Oh right.
He and my best friend used to be in love.
They were each other’s firsts.
Reality hits me.
Now it’s my turn to stiffen as he rolls on top of me. “Hey, look at me.”
I didn’t even realise I had my eyes closed. They hesitantly flutter open and connect with Saxon’s deep brown ones. “You knew Lexi and I had a past, you can’t close up every time it’s mentioned.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I grumble.
“Tee—”
“Lexi is my best friend so it’s really weird for me to wrap my head around it,” I try to explain. I also don’t like to share, no matter how much I love Lexi. She had Saxon first, and everyone knows it. He also wanted her back something fierce. I get it’s all in the past, but it still happened. I’m not an insecure girl, but I am a possessive one.
I don’t share.
Except in this case it seems like I already have.
Fuck my life.
What is it about him that makes me break all my rules?
When they say love isn’t proud, that’s unfortunately the damn truth.
“I can’t change the past,” he tells me, a gentle look on his face. “You can’t hold it against me.”
Is that what I was doing? I hadn’t even said anything.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to,” he replies, sighing. “I don’t want to scare you off, but I’ve never been this crazy about a woman in my life.”
I look at him but stay silent.
“I’m crazy about you, Tee. Everything about you. The way you look at life, the way you embrace it. Your strength, your beauty, your kindness. Every damn thing about you.”
I get what he’s trying to tell me. But how can I mean that much to him? We haven’t even slept together yet. It’s not exactly realistic. Yet at the same time, we can’t seem to stay away from each other.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he continues. “I watched you from afar, I tried to talk to you when the opportunity arose. Even when you turned me down it didn’t deter me. Nothing could. So I may have a past with Lexi, but that’s all it is. A past. You have a past too and don’t think I don’t want to stalk down every other man you’ve been with and beat the shit out of them for touching what’s mine—because I do.”
“It’s not the same,” I say softly.
“It is to me. To me Lexi is just an ex.”
I take his hand in mine but divert my gaze back to the TV.
I’m just going to live in the now.
I’ll let future Tenielle worry about anything else.
Chapter Twelve
Saxon
I show up at Tee’s apartment every night I’m able to for the next three weeks. I usually bring something with me—those damn jam donuts she loves so much or something or the other. We hang out, go for a movie, or out for dinner. Normal couple stuff, but we haven’t spoken about us actually being a couple. She’s slowly becoming comfortable with me and more affectionate. A few more times she’s tried to get us to have sex, but I make her come instead, trying to hold off.
When I finally do get inside her, I want her to know she’s mine.
I already know it.
She just needs to catch up.
“If you don’t f**k me tonight I’m finding someone else who will,” she threatens, and not for the first time. We’re at my house, and she’s standing there in my shirt with her hands on her hips and death in her eyes.
I inwardly smile.
Fiery, my woman is.
However, I call her bluff.
I know I’ve gotten under her skin—just as she’s gotten under mine. I just don’t know if she knows it yet, or if she’s still in denial.
I’m going with the latter.
I sit down on my couch and pull her on top of my lap. “You think I don’t want to? You’re not the only one going crazy here. I just need to make sure you want something with me. Something more than just sex.”
“Do you want your name tattooed on my forehead first?” she grumbles, grinding her teeth together.
Yep. Definitely pissed.
I shut her up with a kiss.
“Is that a yes,” she asks against my lips.
“Are you mine?” I ask her, my c**k straining against her.
She mumbles something.
“What?” I ask.
“I belong to myself,” she grits out, shooting a glare my way.
If looks could kill.
She has such a need to be independent, to be in control of herself.
“I know that,” I reply in a calm tone. “I just need you to admit that there’s something going on between us.”
“Of course there f**king is!” she snaps, throwing her hands in the air. “We see each other every chance we can, I’m not with anyone else, and you sure as hell better not be with anyone else!”
I try to hide my grin. “You think I’m gonna put this much effort into trying to get you, then f**k someone else behind your back? This isn’t a game, Tee.”
“It sure feels like one,” she says, looking away from me.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I tell her, gripping her chin in my hand and making her look at me. “I love you. I want you. And if you don’t want the same, I don’t know what the f**k I’m gonna do with myself.”
Her eyes flare at my admission.
“I don’t want you to change, I love you just the way you are,” I tell her. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re smart, sexy, and passionate. Also a little weird and quirky.”