grand insult.”
“I was trying,” I said. “And don’t call me Shirley.”
That smile again. It made my chest feel funny. Funny in a good way, which made it funny in a bad way. My brain rerouted to thoughts of his girlfriend. Damn her. Damn her and damn me for caring.
Dex put the cords neatly away and started fiddling with a camera. Without looking at me, he pointed to a long canvas bag.
“Tripod. Don’t take it out, though; just put in on your shoulder.”
I took the tripod bag and awkwardly tried to get the strap around me. It was almost longer than my body and kept hitting the ground and then hitting me in the face. Dex watched this uncomfortable dance with the tripod, which only made me feel more bumbling. Once I had it somewhat under control, he got up with a tiny remote microphone in his hand and stood in front of me.
“Shit, you are short, aren’t you?” he stated gleefully. He bent down and pinned the microphone onto my sweater. His face was mere inches away from mine. I didn’t dare breathe. I studied the bead on his eyebrow ring; it looked like black obsidian, with the tiniest scrolls of grey and white. My heart thumped in my throat. That rush of energy and warmth started creeping through my body again.
This was ridiculous. I needed to detach myself from the situation. Pronto.
“You’re short,” I shot back. “For a guy.”
He finished pinning the mic but kept his head at my level and looked into my eyes. For a split second I wondered if he was going to kiss me (of course, he wasn’t) and I immediately felt awkward. I swallowed hard. He held my gaze intently and his mouth lagged into an easy leer, like he was enjoying making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, I wouldn’t let him. I narrowed my eyes at him, breaking the spell. “What are you looking at?”
It didn’t phase him but he did straighten up and look away.
“Oh, me? I’m just seeing what I’m working with here,” he said casually, and pulled a bigger camera out of its bag.
“And what is that, exactly?” I asked, steadying myself against a gust of wind.
“I don’t think I’ll find out anytime soon.” He picked up the white board and shut the trunk. “Shall we?”
I nodded and we walked off toward the beach. It wasn’t until I was a few feet behind him that I let out a long breath. It’s like I’d forgotten to breathe for the last ten minutes.
***
We didn’t head to the lighthouse right away. Dex thought it would be best to film some opening shots out where it was scenic.
I stood on the beach facing north toward him. The lighthouse sat potently in the background. Dex had originally wanted a shot of the ocean crashing wildly behind me but the amount of sea spray that was whipped in the air was damaging to the camera, not to mention the fact that it blew my hair out in front of me. It took two seconds to realize I couldn’t be a good host if I was Cousin It.
The white board was placed on an angle at my feet. I had my Chucks on top of them to keep the board from flying away, but thankfully, he was only shooting from the waist up. Like my fat ass needed to be on film anyway.
Dex set up the tripod as a precautionary measure to keep the camera steady as the wind gusts threatened to blow him over.
“Thank f**k I brought the wireless mics; otherwise we wouldn’t be hearing shit right now,” he grunted, his eyes fastened on the camera’s viewscreen.
He seemed to grow tyrannical when he had the camera in front of his face. I did what he said and tried to go with the flow but I could see his mind going a mile a minute, his eyes searching all physicalities of the space in front of him. He reminded me of a mad scientist.
He pulled the focus back and forth, making miniscule adjustments, keenly watching the screen. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, or at, precisely. I just hoped he didn’t have it zoomed all the way up my nose.
I sighed and looked at the ocean. I didn’t feel the familiar ebb and flow of emotions as I usually did when I stood on the beach. Today the ocean was a stranger. Cold, rough, and ready to take me out. As the waves sucked back, they grasped the wet sand like desperate fingers, reaching for me.
“Stay there,” Dex said, his voice quiet. “Don’t move.”
I tried to stay where I was, staring at the ocean.
“What were you thinking about?” he asked with interest.
I wanted to turn and look at him. “Nothing.”
“You think too much.”
“You’re telling me,” I said. “Can I move yet?”
“Fuck, do whatever you like. Moment’s lost.”
I looked over at him. He straightened up and stretched his arms above his head. His shirt raised up a bit and exposed a flat stomach with a thin trail of stomach hair that disappeared into the band of his boxers. I looked away before he could catch me staring.
“Sorry,” I told him. “Well what now?”
He sighed, long and exaggerated. He clasped his palms together and stared at me like he had at the car earlier; he gazed right through me. I shivered. I’m pretty sure it was because of the cold and not because I found his eyes disquieting at times.
They moved from looking through me to looking at me. They relaxed considerably. He cocked his head to the side. “Did you bring something warmer to wear? Do you want my hoodie?”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. But thanks.”
He watched me for a few seconds as if to verify that I wasn’t lying. “Am I giving you the creeps?”
I let out a nervous laugh. Normally I would have just said anything to make the other person feel better, but with Dex I discovered that being straight with him was the only way to go.