“No.” I want to shrink into the smallest ball possible and disappear. I keep my gaze fixed on the menu in front of me but the words are blurry. And I can feel him watching me, examining me bit by bit, feature by feature. What does he see? Or more important, does he like what he sees?
I’m almost scared to know the answer.
“Can I take your drink order?”
I almost faint with relief. Saved by our server. She reminds me of my grandma, with short graying hair and glasses, a friendly smile plastered on her face. “Just water please,” I say.
“Hey Barb, can I ask you a question?”
Oh, no. He knows our waitress by name? What in the world is he going to ask her? I stiffen my shoulders, bracing myself for what he’s about to say.
“Hit me with it, sugar.” Barb sounds amused but I can’t even look at her. Or him.
“Do you think my date is beautiful?”
“Oh my God,” I groan under my breath, holding the menu in front of my face.
“I love her hair,” Barb says sincerely. “Though I can’t see the rest of her, what with that menu hiding her face.”
“Come on, Jade. Don’t be shy,” Shep encourages.
I drop the menu onto the table, where it falls with a loud clatter, and I glare at him, wishing I could silence him with my eyes.
But it doesn’t work. He just grins at me, then looks up at Barb. “Even when she’s mad, she’s gorgeous.”
“Very pretty,” Barb agrees with a nod of approval. “Considering you don’t bring girls around here ever, I can finally say you have most excellent taste. Not that I’m surprised.”
Wait a minute. He doesn’t bring girls around here? Ever? I don’t understand.
“Thanks, Barb. And I’ll have a beer. You know what I like.”
She smiles and with a promise to be right back, scoots off. I watch her go, turning over what she said again and again. He doesn’t bring girls to this restaurant, yet he’s a frequent visitor since he knows the waitress. And she knows what type of beer he likes.
What in the world is going on?
“I always come here for lunch, usually with Gabe or my cousin Tristan,” Shep explains, like he can read my mind. “Barb owns the restaurant with her husband Jim.”
“Oh.” I nod and reopen my menu, deciding I need to get the shrimp basket and just be done with it. So it’s fried shrimp with fries. So it’ll be packed with a bazillion calories. So what. I’ll make Kelli go running with me tomorrow morning to make up for my pig out.
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He sounds sincere. I don’t know why he’s acting like this. Being so…
Nice.
That night when he caught me signaling to Joel, he’d been such a jerk. I gave him reason to be angry, I won’t deny that, but he’d been so smug, so rude. I could handle him then. Last night and earlier this afternoon too.
But now? With him offering up compliments and behaving like a gentleman? He’s throwing me off.
“Um, it’s okay.” I lift my head but thankfully this time he’s not looking at me. Which allows me to blatantly check him out. His head is bent, his golden brown hair falling over his forehead, his eyes cast down and I see that even his eyelashes are tipped with gold. Everything about him is gold, gold, gold. He’s gorgeous and rich and the epitome of the perfect golden boy and what the hell is he doing here with me when I am the farthest thing from perfect or golden.
“I can feel you staring at me,” he says, his head still bent but I see the smile stretch across his face. Makes me want to throw my menu at him.
Okay, fine. Not really.
“I’m mad at you,” I tell him.
He lifts his head, the smile fading. “Why?”
“Because you embarrassed me.”
“I was only speaking the truth. You’re going to have to get used to people telling you that you’re beautiful,” he says.
Like that’s going to happen all the time. I am nothing special. “I don’t even know if I can take what you say seriously. Everything’s like a big joke to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You always look like you’re ready to burst out laughing. Your life is so easy. Nothing bothers you. It must be nice.”
His eyes flicker with some unrecognizable emotion. Could that have possibly been…hurt? Anger? “You have no idea what you’re talking about. My life is the farthest thing from easy.”
My mouth goes dry and I return my focus to the menu even though I already know what I want. I feel like a jerk. He’s been nothing but nice to me tonight and I’ve been nothing but a jerk to him. I’ve probably blown my chance at another date with Shep, even though that was already blown the moment I agreed to go out with him.
He must hate me.
Why’d I have to get all serious on her? I’m annoying the shit out of myself, let alone Jade.
But she doesn’t know who I am or what my life is like. I get tired of everyone thinking I have it easy. I don’t. Dad is an asshole, Mom medicates herself to function and my sisters got their asses out of the house as fast as they could. I have no plans on going back either. I chose this college for a reason—it’s on the complete opposite coast of where my parents live.
Barb shows up and takes our order, shrimp baskets for the both of us. The moment she leaves Jade blurts out, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—upset you.”