"Yeah, I guess it was naïve to think that I could be happy," Addy says.
"Addison," the Colonel interrupts. It's about time, I think. My father isn't the best parent, to put it mildly, but at least he has moments of non-assholery. "One thing that you'll learn in life is personal happiness is overrated."
"That's it?" I ask, not bothering to stifle my bitter laugh. "Happiness is overrated? That's your best advice? For Christ's sake, she's asking to go to public school, not talking about running off to live in a commune. It's not really that big of a deal."
"Stay out of this, Hendrix," the Colonel warns.
"Or what?" I ask. "You'll ship me off to military school again? Been there, done that, sir. News flash – the military academy doesn't want me back. So you're shit out of luck. You're stuck here with me."
"And clearly, you learned nothing from the experience," he says. He gives me a hard look. "As much as I prefer the Army, at least the Marines will instill some discipline in you."
I suck in a deep breath and glance at Addy. Please don't let her realize what he just said, I pray silently. I haven't told her. I keep meaning to tell her, but then I don't. It never seems like the right time to give someone that kind of news. She'll hate me.
Or maybe she won't give a shit, I think. Because she doesn't care and it's all in my head. That's my real fear.
Addy turns her head slowly to look at me. "The Marines," she says flatly. "What is he talking about?"
"Oh, your stepbrother is joining the Marines," Addy's mother says, dismissing me with a wave of her hand. "I thought you already knew. And anyway, I thought you might have another fit about public school. That's why I found you a private option. It's not a tutor, before you get all upset. It's an actual private option for children who have a lifestyle like ours."
I hear Addy's mother speaking, but her words don't sink into my brain. My head is swimming, and I'm just looking at Addy, who shakes her head slowly at me. "Addy," I start, as she stands up and throws her napkin down on her barely-touched steak. "I meant to tell – "
"Fuck you, Hendrix," she says, her voice steady and calm but I can see her eyes brimming with tears. "Fuck all of you."
"Addison Stone," her mother says. "That is inappropriate and –"
"Let her go," the Colonel says, his hand on his wife's arm. "Teenagers and their emotions."
"She's not emotional," I hiss. "Both of you are just assholes."
"Hendrix Cole," my father bellows. But his voice gets softer because I'm already walking away, walking after Addy, through the dining room and the hallway. I look for her in her bedroom and then the music room, even though I know she won't be there. I find her outside, walking across the yard, her back turned to me.
"Addy," I yell. She picks up speed when I call to her.
"Leave me alone, Hendrix."
I stomp through the grass, increasingly irritated with my father for dropping that little bombshell about me joining the Marines. I'm also irritated with myself for not telling her before. I should have just manned up and told her. "Addy, come on," I yell. "Stop and let me catch up."
"I'm not kidding, Hendrix." But she pauses, because she's at the edge of the property, and there's nowhere else to go beyond the set of trees, except down the ravine.
"Addy."
"Just go." She's facing away from me, her arms crossed in front of her, and I can't just fucking turn around and walk away.
I come up behind her, pull on her wrist, even though she tries to shrug me off, and I spin her around to face me. She looks down at the ground beside us, at anything but me. "I was going to tell you, Addy," I say. "I just...shit, I didn't know how."
"Why?" she asks, her voice cracking.
"I...just...couldn't come up with the right words, okay?" I say. "I kept looking for the right time, but it wasn't ever the right time."
"Family dinner was a perfect fucking time," she says. "Hearing it from your dad was just awesome."
"You've been gone, Addy," I say. "You were on tour and -- "
"You hate the military," she says, shaking her head. She looks at me with such sadness and disappointment that the ache in the pit of my stomach threatens to gnaw a gaping hole in it a mile wide. "Why?"
My grip is still tight on her wrist, and I want to grab her other hand. I can't touch her without wanting her. "I can't -- "
"Because you hate me more," she says, her jaw clenched. She's looking up at me, her eyes flashing. "That's what it is, isn't it? You've been mad at me ever since the road trip and you hate me for some reason, but you won't tell me and you're going to join the Marines and you can't leave. You just can't. And you can't fucking di --"
I know what she's going to say. She's going to say die. And I won't let her say it. I bring my mouth crashing down on hers, kissing her with everything I have. I'm only seventeen, going on eighteen in a few months, so I'm not supposed to have earth-shattering moments. I might be young, but I know enough about life to know when a moment is different from everything else that's ever happened before, or will likely ever happen in the future.