“What kind of plans does Kelly have?” Pete asks, his brow arching. “Something more important than family dinner?”
“Paul says she’s seeing someone. It’s getting serious.” Logan heaves a sigh.
“Ouch,” Pete says. When one brother hurts, they all hurt.
“Maybe they’ll figure it out,” Reagan says tentatively.
Pete hugs her to him and drops a kiss on her lips when she turns her face up to him. “I love you,” he says softly.
It makes me melt to see Pete like this. If anyone deserves a happily ever after, it’s him. And her.
Reagan smiles.
We hang out long enough for the waitress to bring two more pieces of pie, which the boys devour while Reagan and I sip our root beers.
Honestly, the smell of pie is making me a little nauseated. I push the plate toward Logan. He narrows his gaze at me. “You’re not hungry?” he asks.
I shake my head. Reagan smiles at me. Does she know? She couldn’t. I’m not even sure yet. But I have a pretty good idea.
Logan finishes his pie and leans over to kiss me. “I guess I better go unload the groceries. You coming?”
I shake my head. I need to run to the drug store and get something. And I kind of want to talk to Reagan. “I’ll see you later. I still have some shopping to do.”
“Okay,” he says, and he kisses me again, lingering over my lips until Pete starts coughing into his fist. “Shut up,” Logan grumbles.
“Take Pete with you,” I say when Pete just sits there with his arm around Reagan.
Logan narrows his eyes. “Why?”
I motion from Reagan to me and back. “Girl time,” I sing.
He looks confused, almost like he wants to sit back down.
“Go,” I say, shooing him with my hands. “I want to talk about girl stuff.”
“What kind of girl stuff?” Logan asks. He’s concerned, and I love that about him. But I really need for him to leave.
“So, Reagan,” I say. “I tried out that new brand of tampons you told me about. And do you know what happened?”
She laughs out loud at the same time Pete crams his fingers in his ears and sings, “Lalalalalalalalalala.”
Logan shoves Pete’s shoulder. “Let’s go unload groceries.”
Pete kisses Reagan and smacks Logan in the back of the head, and then he runs away, taunting so Logan will chase him. They do this crap all the time and, if they weren’t mine, I would probably find it annoying as hell. But they are mine, so it’s cute.
When they’re gone, Reagan looks at me. “Have you told him yet?”
I play with my straw. “Told him what?” I mutter. I avoid her eyes, because I think she sees too much.
“When my mom was pregnant with Link, all her favorite foods made her want to throw up.” She makes an imaginary heave, and my stomach churns at just the sound of it. I have woken up nauseated every day this week.
“Don’t make that sound,” I warn and burp into my fist.
She holds up her hands like she’s surrendering. But then she sobers. “How do you think Logan will feel about it if you’re pregnant?”
Logan would be ecstatic. It’s me who has the problem with it. “He’d be okay,” I say, my voice small.
She reaches out and covers my hand with hers. “Why are you worried?” she asks.
Tears fill my eyes and I blink them back. “What if our baby ends up like me?” I ask quietly. “I’m terrified of that happening.”
I know Pete has told Reagan about my dyslexia, but she and I have never really discussed it. “Your disability doesn’t define you. It’s just a part of you, like your eye color or your hair color. It’s part of you, just like my brother’s autism is a part of him. You’re a person first. And I know that you’re worried, but if you think about it, I know a lot of people who would be devastated if anything happened to you. Your life has value and meaning, and it’s not despite your disability. It’s because you exist.”
Goodness. I’ve never heard anyone say it like that before. What a powerful tirade she just made. “Thanks,” I say quietly.
“Have you taken a test yet?” she asks, and she grins.
I shake my head. “I was too afraid.”
She squeezes my hand again. “Let’s go and get one.”
I shake my head.
“If you’d rather do it with Logan,” she starts.
I nod. I’d rather do it with Logan. I need to tell him. Right away. But now I feel like I can. “Don’t tell Pete, okay? Not until after I tell Logan.”
She nods. “Can you tell him soon? I don’t like keeping secrets from Pete. Not even yours.” She smiles.
I can. I will. “Okay.” I smile, because I’m suddenly hopeful and the idea that there might be a life growing inside me that Logan and I created together takes root.
Logan
Something is up with Emily. She hasn’t told me what it is, but something is definitely wrong. I’ll figure it out. I know I will.
I pop the trunk on Emily’s car and take the groceries up to Paul’s apartment. Four flights of stairs carrying a turkey and a ham and all the rest is kind of brutal. I’m glad Pete’s with me. But after that, I wish he wasn’t.
We unload all the groceries, and since Sam is here, he organizes everything according to the way he’ll use it. He and Pete fight, shoving one another around until I get so sick of it that I can’t stand it. I turn to Paul. Can I talk to you for a minute, privately? I sign.