she said with open disgust and Jamie tried not to wince, but she couldn’t help it.
Well aware of the man beside her, Jamie turned as far as she could away from him, almost huddling into herself as she quickly explained, “They’re not erotic novels, mom.”
“Don’t you dare lie to me, young lady. I flipped through one of those horrible books that you write and I found inappropriate material in it! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was? Do you even care that you’ve humiliated your poor sister, hmm?”
“I-” she started to explain, but of course her mother cut her off.
“I cannot believe this is how you wasted the college education we provided for you! Do you have any idea how hard your father worked to send you to college and this is how you repay him?” she demanded and it took everything she had not to remind her mother that they hadn’t paid a cent for her college education. That was Caitlyn and she hadn’t even bothered to graduate or really attend for that matter.
By the time it was her turn to go to college her parents told her there was no money for her because they had used up all the money they set aside for Caitlyn to “find herself.” When she flunked out of three private, expensive, colleges her parents decided that Caitlyn had worked too hard and simply needed time off which they paid for. Jamie on the other hand had worked her butt off and put herself through college. She graduated top of her class and never regretted one second of it because that experience showed her that she could do anything even if no one else thought that she could.
“I cannot believe you pulled this petty juvenile stunt. Was it for attention or just to embarrass your sister? Are you really that petty that you can’t be happy for your sister? You really felt it was necessary to humiliate her like this?”
“Mom, this has nothing to do with-hey!” she gasped, startled when her phone was suddenly yanked from her hand. She turned around in time to see Nick end the call and shut the phone off before he tossed it onto the backseat.
“You just hung up on my mother,” she said, more shocked than anything.
“I know.”
“She’s going to be mad,” Jamie said, worrying her bottom lip even as her stomach coiled tightly in guilt.
It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been the one to hang up or that she hadn’t done anything wrong, she still felt guilty. Her mother always made her feel bad about everything. When she was a kid it was so much worse because she truly believed everything her mother said. She’d become so racked up with guilt that she’d end up making herself sick. When she moved out things slowly got a little bit better and she realized that her mother was laying everything at her feet even things that she had no control over and hadn’t done.
Unfortunately knowing that her mother overreacted didn’t help her stomach.
She couldn’t shove away the sense of dread over what her mother would do now.
Would she leave messages of her crying? Give Jamie the silent treatment? She wasn’t sure what passive aggressive nonsense her mother had in store for her and really shouldn’t care, but she did. She couldn’t help it.
“Do you want to go see if we can rent a bike and hit the road for a few hours?”
Nick asked.
She gave him a forced small smile as she shook her head and murmured, “No, thank you.” Even though she’d rather do that than sit in her room feeling guilty she couldn’t. She hated when her mother was mad at her, probably because it felt like another rejection. She knew her mother had too much power over her, but she couldn’t help it. Maybe by the end of this tour she’d figure out how to deal with her, but it hadn’t happened yet.
A few minutes later they were in the hotel lobby waiting for the elevator when Nick reached over and took her hand into his and gave it a small squeeze before letting it go, startling her. She looked up at him to find him scowling down at her. Great another person she’d pissed off. This day was just getting better and better, she thought.
“There’s nothing wrong with your books, Jamie. They’re great. They’re not trash and they’re certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t know what’s going on in your family, but I can guarantee you that you didn’t embarrass your family. If anything your mother and sister are probably jealous,” he said with a shrug as if what he just suggested wasn’t ludicrous. Her mother and sister would never be jealous of her. They were beautiful, popular, and married while she barely had anyone that she would consider a real friend, kind of okay looking now and didn’t even have a man interested in her.
Still…….
“Why do you think they’re jealous?” she found herself asking.
Nick simply shrugged as he gestured for her to step into the elevator before him. “I know women,” he simply said and she found that she couldn’t really argue that point, but sadly it didn’t really clear the matter up for her.
“Meaning?” she prompted when he didn’t add anything else.
“Meaning,” he said as he pressed the button for the fifth floor, “that she wouldn’t be making a huge deal out of this if she wasn’t jealous. For whatever reason your mother and sister are too petty to be happy for you. They’re upset about the amount of attention that you’re getting so they’re trying to tear you down a bit to make themselves feel better,” Nick said, stepping out of the elevator next to her as she thought that over.
Was it possible? she wondered as she walked past Nick’s door and pulled out her keycard. It did seem that they acted this way every time anything good happened for her. They also went well out of their way to make her feel bad for it and did whatever they could to shine the light back on themselves. Not that she cared. She really didn’t like attention, especially all the attention that she was receiving on this tour. The only reason she was sticking it out and not running for the hills was her contract and the “List.”
Well, both lists.
Thanks to this tour she was trying new things and learning about herself.
She’d worked really hard to get to this point and maybe, just maybe it was time to stop allowing her family to make her feel like garbage. Maybe she should…..should…..
Her thoughts kind of drifted off as her brain registered the feel of Nick’s mouth on hers. As she tried to figure out what was happening he reached up and gently cupped her face in his large hands. His lips moved tenderly against hers and she couldn’t help but relax against him. The kiss was tender, sweet and did funny things to her stomach and it was also perfect. She honestly could not have hoped for a better first kiss.
He pressed one last kiss against her lips before pulling back. She opened her mouth to say something only to find her mouth covered with his again, this time with a pained groan that had her toes curling.
“Don’t let them bring you down, Jamie,” he whispered against her lips before pulling back.
