Except for the personal aspect. She’d always dated, always had a boyfriend going through school, but for some reason, it never worked. She never clicked with anyone because she would admit she was a little hard to deal with. She didn’t have the normal girl personality; she was ruined by her years of playing hockey with Karson and his friends. She was a little rough around the edges, had a mouth on her that would make a classy woman cry, and didn’t take shit from anyone. She was an act now, think later kind of girl, and that always seemed to get her in trouble.
Especially when Jordie put the moves on her.
She knew it was a bad idea, but she’d had a thing for Jordie Thomas since she was eighteen. The first time she’d met him was at Karson’s apartment when he was playing for the University of Wisconsin. Jordie was on his team; they weren’t roommates but still friends. And when she saw him, he was a clean-shaven young guy who made her heart race. She doubted he remembered the first time they met. He was drunk, but she’d never forget the way those dark eyes held hers, the way his mouth curved in the most sinful grin, or how his hand felt in hers. Ugh, she got tingles along her arm just thinking about it. But Karson must have known that the air was crackling around them because he quickly removed Kacey from the room and wouldn’t let her out of his room until the party was over, despite her protests.
She never got a chance to see Jordie again though. She and Karson both transferred to Chicago on full-ride scholarships, but she knew that Jordie and Karson had stayed friends. It wasn’t until they were both sent to the Assassins seven years later that Kacey saw him again. He came home for Christmas with Karson and, boy, had he changed. No longer the clean-shaven young guy, he was rugged, bulky, and oh so gorgeous. He had a beard growing, nothing like it was now, but it was thick then, and she’d never realized she had a thing for beards until that moment.
When he spoke to her, butterflies went nuts in her belly but she was completely comfortable around him. He made her laugh, made her feel pretty with only a look, and he appreciated her game. Anytime they all got together, they were outside smacking the puck around and it was great. She was feeling him and was sure he was feeling her, but she never acted on her desires and neither had he. Karson had told her that Jordie didn’t do relationships, and since that’s what Kacey wanted, she stayed clear, keeping him at arm’s length.
But that all changed when she was home for Thanksgiving last year. Karson and Lacey had just gotten married without telling anyone until afterward, Jordie had just suffered an injury, and she didn’t know why she gave in, but soon she was flat against the sink, taking it from behind. They had always flirted, but this time their flirting got out of hand and there was no saying no to him. She desired him. She was sure it wouldn’t happen again—one time and, bam, they were good. But then it wasn’t a one-time thing. It turned into an every-day thing. Then she was staying with him in Colorado, helping him with his PT, and being there on the nights he felt most alone. She was sure that she was his girlfriend, but he kept reminding her that they were just friends.
And somehow she still fell in love with him.
She had never been in full-out, head-over-heels, smack-dab-in-the-heart kind of love, but she was with him. How could she not be? He was everything she wanted and more, but for some reason, he wouldn’t recognize that. He didn’t see that he was sweet and had a good heart. He had been abused, hurt, had a bit of a drinking problem. And still knowing all that, she went in, heart wide open for him. She thought she could change him, fix him, make him love her, but she wasn’t enough. And then he completely stopped talking to her and that made the rejection even harder to swallow.
Blinking away the tears, she hated that she allowed him to still invade her thoughts, to continually break her heart over and over again. She just wanted to know why though. Had he found someone else? Was she honestly not enough for him? There were so many questions, but he didn’t give her any answers. He cut her out of his life and it wasn’t fair. She was there, holding his hand, holding him to keep him from drinking. He never admitted to having a problem, and maybe there wasn’t one, but that was the first thing he always went to when things got tough. Except, when he was with her, she was his drink.
But it wasn’t only about sex. It was real. It had to be.
Or at least she thought it had been.
Wiping her face free of the tears, she shook her head as she settled into her seat. No, it was only sex, and the sooner she accepted that, the sooner she’d get over him. It was coming up on seven months without any communication; he didn’t want her. Fine. There was someone out there for her. She just had to find him.
And she would.
“You got in late?”
Kacey looked up from her cup of coffee as her sister-in-law wobbled to the sink to wash some potatoes. Her growing belly pushed against the front of the cabinets, and Kacey couldn’t help grinning despite how dog-tired she was. She just couldn’t wait to meet her niece, to cuddle her and be her best friend. She’d always thought that Karson would have started earlier in making a family—he was always cut out to be a dad—but then he didn’t get Lacey back into his life until recently. Kacey had always known that Lacey was going to be her sister-in-law after meeting her almost nine years ago. She was everything that Karson needed, his other half, and they always just fit.
Kacey could still remember the first time she met Lacey. Karson was completely head over heels for her, his eyes glassy anytime she was near, and Kacey just knew her brother would marry no one but her. And man, Lacey was beautiful. She’d had short hair from when she was going through chemo back then, but now she had long, gorgeous blond hair that went to her butt. Her eyes were still the same beautiful green that was brought out by her long, dark lashes. She had gained weight only in her stomach, the rest of her thin and lean, and that drove Kacey crazy. Kacey was convinced when she had a kid, she’d blow up. She loved food more than life, and the thought of feeding two instead of one gave her the giggles. She could eat what she wanted and no one could say anything to her about it. She would be growing a life. And looking at Lacey, she realized she wanted that more than ever.