Her next words thrill me. “I don’t think you’re a bad guy, Linc.”
My heart lifts up and somersaults in my chest, a reaction that disturbs me greatly.
Fuck! I don’t like what those words do to me.
11
I’m sitting in a hospital room and I couldn’t feel more out of place. The room itself is lovely. It’s lavishly decorated with hardwood floors and ambient lighting. The furniture looks to be mahogany and even the windows have expensive treatments adorning them. It looks like a room at the Ritz...or so I would imagine. I suppose if you’re married to a New York Ranger, you get star treatment.
The chair that I’ve taken in the corner lets me observe everything, despite the awkwardness of the situation.
We are here to visit Danny Burnham, who just had her baby last night. Danny looks amazingly beautiful, especially given the fact that she went through several hours of hard labor. She’s watching her mother-in-law hold the baby, a dreamy look on her face.
The room is full of family and I am an outsider. Emily hasn’t talked to me yet but she gave me a hard glare when I walked in. Linc quickly introduced me to everyone and explained that I was doing a follow up piece to my original article. This statement was met by polite smiles but I can tell everyone is pissed at me for what I wrote.
I have no right to let it hurt my feelings. I deserve it.
Linc woke me up this morning at 6:00am and we went on a run. I had no problem making the five miles, although I am a little sore. It also probably has something to do with the fact that I tried to work out with Linc at the gym yesterday afternoon. But after an hour, I had to give up and watch him...counting reps as he told me I would do.
The man is a machine. I’ve never seen anyone push their body as hard as he does. I thought I’d be bored, just watching him workout, but I’d be lying if I said it was a chore. His body is unrealistically beautiful. He’s all tanned skin and hard muscle...chiseled perfection. Hell, even his sweat is sexy.
And his work ethic is beyond amazing. I’m starting to understand that there is no summer long vacation for NHL players. They work year round and have to make a lot of sacrifices, which causes my respect for him to increase a little.
I watch Linc talking with Congressman Burnham. He is naturally at ease, his hands casually tucked in his pockets. They’re talking about golf, a sport that I found Linc enjoys playing. He tells a golf joke—which I don’t get—and Mr. Burnham laughs with gusto. It’s a marvel to me that Linc is so poised at age twenty-four, but I guess when you are in the public eye, you learn how to handle yourself.
Admittedly, my feelings about Linc are conflicted. On the one hand, I have accepted the fact that I misjudged the situation that had occurred last Friday. He wasn’t the complete man-whore I thought him to be, but he’s by no means a monogamous angel either. I have not been able to get out of my head when he told me that he had f**ked that woman, and f**ked her hard. My sensibilities say I should be offended. Instead, I’m a little jealous and that bugs the crap out of me. The way he said that to me—his voice low and vibrating with promise—had me imagining the dirtiest of sexual scenarios.
On the other hand, I am still having a hard time reconciling that Linc is quite the playboy. He has every right to be but it grates on my nerves. I cannot help but wonder what would have happened had we gone out to dinner that night. If I had just said yes, rather than sensibly saying no.
I’m not stupid enough to even look at Linc as a potential love interest. My walls are still firmly in place and I don’t expect I’ll be letting them down again. Twice burned, and all that. But the young and sexually curious part of me is looking at Linc differently.
Yes, it bugs the crap out of me. And frustrates me. And confuses me.
Last night, after we ate dinner, Linc informed me that he had to go out for a bit. He didn’t invite me to go with him and I didn’t ask where he went. The fact that he didn’t invite me, particularly when he seems to want me with him at every other moment in the day, leads me to believe he was going out on a date. Which in my mind equates to sex.
And yes, that bugs the crap out of me, too.
I stand from my chair and Linc looks at me questioningly.
“I’m going to go talk to Emily,” I tell him and he just nods, turning his attention back to Congressman Burnham.
Emily had walked out of the room a bit ago, followed by Nix. I assume she’s still around as she didn’t bother with telling anyone goodbye.
It doesn’t take me long to find her. She and Nix are standing in the lobby, their arms wrapped around each other in a hug. Her face is buried in the crook of his neck and his chin is resting on top of her head. They look utterly content with one another, an emotion I am not in the slightest bit jealous over.
Nope! Committed relationships are for suckers and fools.
As I walk up to them, I know I’m intruding on something personal, but I need to take this opportunity to tell Emily that I’m sorry for what I did.
She sees me as I approach and pulls away from Nix. Her look is not welcoming but it is resigned to talking to me. Nix turns to see me and leans down to whisper something in her ear. He gives her a kiss on the temple, shoots me a wink and then leaves.
Emily crosses her arms over her chest and says, “How could you do that, Ever?”
“I know. It was awful. I’m awful. And I’m so sorry I did that.”
I’m taken aback when she practically hisses at me. “Sorry isn’t good enough. I trusted you with my family and you abused that. You of all people know what it’s like to have a friend abuse your trust.”