“What was that for?” she asked in a daze as she fought against the urge to throw herself at him for another kiss.
“Now you don’t have to worry about going out tonight for a kiss. Go relax, take a hot bath and get some work done,” he said, taking the keycard out of her hand and opening the door for her and giving her a gentle shove inside the room before closing the door and leaving her slightly confused.
It didn’t take long to figure out that he’d done that to get her mind off of her family drama. It was kind of sweet, but the fact that it had been done out of pity and probably to get her to focus back on work kind of spoiled it, but not enough to stop her from smiling as she went about doing exactly what he asked her to do.
Chapter 13
This was sure to be an awkward moment, Nick decided as he stood outside of Jamie’s door. What the hell had he been thinking last night? He had no business kissing her, but even knowing that he couldn’t force himself to regret doing it. As much as he would love to say that he did it for her, he knew the kiss had been for him.
All day yesterday he’d struggled against the urge to reach out and touch her, hold her and kiss her and when she looked so damn miserable standing in front of her room yesterday he couldn’t help himself. He’d kissed her. It wasn’t wild or out of control, but it had been the most pleasurable kiss of his life. The kiss had been simple and controlled, but still managed to leave him hard and aching for her.
He’d shocked even himself by walking away from her last night when everything in him screamed to take her to bed. It would have been easy. She was desperate to lose her virginity and for the first time in his life he was more than eager to take it. He’d never wanted a virgin before her, but he wanted her. He wanted to be the first man to touch her, taste her and take her until she could barely scream his name and that was why he walked away from her.
Jamie was not the screw and leave kind of woman. She was the type of woman any man, besides him, could happily do forever with. She might think that she can handle ha**ng s*x with a man and never see him again, but he knew her well enough by now to know that wasn’t the case. She might be able to go through with sleeping with a man she didn’t know the first time, but he knew the moment it ended she would be racked with guilt. If the guilt that she slept with a guy didn’t get to her then the loneliness afterwards would.
This type of life wasn’t for her. She needed to wait for a guy that loved her and wanted to take care of her. Wasting her virginity on some loser she met at a bar was only going to cause her pain. He couldn’t let her do this and it had nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t like the idea of another man touching her.
He knew he was just worried about her because he felt responsible for her in a way and that was why he didn’t like the idea of some ass**le touching her. It had nothing to do with jealousy because he didn’t get jealous. When she announced that she was going to hit a bar last night to get that first kiss and he wanted to put his fist through something it was because he didn’t want to see her hurt.
It was his job after all to make sure that she was safe. He had no problem teaching her about sex, especially if it kept from doing something stupid like trust some ass**le. He’d teach her and discourage her from doing anything stupid. She was a timid little thing so he didn’t think it would take all that much to get her to stay clear of men while they were on tour. When they got back he would ask Dana if she knew any decent available men for his little recluse. Of course he would have to meet them first to make that they were good enough.
Before he could do any of that he was going to have to break her heart. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but it had to be done. There was no doubt in his mind that the little recluse probably thought that last night meant more than just a kiss between friends. She probably had her heart set on the two of them becoming involved, but that couldn’t happen. He didn’t do relationships and she shouldn’t accept anything less.
With a sigh he knocked on the door. He really had no idea how to do this without hurting her. He’d never cared before about letting a woman down, but his little recluse was his responsibility and he was surprised to realize that she was indeed becoming a good friend. Of course he’d let her down gently. It really was the least that he could do for her.
Jamie opened the door and he prepared himself for her tears, but all he got was a warm smile. Of course she’d be happy to see him, he realized, feeling like an idiot. She probably spent the entire night doodling his name all over her notebooks and imaging what their kids would look like. It was sad, cute, but sad.
“Hey, Nick,” she said, smiling. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”
He couldn’t help but sigh. Of course she was happy to see him. Maybe it would be best to quickly explain that last night’s kiss had meant nothing. Sure, he’d be destroying all her hopes and dreams, but it was for the best.
“I’m starving,” she said, walking past him as she pulled the door shut behind her. “I was just about to head downstairs and grab something to eat. Do you think that we have time to grab breakfast before the signing?” she asked as she headed for the elevator.
“I think we should talk about something first,” he said quietly as he tried to think of a way to break it to her without breaking her heart. Sadly, he just didn’t see any way around it. He was going to break her heart, but he’d do it quickly. It surprised him that he actually cared if he hurt her, but he figured that was because he genuinely cared about her, another surprise, but one that didn’t matter at the moment.
“Okay,” she said, pulling her beautiful strawberry blond hair up into a messy bun. “But can we talk while we walk? I’m starving,” she said, pressing the elevator button.
“It’s about last night,” he said as they stepped into the elevator. When she frowned up in adorable confusion at him he added, “About the kiss,” he said, knowing it was for the best to get it over with, but hating that he was about to hurt her. Maybe they should return to her room for this talk. He didn’t want his little recluse embarrassed when she broke out in tears.
“What about it?” she asked, looking so damn pretty at that moment that all he could think about was kissing her, but that would just send the wrong message.
“I just wanted to make sure that you understood why I did it,” he said, inwardly wincing when she smiled. Oh god, did she expect a declaration of love?
That would never happen. Maybe they should go upstairs after all, he thought just as the elevator doors opened to the lobby.
“I know why you did it and I should thank you. That was really sweet, Nick.
You’re a good friend,” she said, reaching out and giving his arm a quick squeeze.