This was it. This was the moment to say good-bye and send Finn off. From the beach, with my toes in the water, standing next to the only other person in the world who knew and loved him as much as I did. I stepped a few paces farther into the cool water, sinking into the soft sand below it, and when I was far enough I thought he could make it past the ripples, I lowered the lantern to the ocean and gave it a gentle push.
Rusty stepped up beside me then and put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him without thinking about it. Neither one of us said anything. We just stood there together with our feet in the ocean, watching the lantern drift slowly toward the setting sun, its tiny flickering light barely visible. And we stayed there like that until we couldn’t see it anymore, but I knew it was on its way across the ocean to the horizon, where the sun dripped gold into the water and peace lit the sky up pink.
Rusty can’t come with me any farther. We stand off to the side of the security screening area as passengers whisk by with their wheeled suitcases and file into line to be inspected. He doesn’t pay any attention to them—just stands there looking at me in a way that makes me wanna forget my plane ticket and get back in the Pala with him. But I know that’s not supposed to be, so instead I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck and tuck my head close.
“I’m gonna miss you,” I say. And I think I might cry, so I bury my face farther into the space between his neck and his shoulder.
He brings a hand to my neck, gives it a squeeze beneath my hair. “Yeah.” He sighs. “You really are.”
It’s enough to make me laugh, and I push away from him, no longer at the edge of tearing up. “Well I’m glad you’re gonna be all right.”
He smiles and looks down at the shiny floor before bringing his eyes back up to mine. “I’m gonna miss you too, H. I am.” A woman’s voice calls out flight numbers above us and says something I can’t make out above the bustle of the airport. Rusty clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You better get going,” he says. “Just in case she’s talking about yours.”
“Yeah. I should . . .” Kiss you one last time? Tell you to come with me? Drive home with you? “I should go,” I say, and I hitch my purse up on my shoulder like I’m gonna walk away, but I stay right where I am. “So . . . drive careful and . . .” I give him another quick hug, then a kiss on his scruffy cheek. “And I love you.” There’s a second of quiet, and I can tell he doesn’t know what to say, so I don’t wait for him to answer. I turn on my heel and head toward the end of the security line, feeling him watch me as I go, and hoping he knows I meant it. When I finally do turn around, it’s just in time to see his silhouette making its way through the crowd, back out to the road and school and football, where he’s supposed to be. And maybe . . . maybe one day back to me.
The line in front of me is crowded with people holding their tickets and IDs in one hand and taking off their shoes and belts with the other. Suddenly nervous, I take a cue and open my purse to dig out my wallet. The line inches forward faster than I thought it would, and of course now I can’t seem to slide my license out from behind the plastic cover. I wiggle it and pull at the same time, and it finally slides free, along with everything else, all over the floor.
“Oh geez, I’m sorry,” I say to the guy behind me. “Go ahead.” I stoop to pick up the contents of my wallet, and two more people step over me like I’m not even there.
“Here, I think this is yours.” A manicured hand reaches down to me, holding a picture I didn’t even remember I had.
“Thank you,” I say, taking it without looking up. I smile at the image in my hands: me, Finn, and Rusty all leaning on the Pala, against a backdrop of bright blue Texas sky. Gina took it the day the boys brought it home, all proud and full of themselves and their plans for the car, and I’d talked my way into the picture, sure I belonged next to it just as much as they did.
“They’re cute,” the same voice from behind me says. “They your friends? Boyfriends?”
I stand up, trying to tuck everything back in my purse. “No,” I say as I turn. “The one in the cowboy hat’s my brother, and the other one’s . . .”
The girl who belongs to the voice smiles from beneath the brim of her baseball cap, waiting for me to finish, but I don’t. I can’t. I’ve completely forgotten what I was going to say because I’d know that smile and those sparkly blue eyes anywhere.
“Your brother, huh?” Kyra Kelley raises a perfectly arched eyebrow. “I’ve always had a thing for cowboys.” She smiles. “That whole gentlemanly thing, you know?”
I nod but don’t say anything. Kyra Kelley is standing behind me in line at the airport. Talking to me.
“Big difference from the LA boys, that’s for sure. I’m finished with them, if you know what I mean.” She pauses and looks at me—really looks at me, then winks. “But your cute cowboy brother . . . he looks like he might be one you should tell me about. If you’ve got the time, of course.”
And I do. Oh, how I do.