“Why not?” I asked. “Why not? Why not for you? Why do I have to?!”
“You don’t understand,” he said, trying to move his head out of my grasp. I grabbed his hair tighter and held him in place.
“Tell me then!”
His eyes darted around, trying desperately to not meet with mine. He was going to lie, I knew it.
“I…I know her.”
I wasn’t expecting that. I let my hands drop off of his head.
“What?”
“This is not a good sign, Perry. This is not a good sign,” he said. His eyes were watering. His low voice quavered. He looked so lost, so small, so helpless and afraid.
I stepped closer again and brought my hands around his shoulders and brought his head down into the nook of my neck. I held him for a few moments, feeling his cold skin against mine, his breath as he exhaled slowly. Eventually he took his arms and wrapped them around me, holding me so tight it almost took my own breath away. My insides felt like they were mourning, for him and for whatever pain he was going through. And if I had anything to do with it.
“It’s Abby,” he said after a few minutes, speaking the words into my neck in wet bursts.
“Your…ex…your old girlfriend Abby?”
He nodded.
Oh boy. That was a f**king doozey. It explained so much. His ex had died in college after a fight with Dex. She had been cheating on him, Dex went over and they fought. Then she locked herself in the bathroom with a bottle of gin, escaped through the window and drove away. And then ended up being another victim of drunk driving.
And here she was, suddenly haunting Dex. But why now? Why now that I was in the picture?
“Dex…why do you think this is happening now? Has it happened before?”
He relaxed a bit in his grip but still held me in an embrace. I wasn’t about to let him go, so this was fine with me.
“No. I mean…” He brought his head away from my neck so he could talk properly. Our mouths were still only a few inches apart. He rested his forehead against me and kept his eyes closed. “Last time I saw her…was after she had died. She…well, she was everywhere I was. And it drove me insane. And I guess with my past…it was too much. And that’s how I got in the institute.”
“She literally drove you insane?” I asked, voice low, conscious of how close our mouths were.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “Just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
I thought about that and tried to figure out what to do next. What was there to do? She was a ghost and like it or not, we were both seeing her.
“Did she try to harm you before?” I asked.
He sighed and straightened up, breaking up the closeness of our embrace. He looked around him at the dark alley.
“Not exactly,” he said. “But I never gave her the chance.”
“How did you get rid of her?”
“Medication,” he said. “Therapy. Whatever they did to me.”
At the mention of his medication, I swallowed hard and looked straight forward at his chest.
I debated on saying anything for a while. I didn’t want to make him suspicious. I already had a feeling he’d go home and check his meds, which meant I could easily be busted if I wasn’t fast and careful. In the end I couldn’t figure out what to say. So I just gave him a small smile.
“You’ll be OK, Dex,” I said. I was so close to leaning in an inch and kissing him delicately on the lips. Very close.
“Will I?” he breathed back, his frantic eyes powering down with a wash of passion.
I was starting to feel competing feelings of lust rise up throughout my body. It frightened me enough that I had to pull back. I let go of his back and looked away, back up at the end of the alley. Abby was still gone.
“Look, I know this is hard for you,” I said, finding my breath hard to control. “But at least we both see her. We’re not crazy. You shouldn’t have even been on any of those medications anyway, or in therapy. You can’t cure ghosts with doctors and pills.”
“Can’t you?” he asked.
I looked at him sharply, expecting him to be vindictive. But he still looked alone and cold, which melted my heart again. I reached for his hand and held it in mine.
Dex, I love you. That’s what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that and confess my sins of what I did to him.
But of course, I didn’t do either of those things. I just gave his hand a squeeze and said, “I’m in this with you, you know that.”
He nodded and fished a piece of Nicorette out of his pocket. “I really wish we could just go back home and be alone.”
Be alone? I was unable to hide the shocked look on my face.
He caught the expression and shot me a sly grin as he popped the gum in his mouth.
“Don’t worry, kiddo. I just meant I’d rather be with you and not with any of these f**ks that Jenn wants us to eat with.”
“I thought they were your mutual friends,” I said, crossing my arms.
“I said this was a compromise, didn’t I?” he said.
“So what do we do? Go eat or go home?”
He sighed and stepped away from the wall, shooting an anxious glance up and down the alley.
“Am I fit enough to go for dinner?” he asked.
I looked him over with a discerning eye. Of course everyone looked garish under streetlights in a dirty alley, but he looked OK. Eyes were less bloodshot and his hair was sexily messy thanks to my handiwork.
“Show me your ass,” I said to him, turning him around with my hands.
“Perry,” he admonished in fake shock but he let me twirl him. The back of his pants were all wet from sitting on the ground but luckily his black cargo jacket was long enough to cover most of it. He had quite the perky butt, which helped.
“I think you’ll pass,” I admitted. “I don’t know what Jenn’s going to think…”
“Who cares,” he said with a shrug and straightened up his collar.
“As long as you don’t,” I said sternly.
“I’ll be OK,” he said. He took a step forward, trying to walk away but I grabbed him and brought him closer to me. He was taken aback at my gruffness.
“You’re not allowed to lie to me anymore, you got it?” I said. “You tell me everything that’s going on. The next time you see Abby, you tell me, just as I would tell you. Just as I have told you. We’re in the same boat now. I don’t know what the f**k she’s doing here or what she wants, but it’s something and I don’t think she’s going to go away until she gets it. You…me, we both have to be prepared for this. Got it?”