We had gone straight up to the upper deck of the nearly–empty boat because he wanted to have a cigarette. At least I thought it was just one. He leaned against the railing, looking down at the waves that flowed past the ferry in a foam–filled rage and lit up one cigarette after the other.
The wind cleared the cobwebs from my face and messed the hair off of his head. He was only wearing a black hoodie with his camouflage pants below, but he didn’t seem the slightest bit cold even though the breeze was a lot sharper than I had expected. Actually, I was borderline freezing and knew my nose was an acute shade of red.
But I stayed up there with him, soaking in the ocean air and enjoying the glaring sunshine and his quiet company. Dex did seem a little more pensive than usual but that was coupled with bags under his eyes and an ashy complexion. I kept it to myself, but it was obvious he hadn’t slept all that much. Perhaps the stripper giving me a lap dance was a powerful stimulant. At least, I kind of hoped it was. Still, there was something off about him last night too.
“How’s your new medication doing?” I asked. I was probably overstepping my boundaries but I was curious.
He didn’t bite. He just shrugged. “It works.”
He took a long drag of his cigarette, the ashes flying off into the wind and flowing down the length of the ferry deck. His hands were shaking slightly.
“I didn’t see you smoke a single cigarette yesterday,” I said, eyeing his trembling fingers.
He shrugged, again. “It comes and goes.”
I wanted to say that constantly eating Nicorette like it was candy wasn’t helping his quitting case but who was he kidding? He wasn’t trying to quit; this was just what he did. Sometimes there really was no reason – it was a hard concept for me to accept.
Maybe he knew what I was thinking because his eyes darted over to me. “What now?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly and turned my attention to the sharp mountains of Vancouver Island that rose in the incoming distance. “At least the day is turning out nice.”
“Are you worried about me?” he asked, his voice noncommittal. It caught me a bit off guard, enough so that I had to look at him.
The line between his brows deepened, from thought and from the glare. We both were without sunglasses. It was one of those things you forgot about needing in the Pacific Northwest. He didn’t seem angry or upset, or even really curious. I had to think about whether I wanted to tell the truth or not. The truth was so…iffy.
“Well,” I said, drawing it out. “I think I always worry about you. And I think you know that by now.”
“No, I mean, are you worried about being with me,” he said, straightening up and flicking the cigarette overboard, even though there was a cigarette disposal unit behind us. “On this island. Alone. With me.”
“Why would that worry me? Also, it’s a park, there will be people there.” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
He shook his head with a small smile. “You’ve seen how empty this ferry is. You really think people go camping in November? In Canada? To some hostile island? The place is barely occupied during the summer.”
I hadn’t thought about that. In my head I was expecting a full campground with other people there to keep us company. I didn’t think we’d actually be the only ones on the island.
“Isn’t there a ranger on the island or something?”
“No. That’s why Bill said to call him up on the damn radio if something went wrong. It’s just going to be you and me, kiddo.”
It didn’t seem like a big deal, really, but I guess it was the first time we would be alone alone…with no Maximus or Uncle Al meddling in our business. But still…
“I don’t know why you think I’d have a problem being alone with you. I trust you more than anyone,” I said truthfully. Honestly, the only thing that worried me now was the damn inappropriate ideas I kept getting in my head, all thanks to Ada’s incessant texting about Dex and I possibly having sex. Maybe these thoughts ran in the family.
He watched me for a few beats like he was trying to pick out exactly what I was thinking. I knew I was probably blushing but hoped the chilly wind was doing a good job of disguising that.
“I don’t know. Figured you probably thought I was a…what was it? A pervy weirdo, after last night.” He said it so sincerely that I had to laugh.
“I liked that side of you.” Oh dear. That totally came out wrong. “Or…I mean, I liked–”
“No, don’t cover it up,” he said, placing his finger on my lips. His smile was sweet, almost sad.
I waited for him to take his tobacco-scented finger away before I said, “I had fun last night. You’re just a man, Dex, that’s what I got out of it, and it was a bit of a relief, to be honest.”
“Good,” he said, fishing out his pack. “This morning I couldn’t really remember what happened, thought maybe I scared you more than I wanted to.”
I reached over and put my hand over his, closing it over the pack. “Ease up, OK? You’ve had like five in a row. If I have any reason to be worried about you, it’s because of that. Not because you got a stripper to give me a lap dance.”
He sucked on his lip and thought it over. Then he put the pack away in his jacket pocket.
“You did enjoy that lap dance, didn’t you?”
“It was eye–opening.”
“You’ve never been with a woman before?”
I burst into nervous giggles. “What? No, of course not. Have you been with a man? No wait, I don’t want to know. Don’t answer that.” Nothing would have surprised me but I definitely did not need that mental image.
He raised his brows. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said. “Do you want to go inside? I’m freezing my ass off.”
He opened his mouth to say something with that familiar glint in his eye, so I added teasingly, “Don’t you dare say anything about my ass.”
“Wow. No cigarettes and no compliments. You run a tight ship, Perry Palomino.”
Dex knew he was the chief operator in our whole operation, but I just nodded. I had to take what I could get, while I could get it.
After the ferry docked, we drove off onto the long, tree–filled expanse of Vancouver Island and down the winding road towards the city of Victoria. As we neared the town of Saanich, we had glimpses of various islands floating out in Haro Strait. I couldn’t figure out which one was D’Arcy Island but we’d know soon enough.