He had his hands in his pockets, and he smiled, looking expectant. Or hesitant.
I pulled out my shop cloth and wiped the few smudges from my hands. Fallon and Juliet had stopped talking, Pasha had gotten up to go explore my garage, and Ben and I had an ocean between us.
It wasn’t easy like it had been two days ago.
I looked to my friends, trying to look calm. “Just a minute, you guys,” I told them, and I didn’t miss the glance they exchanged.
I inched past Ben, giving us some space beyond their ears.
Standing close, it was hard to meet his eyes, but I did. “Ben, I’m really sorry about the past couple of days,” I spoke softly. “I know things have been awkward.”
My gut twisted, and I didn’t want to hurt him. I almost wished he was a jerk so this could be easier.
“I know.” He nodded, looking around before meeting my eyes. “But I think I know why.”
His eyes flashed to Jax’s house, and I followed his gaze, seeing Jared with his back to us, but leaning his hands on the hood and peering over his shoulder, watching.
“He doesn’t pull my strings,” I explained. “Medical school is looming, and with the house going up for sale, everything is just—”
“So he’s not the reason I haven’t slept over?” Ben interrupted. “Or barely gotten you alone in two days?”
He wasn’t mad. His raised eyebrows and gentle tone told me he already knew the answers. It wasn’t that Ben expected sex, but he knew it was the next step between us. I’d been warm, and now I’d gone cold.
I frowned, wishing he wasn’t right.
I knew I still wanted Jared. The chemistry hadn’t changed, and no matter what we failed at, we were great in the bedroom.
But there was still love there, too. More than ever, actually. I didn’t know if I wanted him back, and I wasn’t ready to make that decision yet, but I knew I didn’t want Ben with the same passion.
And he didn’t deserve anything less.
He gave me a sad smile and leaned in. “I’m glad you gave me a shot.” He kissed my cheek. “Good luck at Stanford.”
And he turned around, walking back to his car.
I watched him go, feeling a little regretful. He’d made it too easy for me. But no matter what happened, it was the right thing to do.
I turned around, refusing to meet Jared’s eyes, because I knew he was still watching, and I headed back for my car. Pasha still stood in the garage, looking after Ben’s ride as he sped off down the street, while Juliet and Fallon had continued their conversation.
“Well.” Fallon rubbed her neck, acting like they hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop. “I’m determined to make the most of this time with just the two of us, but you know Madoc . . .” She trailed off, sounding amused. “The more the merrier. He wants five. I said one. We compromised at five.”
Juliet busted up laughing, and I realized they were still talking about Madoc’s plans to knock up his wife ASAP. Fallon still had two years of graduate school at Northwestern, though, so I knew she’d rather wait.
“Is this your mom?” Pasha called out.
I looked up to see her leaning over a workbench, regarding a frame on the wall. I knew the picture that hung there. My mom, dad, and me at Disneyland when I was five.
“Yeah,” I answered, fastening the last cap under my hood.
“How did she pass away?” she asked.
I shot my eyes over to her, confused. “How did you know my mom died?”
Her mouth fell open slightly, and she hesitated.
“Um . . . I,” she stammered, her eyebrows doing a nosedive as she searched for words. “Well, I . . .”
And then she huffed out a breath, looking at me with an apology in her eyes.
“He kind of has me send flowers to her grave every year on April fourteenth,” she admitted, wincing.
I stood frozen, my hand on the cap while I gaped at Pasha. “What?” I whispered, in too much shock.
“Tate.” Juliet’s mouth hung open, and I saw her eyes tear up.
I darted my eyes over to Jared, seeing him let the hood drop closed and smile at his brother, a joke passing between them.
“Please don’t tell him I told you,” Pasha grumbled. “He’ll bitch, and then I’ll have to listen to it.”
Flowers. He sent my mother flowers.
How had I not known that?
I guess I still would’ve been at college every April, but my father should’ve known. Wouldn’t he have told me?
“What are they doing?” Fallon spoke up, and I looked to see her confused expression focusing over at the guys all slipping on their shirts and hopping in the Mustang with Jared in the driver’s seat.
“Jax?” Juliet called, standing up.
He stuck his top half out the passenger side window, looking at her over the hood. “We’re just taking the car for a test drive!” he shouted over the deep rumble of the engine. “Be right back!”
Jared slipped on his black sunglasses and gripped the wheel, the tight cords of his forearm visible from here. He shot me a quick glance, the hint of a smile on his lips, before jacking up the music and backing out of the driveway.
And, as if the thunder had only been waiting for the lightning, he roared down the street like a tempest that could not be contained.
My heart fluttered, wanting to be a part of the storm.
I smiled at my friends. “Get in the car.”
“What?” Juliet’s back straightened, and Fallon started rubbing her hands together.