God, what had she done? My thoughts roamed back to seeing her at headquarters. "She was carrying something, Ren. She went there for a reason. She had something covered in black."
Ren nodded slowly. "I know. Remember Merle mentioning some kind of crystal? David had one stored in a room on the third floor, among other weird shit. I don't know what the importance of the crystal is." He looked away, his shoulders rising with a deep breath. "David hasn't said what the hell it is, and I have no idea."
I thought about the room that David never allowed anyone in, but how had Val known it was there? To be honest, I'd forgotten about the crystal the moment I learned about halflings.
"I figured Merle might know, but I haven't . . . well, to be honest, I haven't really cared about that right now. I've only cared about you," he said, and my gaze drifted over him. His brows furrowed as he wrapped his hand around my left one and squeezed gently. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I want to kill her for doing that."
Yeah, I didn't want to hear that.
"You could've died and I—" He cut himself off, and when I reopened my eye, he was staring at the space near me, at the monitor. "I wouldn't know what to do."
My breath hitched. "I'm . . . I'm here." It sounded lame, but it was all I could say.
His gaze flicked to mine. "You are, but you should have never had to face the prince—any of that. What were you thinking?" He swallowed. "Going after him was like putting a loaded gun to your head."
"It was my duty."
He shook his head slowly. "It was suicidal. You're incredibly brave, Ivy. You're strong and courageous, but that was insane, and I wish you never had to face that."
I wished that too. My thoughts floated back to headquarters, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to walk in there again and not think about fighting the prince or what he said.
Halfling.
A shudder rolled through me. Did the prince think I was a halfling? There was no way—no way. An ancient had been near me when I bled before, but . . . but the prince had been right on me when he sensed it.
He'd tasted my blood.
"Hey, let's not talk about any of this." Ren brushed his lips across my temple. "Okay?"
But I had to ask. "Do you think she was compelled? Val?"
"I don't know, Ivy. It's possible, but . . ."
I suddenly wanted to cry. The likelihood of her being compelled was slim. Compulsions didn't last forever unless they were feeding on her, and if that was the case, she was probably already too far gone.
She was already gone.
Without asking, I knew orders to bring Val in had been placed by the Order, and it would be a dead or alive sort of thing. Mostly dead. Because other Order members would be gunning for her ass. Her betrayal hurt just as badly as the prince opening a can of whoop ass on me.
Ren swept his thumb over my hand, and I forced a smile even though it wasn't the most pleasant of all feelings. "How bad do I look?" I asked.
"You never looked better."
"You're such a liar. I can feel how much of a hot mess I am right now."
He raised my hand to his lips and kissed the center of my palm. "You're here. I don't care how you look. Not when I thought I'd lost you."
My heart expanded in my chest, and I almost—almost—said those three little words. Our gazes collided and held. "Did you think you'd get rid of me that easily?"
Ren smiled, showing off his dimples. "Honey, that's the last thing I ever want."
~
Sunday evening I was discharged from the hospital and was immediately whisked away to my apartment where I discovered that while I'd been out like a burnt out light bulb, Ren had actually checked in with Tink.
That alone almost sent me back to the hospital.
According to the hyped up brownie, Ren had stopped by daily, giving him updates and had not once been 'naked' or tried to kill him. When I looked at Ren, he'd actually looked embarrassed as if he'd been caught fraternizing with the enemy.
While my injuries could've been worse—should've been worse—I was exhausted and ended up spending most of Sunday through Tuesday in bed with both Ren and Tink catering to my every need, which was interesting to see those two sort of working together.
I had no idea how I was going to make up all the time I missed in class. Talking to my advisor was on my immediate to-do list once I didn't look like I shoved my face through a meat grinder.
Tuesday evening I'd migrated out to the living room. Ren sat at the end of the couch, and I was tucked between his legs, resting against his chest. I'd finally upgraded from soup to real food, which meant I'd devoured half a box of pralines while Tink forced us through a marathon of Harry Potter movies.
"Do you need to repeat every single line from the movie?" Ren asked at one point.
Tink huffed. "It increases the enjoyment of the film."
"Maybe for you, but not for the rest of the world," Ren muttered, and I smiled.
I ended up falling asleep there with Tink sitting on the other arm of the couch, and Ren with his arms looped carefully around me. Every night since I got out of the hospital Ren had stayed with me, and he'd been there when I woke up in the middle of the night, a scream echoing in my ears. And he'd been there to ease the terrors that plagued me in my sleep. I had no idea what I was dreaming about. Each time I woke, there were no images.