Alec kneeled before me and took my shaking hands in his.
“Your brothers appear after that, and they blame me for your death. They accuse me of lettin' you die because I didn't love you. They... attack me then I switch and end up in the centre of Darkness in front of Marco. His hands are covered in blood, and I think he is the one to cover the hallway walls in blood. You brothers hold me down and tell Marco to kill me for not savin' you. I look up and Marco is gone, the shadow figure is there, but it's not just a shadow figure anymore it's me. The terror is me, I shoot myself in the head and then I wake up.”
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to Alec's.
“I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Do you understand me?” Alec asked.
I nodded my head.
“Tell me you understand,” he said, his voice firm.
“I understand,” I whispered.
He let go of my hands and cupped my face. “We're going to get you help for this. We aren't going to brush it under the carpet. This can be helped.”
I nodded my head. “Okay,” I whispered.
Alec sighed and kissed my head. “I wish I knew you were having nightmares, I wouldn't have rushed you into moving in here so quickly.”
I blinked. “Do you mean that?” I asked.
Alec furrowed his eyebrows. “That I wouldn't have rushed you?”
I nodded.
“Of course I wouldn't have.”
I opened my mind then and said, “You wouldn't rush me... with anythin' else then would you?”
“No, I wouldn't,” Alec said, a perplexed expression on his face.
“Okay,” I said, breathing easier.
Alec focused his eyes on mine. “What's on your mind? Why are you asking these questions?”
This was it.
This was the opportunity to tell Alec my feelings.
I didn't even hesitate, I looked him in the eye and said, “I don't want to get married.”
Everything stopped as I waited for Alec's reply.
My breathing.
My heartbeat.
Time.
“What... what do you mean you don't want to get married?” Alec asked me, his face a few shades paler than usual.
I shook my head. “I didn't mean not at all, I meant I don't want to get married right now. I want us to slow down.”
Alec blinked. “You want us to slow down?”
I nodded my head.
Alec was silent for a moment then he said, “Okay.”
I opened my mouth to apologise to him, but when what he said registered with my brain I froze.
“O-Okay?” I repeated.
Alec nodded. “Yeah, okay. If you want us to pull back a little that's cool, we have the rest of our lives to get married, have kids, and do a bunch of other things.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
“I thought you would be upset with me,” I admitted.
Alec laughed. “Just because I'm ready right now to take my vows and have a handful of mini me's doesn't mean you are, and that's okay.”
It was?
“So you don't hate me?” I asked, my eyes filling with tears.
Alec laughed again. “No. I love you, stupid.”
I laughed and my heart warmed.
“I love you too, more than me life. I don't want this to make you feel—”
“Kitten,” he cut me off. “I know you love me, you don't have to question if I know that. I know.”
I didn't know what to say.
I was not expecting this conversation to go like this.
“I... I just can't believe you aren't angry with me.”
Alec leaned in and rubbed his nose against mine. “I have you. I have your heart. I'll have everything else with you in time—there is no rush. None.”
I pressed my forehead to his. “I adore your love for me, I cherish it. I cherish you.”
Alec smiled. “I know, Kitten.”
I closed my eyes and just felt our love surround us.
After a moment Alec asked, “How long has this been bothering you?”
I thought on it then opened my eyes and said, “Ages.”
Alec shook his head. “You really need to stop overthinking things. That has to be a woman thing.”
I surprisingly laughed.
Alec got up and sat on our new bed and put his arm over my shoulder. “We can go back to the apartment if you want. I realise now that everything I have been doing was overwhelming you, and I want to make it right.”
God, he was perfect.
I leaned into him and said, “If you asked me that this mornin' I would have jumped at the chance, but now? Not so much. I'm so relieved after our talk, and being here with you doesn't scare me anymore... it excites me.”
Alec squeezed me. “Are you sure?”
I nodded my head.
“I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant,” I teased.
Alec laughed and kissed my head.
I remained next to him for a few minutes until a knock rapped on the bedroom door.
“Come in,” I called out.
The door opened and Nico's head popped around the door. “Everything okay?” he asked.
Alec and I nodded.
“Great.” He smiled, then dropped it. “Alec, we need you to come and help us with something.”
I wondered what 'something' was, and so did Alec.
“Can't you just—”
“Alec,” Nico cut him off, and gave him a stern look.
The look was code for something.
“Sure. I'll help,” Alec said then turned to me. “You're okay, right?”
I nodded my head.
After getting everything off my chest and clearing the air I was so okay.
Alec left our room with Nico, and I went in search of the girls. I called out to them, and found them in the sitting room, with glasses in their hands. Bronagh was in the middle of cracking open a bottle of wine.
“Don't drink until we're back!” Nico's voice shouted then the front door slammed shut.
Bronagh ignored him and poured wine into the glasses extended to her.
“Where are they goin'?” I asked the girls.
They all shrugged. “No clue,” Branna said. “You doin' okay?”
I nodded my head. “Much better.”
Bronagh howled, “Park your arse and grab a glass, we're havin' a housewarmin' party even if it's just the four of us.”