Sighing, I sat next to Mamma on the bed and smiled the memory of how stubborn Lexi had been when I told her to go home. “I needed to pick up your meds and for that, I needed a car. She had one, but she wouldn’t let me come alone.”
Mamma’s lip twitched in amusement. “Ah, mio caro… she has… stolen your heart.”
I went to argue, oddly feeling like the defense would be a betrayal to my Pix, but Mamma closed her eyes and attempted to shake her head.
“I… do not need… to hear… your answer to… know this… is true.” Her eyelids fluttered open and what looked like happiness shone through and sent shivers all along my skin. “You are my… son… flesh of… my flesh… a part of your… soul… lives… within me.” Mamma weakly lifted her hand and placed it over her heart. “I feel the… change… in you. You are… free… with her…” Mamma took a long, deep breath and added, “It brings… life… a peace to… my heart.”
“Mamma—” I set to speak, but she dropped her hand on mine.
“Tesoro, Austin… Lei è un… tesoro. A blessed… treasure from the heavens… made just for… you…”
Casting a quick look back at the partly open bedroom door, I faced Mamma again and whispered, “She has problems, Mamma. Real bad issues with herself. I like her… a lot—I admit that—but have no idea how to deal with it, with her. If I’m being honest, it scares the shit outta me. It has her in its grip.”
Mamma sighed and looked out the window, deep in thought. She’d been doing that a lot lately, as if she were cherishing the world, committing the view to memory.
“I see her issue, Austin… I am a… woman… I see what… others may not. She sees… no beauty in… herself…”
I dropped my head and felt real fear at that. I didn’t want her to have problems with how she looked.
She’s beautiful.
Mamma cleared her throat, awkwardly leaned forward, and said, “We all have… secrets. Secrets well buried. Until we… find the one soul who… makes the burden… of such… secrets just that little bit… easier to… to… to bear.”
Mamma’s breathing was becoming labored, so I took the pain meds once more and implored her with a stern look to open her mouth. But just before she did, she whispered, “If you love her right… that love… will heal her… but do not… destroy her… mio caro. If you give that love… then take it away, it… will be something she will never get past…”
A single tear dropped from Mamma’s eye, and my chest felt so tight I thought my lungs had shut down. Mamma was referring to my daddy. Luca Carillo had destroyed her over the years, but she still loved him fiercely. She didn’t want me to become my daddy with Lexi. She wanted me to be the one to heal my Pix, not destroy her.
Eventually doing as I asked, Mamma let the pills dissolve under her tongue, and the entire time her dark eyes watched my face.
“Axe! You know what this means. We gotta bring him in. Bring everyone we got. It’s f**kin’ war, fratello. We gotta protect our turf. We lose that, we lose all our green, and I know what that means for you Carillo boys.”
“Caspico, Gio.”
“Hey, Axe, you been liftin’ cars again? Where’d this piece of shit Prius come from?”
Voices sounded loudly outside the trailer. I quickly began tucking Mamma in, when her hand gripped my arm. “You go… Do not let… Levi deal with… them…”
Nodding, I stood to exit the room, when Mamma said, “Send… her in… I wish… to talk to your… folletto.”
That stilled me, and I looked out into the living room, Levi talking shyly to Lexi and her beaming so big back at him. The kid was already in love with her; I could tell by his returning dopey grin.
“Perchè?” I asked Mamma, still watching the beautiful girl who was stealing my heart, making my baby brother feel wanted… cherished.
“Austin, mio caro… send… her in… It is between me… and your tesoro…”
Slightly nervous at what could be said in my absence, I walked into the living room to see Lexi helping Levi with what looked like math homework. Just as I reached the small coffee table they were crouched around, I flicked my head to get her to come to me.
“So complete questions three and four, and I’ll check if they’re correct in just a minute. I’ll be back.”
Lexi stood and began walking to me. Levi turned bright red at my knowing expression and occupied himself with working out his algebra.
Taking Lexi’s hand, I pulled her into the kitchen, way out of sight. Before she had time to ask questions, I cupped her cheeks with my hands and pulled her face closer and pressed my lips against hers.
A breathy whimper escaped her mouth and her tiny hands gripped tight onto my shirt. As soon as that tongue of hers peeked through her lips and into my mouth, I lost it. Turning Lexi around, I pushed her up against the counter and groaned as her arms skirted along my back, causing my crotch to push against hers. My c**k was hard, and I could feel Lexi’s body heat pouring off her in waves.
As the seconds passed, Lexi’s inexperienced body began to relax, getting more into my touch. When her hands slipped up and threaded into my hair, I was no longer thinking straight and wrapped my arms around her back, slamming her tight body up against my chest until it was flush with mine.
As a huge crack of thunder shook the foundations of the trailer, Lexi stilled as though she’d been shot. Her lips suddenly froze on mine and her hands slipped from my hair. Her whimpers came harder now, and through the sex-crazed fog that was clouding up all rational thought, I thought they were a sign of pleasure, until I felt the wetness on her cheeks.
As I pulled back, I realized silent tears were tumbling down Lexi’s cheeks. Her pale-green eyes had turned vacant, and my blood ran cold.
She was in her dark place, zoning the f**k out on me again.
As I went to withdraw from our embrace, it took me a moment to realize where my hands were: flat to her back, my thumb unconsciously rubbing at her spine.
Shit!
Ripping my arms away and holding them in the air, I hissed, “Pix? Pix! Come back to me. I’m off you. Just come back to me.”