She slowly shakes her head. “I prefer to keep to myself most of the time.”
I frown. I don’t like thinking of her as friendless. I hope that’s not the case. “Shy?”
Shrugging, she tilts her head to the side. “I guess. I don’t know. I’m always so busy you know? With school and wo—school. Lots of homework and stuff.”
Sounded like she was going to say work. Does she work? There’s no shame in that. Hell, I’d admire her for having a solid work ethic. I don’t have one beyond the gambling house and that was born out of pure greed.
Oh, and boredom. The main reason we started the gambling house was because we wanted something to do beyond going to class and playing the occasional game of soccer. There’s only so much partying and fucking girls that we can stand. Shep and Tristan grow bored easily. So do I. The difference is both of them will never really have to work a day in their lives and their fathers won’t force them to either.
Mine on the other hand, is forcing me to take over the family business, something I have zero interest in. Dad is in charge of the business, Mom’s in charge of finding me a wife. Those are their ultimate life goals. Me taking over the family company and marrying well, providing two point five children to my parents so they have a couple of kids to dote on and boom. It’s done.
It fucking sucks.
What sucks worse? How little I know about Lucy. She goes to school—but where? Where exactly does she live? And does she really have a job? So many questions, so many fine details I’d like to learn about her but she’s private. Even a little shut off. She wanted to keep this as light as possible and I’m respecting her wishes.
Despite how difficult it is for me to keep this light. I want more.
“Hey.” Lucy’s soft voice brings me out of my thoughts and I look down at her, offering her a smile. “You okay? You seemed a little lost in thought.”
I need to focus on what’s important tonight. The fact that my time with this girl is limited makes me anxious. Like I need to hold onto every single second we have together and make them perfect.
“I’m good.” I kiss her, reaching up to cup the side of her face, tracing her cheekbone with my finger. A soft sigh escapes her and her eyes flutter closed. I know she loves it when I touch her like that. She seems to love it when I touch her period. “How are you?”
Her eyes open and she smiles but it’s shaky at best. “I’m okay. Like I said, a little bit nervous.”
“Why?” I hold her face with both hands and lean in to kiss her, my lips lingering, as are hers. I don’t want her nervous, but I think I might know what’s making her feel that way.
And that sends a jolt of hope through my veins. I want her so fucking bad. I want to know every part of her. Meaning, I want to be her first.
But does she deem me worthy? This is after all, just a summer fling. She’s reminded me of that numerous times. Why would she give a guy she’ll never see again her virginity? It doesn’t make any sense.
Though I want that honor. Damn it, I want it. The way I feel about Lucy…I’ve never experienced this before with another girl. Ever. It’s always been about fun and quick satisfaction. I rarely dated a girl for a long period of time. Hell, two dates in a row is a long period of time for me. I just don’t do it. Why waste my time?
Not like I have the choice anyway. If people think arranged marriages don’t exist in this country, they haven’t met my parents. My future wife and our future marriage isn’t just a union of two people, it will be a business merger.
And that sucks balls, man. Talk about heartless. Sydney’s set up for the same thing and I hate that. She deserves someone who’ll love her.
So do I.
I realize Lucy still hasn’t answered me and I drop a kiss on her forehead, breathe deep her delicious scent. “Why are you nervous, Luce?”
She releases a shuddery breath. “Because tonight is special. One of our last nights together, Gabe, and I want to make it good.”
“It’s always good between us. Just having you with me makes it good.” I kiss her again, loving how easily she opens to me. All shyness is gone. She is open and adventurous and sometimes shockingly wild. I fucking love being with her like this.
“You are too sweet,” she says with a sigh.
“So are you.” I claim her mouth, not wanting to talk any longer. More like I want to show her how I feel and not tell her with a bunch of words she might interpret as meaningless. Not that they are, I mean every word I say but actions speak louder.
They always have.
“Let’s go to your room,” I tell her, taking her hand and leading her toward the staircase. “We can get naked and spend the night together.”
Lucy starts to laugh, a nervous titter that makes me think she could be seriously considering giving me her virginity. If that’s even a thing. Is that how it’s phrased? Hell, I don’t know how to act. What to say. I should accept it like the gift that it is. I know that.
This girl…she’s starting to mean everything to me.
More than I care to admit.
I’m shaking. Like, literally shaking and I take a deep breath to calm my frazzled nerves. Gabe’s acting like this is no big deal as he leads me up the stairs toward the room I’ve stayed in the entire summer. The room where Gabe and I have done numerous things to each other over and over again, all of them wonderful and dirty and exhilarating.
Who knew being so expressive, so free with my sexuality, would feel so damn good? I mean, I had a clue. I’m not totally ignorant. Sex is supposed to feel good. And when you’re with someone you care about it feels really good. But I was so wrapped up in fear from the constant lectures Mama gave me that anything to do with sex frightened me. I could kiss a guy. Let him grope me a little and then grope him a little in return but that was it. I wouldn’t allow myself to take it any further.