I finally settle on honesty. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You said you were. At the dress store.”
“I know. I’m still not sure about some things though.”
“I like her. You should have brought her to our Christmas.”
Gwen’s cheek is imprinted with the texture of the carpet where she’d fallen asleep, and I run a hand over the reddened skin. “You go to sleep,” I tell her. “And be good for Mom.”
She nods, and falls back asleep with an easiness that I envy.
I sigh, turning on the lamp by her bed that she prefers to keep on, and then leave the door cracked just enough so that Mom can see inside.
I’d been doing my best not to think about Kalli today. One, because the way I feel about her after just a few encounters can’t be healthy. I keep telling myself that I don’t know anything about her, and yet my mind always counters with images of her smile or the way she talks to Gwen or the mischievous and almost hopeful look she’d had right before she turned my own showerhead on me.
Maybe I don’t know her. But I wasn’t lying when I told her that I wanted to. There’s only one other thing I’ve ever wanted this bad, and I gave it up for Mom and Gwen. So even though she ran from me, even though she’s been skittish and distant, I’m still going to go for it. You don’t get a shot at a girl like that every day. Hell, I doubted that most people ever got one. There’s just something about her. I can’t put my finger on it. She puts me at ease, like the way you feel around an old friend, as if there’s no need to pretend, no need to worry about how you’re coming off. And yet at the same time, I’m anything but calm around her. She’s too gorgeous. Too perfect for it not to mess with my nerves.
As such, I’m restless when I re-enter the living room.
“You want some hot chocolate?” Mom asks. “I was thinking of making some.”
I hesitate. I’d like to head over to Lennox’s party now, but I don’t know how I feel about leaving Mom alone. Maybe I should stay a little while longer. Until she’s ready to go to sleep. I’m just about to say this when she continues, “Unless you’ve got other plans. With the boys?”
I smile. Ellis Rook and I have been friends since elementary school. We met Owen in high school. He was two years above us, and took us under his wing. We’re all well past grown now. Hell, Rook is a full foot taller than Mom at 6’4”. But she still calls them the boys as if we’re little kids playing video games in the back room.
“Nah,” I tell her. “Owen went on a ski trip, and Rook’s family is in Missouri for the holidays.” It’s an unspoken thought between us that this time last year I probably would have joined Owen, but now every spare penny I have goes to Mom or school. “There’s, uh, this party I was thinking about going to.”
Her lips remain in a smile, but I can see the corners twitch down just for a second.
“Not that kind of party. It’s for some people who weren’t able to go home to see family for the holidays.” God. She’s going to think I’d rather be with the people who can’t see their family, than to actually spend time with my own. “But that’s whatever. I think I’ll stay and hang out with you for a little while.”
“No.” She crosses and pats at my arm. “You go. See your friends. I’ll probably conk out soon.”
“Then I’ll stay until you’re ready to go to bed.”
“Wilder Bell.” I squint down at her, unsure why she’s using the same tone normally reserved for when I cause problems. “You don’t need to babysit me. You’re twenty-three years old. You should get to live your own life. Go to your party.”
I frown, and she pushes at my shoulder, turning me toward the door.
“Go. I’m going to take a bubble bath and relax anyway.”
I hesitate. “You’re sure?”
“Of course, I am. Now, get out of here.”
I grab my leather jacket from where I draped it over the back of the recliner, and shrug it on.
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Still don’t need babysitting,” Mom replies.
I smile and plant a quick kiss on her forehead. “All right. Point taken.”
I grab my keys, and when I’m almost out the door, Mom calls for me again. I look back, and she’s at the entrance to the hallway that leads back to her bedroom.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you again. For everything.”
“Right back at you.”
Lennox lives in an apartment just off the highway. It’s not the nicest neighborhood, and I’m a little shocked that she lives here. I hope she doesn’t live here alone, and that Kalli doesn’t visit often. The whole idea of her in this place makes me uneasy.
She lives on the top floor of a three-story building that has definitely seen better days. The stairs creak loudly, and the paint is so chipped that it’s hard to tell what color the building is supposed to be. When I reach her door, I can hear the rumble of noise inside, and I take a deep breath.
There’s every possibility that Kalli won’t be happy seeing me here. I promise myself that this is it. I’ll chase after her tonight, but if she doesn’t give me some indication that she’s as into this as I am, I’ll let it be.
Not too long ago I was on the receiving end of an unwanted pursuit by Bridget. Or hell, maybe it’s not fair to say unwanted. We dated for six months after all. And we were friends long before that.