“I was already working there when I met you…”
“Not that. Tell me why you weren’t honest with me,” he says, his tone flat.
“I didn’t want you to look at me how you’re looking at me right now,” I tell him honestly.
He scoffs, and looks away. “I just beat the shit out of my best friend for disrespecting you, when he was right all along.”
It hurts. It burns. I want to tell him I love him, so f**king much, but I’m not that selfish. I stand, my hands shaking, cast him one last longing look, and then I walk out the door. I can hear things breaking as I stand out front, wondering how the hell I’m going to get home. I start to walk. It’s not that far, maybe a forty-five minute walk. I could call Anaya to come and get me, but I figure a walk would do me good. It gives me time to be alone, to deal with the consequences of my actions and feel sorry for myself.
Just like I deserve.
*****
I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. When I hear a banging at the door, I get up to go answer it. Looking through the peephole, I see Grayson’s angry face. What the hell? I unlock the door and open it, watching as he gives me a once over, as if checking if I’m okay.
“What the f**k, Paris?” he growls, walking into the house. I close and lock the door, and then follow him into the living area.
“What?” I ask, my voice weak. I just want to go to bed.
“I rang you a million times! How did you get home? I was worried,” he says, sitting down and looking tired.
“I walked home,” I say, leaning back against the wall and shrugging.
“You walked home,” he repeats, saying each word slowly.
“Yes,” I say, dragging out the word.
“What the f**k is wrong with you?” he snaps, standing up and starting to pace.
“Oh, so what, now that you know I’m a stripper it’s okay to talk to me like that?” I ask, gritting my teeth.
“What?” he asks, looking at me as if he hasn’t seen me before. “Do you not know me at all?”
I have no idea what to say, so I stay silent. He doesn’t.
“I was worried. I didn’t want you to walk home alone; it isn’t safe. A few minutes after you left, it hit me; you don’t have your car, and I drove around looking for you,” he says, running his hands through his hair in agitation.
“My phone was on silent. I didn’t even check it,” I say, looking down at my hands. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to worry you.” To be honest, I didn’t think he would be worried about me ever again. I guess I underestimated what a nice guy he is. Or maybe he just feels sorry for me? Great. Grayson curses and walks over to me, standing close but not touching.
“Such beauty…” he says, lifting my chin up with his fingers. “Such a shame it was shared with everyone.”
What? I ignore the pain in my chest and the tears threatening to surface.
“Get out,” I say. My voice is calm and collected.
“Paris…”
“I have a huge debt. It’s not even my debt, but I need to pay it nonetheless. But for you, I quit stripping, not even caring how I was going to pay it off. Putting my sister in danger. I only have one night left, and then I’m done.” I pause and take a deep breath. “I know I was wrong to lie to you about it, and it’s probably unforgiveable, but I don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. Please leave,” I say, my voice cracking. I drop my gaze.
“You could have come to me,” he says, his voice small. I risk a glance at him. He’s not looking at me; he’s standing there lost in thought. “I have more money than I know what to do with. And my woman is f**king stripping to pay shit off? Fuck,” he says, turning his back to me. He threads his hands behind his neck, looking down. “Do you think so little of me?” he asks, shaking his head.
I gape. “This has nothing to do with you! The world doesn’t revolve around you, Grayson! I stripped before I met you, and I continued to strip after. These problems are mine, and I’m going to solve them. Alone.”
He scoffs. “Well, you’ve made sure of that, haven’t you?” With that parting shot, he finally leaves.
And then I fall to the floor, finally letting go and breaking down.
Chapter Sixteen
I apply my fake lashes, wait for them to dry, and then stand up. The white lace material of my dress gets caught on my ring.
“Shit,” I mutter, trying to pull the ring out without ripping the dress.
“Let me help you,” Diamond says, crouching and untangling it for me.
“Thanks,” I say, looking down at my leather thigh high boots.
“How do you feel?” she asks, standing up and putting her arms on my shoulders.
I smile. “I feel good. I’m going to miss you though,” I say.
She grins. “I’m going to miss you too. But, Paris...”
“Yeah?”
“I hope I don’t see you here again,” she says, winking at me.
I laugh. “Me too.”
I wait until Treasure comes off the stage, and then I walk on. I’m greeted by cheers, mainly by the regulars. This is the last time I will ever be doing something like this. Unless it’s in the privacy of my own home for my man, but that’s a completely different story. I work the pole to “xo” by Beyoncé, before the song turns more upbeat, and I face the crowd. When I see him sitting there, his jaw set in steel, I freeze. Our eyes connect, and for a moment, it feels like we’re the only people in the room. His expression is blank, but I don’t miss the tight line of his lips and his clenching fists. He hates this. So why is he here? Why did he want to torture the both of us? He knows tonight is my last night; there is no reason for him to see this part of my life because I’m leaving it behind. I turn my face from him and lean back onto the pole. I lift my dress up and over my head, shimmying sexily as I do so. I stand there in a white lace bra, panties, and my boots. I don’t want to look at him. I really don’t, but my eyes dart in his direction of their own accord. His face is now down, hidden in shadows, but he looks tense. His posture is rigid and unforgiving, and I see him stare at one of the men catcalling the loudest. I gulp, spinning around so the men get a nice view of my ass. Tonight was meant to be the easiest performance, my final; instead, it’s the worst one I’ve ever had to do. Grayson is cutting me open by being here tonight, making me bleed all over the stage in front of him. I wish I knew what was going on in that head of his right now.