“If you want to go home, we can, honey,” Lucy said, but Angie shook her head.
“No, I want to play.”
“Awesome, how about we go get ready real quick and hit the ice?” Benji asked softly, and Lucy glanced over at him, surprised. For a big dude, he was gentle. Which was nice. Standing back up, which meant he was towering over them, he held out his hand, and Angie took it without hesitation. That surprised Lucy. Angie wasn’t one to trust so easily, but she seemed happy as she waved at Lucy while they walked toward the group of other little girls.
When Benji looked back at Lucy and he grinned, she narrowed her eyes at him. Yeah, he was good with kids, she’d give him that, but there was something else in his eyes. Almost like he thought he had won some underlying competition that she hadn’t even realized she was in with him.
That bothered her.
Angie may trust him and Lucy’s ovaries may think it was hot that he was good with her daughter, but she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him.
And with his size, it wouldn’t be far.
So she’d watch Benji Paxton…and not because he had a hot ass in those Assassins sweats.
Good Lord, she needed to get laid.
Holy shit.
Sinclair’s sister was fucking hot.
Looking back at her once more, he caught her watching him. When their eyes locked, he felt like he was really grinning. And not that awkward, fake, “I have no clue what I’m doing with my face” kind of grin, but a real one. It may have even reached his eyes. It was easy to do where she was concerned, it seemed, but she glared and then turned on those sexy nude heels before starting for the rink.
Well, then.
He watched her for a moment and saw her ass was encased in a snug black skirt that was so tight, he was sure she wasn’t wearing any underwear. She was wearing a thick purple jacket, and her brown hair was up in a twist, a little tattoo peeking out of the neck of her jacket. He wanted to get closer, check it out, but then he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from dropping his lips to that sexy, thin neck.
What in the hell?
What was wrong with him?
“Benji?”
Looking down at the miniature version of the spunky firecracker he just met, he smiled. “Sorry! Come on,” he said, hoping that Angie didn’t know he wanted to bang her mom. Wow, what? Good Lord, what was wrong with him?
Shaking his head free of his horndog thoughts, he brought Angie to where all the other little girls were getting ready. Parents were tying their kids’ skates and pulling jerseys down over their heads. Stopping for a second, he watched everyone, and then the slow, fiery ache started to burn in his chest.
He was supposed to be doing this with his daughter.
Closing his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath and let the pain eat him alive. If he hadn’t been an ungrateful jerk and had chosen his family over alcohol, then Ava and Leary would be here. They would have had this moment.
He would feel loved.
He would feel complete.
Fuck.
Opening his eyes because he could feel his little friend staring at him, he found that he was right. Angie was watching him, her eyes full of concern as she nodded to him. “You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry,” he said roughly before kneeling down in front of her. She sat down as he opened her bag, pushing back his own tears. He really hadn’t thought this through when he agreed to come help. He hadn’t realized how hard this would be for him. That the pain of the loss of his child would shake him to the core like it was at the moment. It just wasn’t fair. Why did addiction ruin lives? Why couldn’t he have fought it? Damn it.
When he noticed she was still watching him, he cleared his throat free of emotion and tried to smile. “Sorry, having a moment.”
“Are you sure you want to help me?”
He really smiled that time, reassuringly. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry. Just thinking about something.”
“What?” she asked with all the curiosity of a child.
A child he didn’t have anymore.
Swallowing hard around the lump in his throat, he said, “My daughter.”
Angie smiled. “Aw, she doesn’t play?”
“No, she doesn’t,” he said, his heart pounding in his chest. He’d like to think that she was in heaven. That there was a big rink in the clouds where she would play and she was happy with Ava. God, he hoped they were happy. “But, okay, let’s do this.”
Pushing thoughts of Leary away—not an easy feat—Benji reached for Angie’s skates as she took off her jacket. He then started tying them up, and together they got her ready quickly. She was funny and animated, but he knew she was nervous. He’d hoped to ease those worries, but it was hard when he was battling his own demons in his head. He still tried, though, and he knew that meant something. That little Angie, his new friend, was important to him. Not sure why, but she was, and he was going to do right by the little girl.
He was the replacement and all.
Before putting on her helmet, Benji noticed her stick wasn’t taped up. Reaching into his pocket for his roll of tape he had brought to retape his own stick, he grinned up at Angie. “All right, first things first—”
“You’re the realest?”
His grin grew at her quick thinking, and he couldn’t help but laugh. Nodding, he met her sweet, sassy gaze. She looked so much like her mother it was scary. They were two little twins, and of course, that made him curious about her father. Where was he? Why wasn’t he here? Benji wouldn’t have missed this for the world if he’d had the chance.