"Whatever," she says softly as she hangs her head and looks to the floor. "I guess it doesn't really matter." That's all she says before turning to walk outside.
"What are you doing here?" Jase says when I walk into his apartment.
"Just thought I would stop by. You busy?"
"No," he says as he scans my face. "What's wrong?"
Upset from seeing Kimber downstairs, I let out a sigh and fall onto his couch.
"Was Kimber just over here?" I ask him when he sits down next to me.
"I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to upset you."
Looking over at him, I say, "I'm not upset."
He cocks his head and says, "Sweetie, I can tell when you're trying not to cry. You get all squeaky."
Taking a deep breath and puffing it out, he continues. "She texted me a few days ago wanting to know where you were. When I called her, she was upset. I felt bad, Candace. She was my friend too, and I have felt real shitty about how I've treated her."
I wipe the tears from my cheeks as I listen to him talk, and I feel like a horrible person for causing all of this.
"She asked if she could come over and talk. Candace, she's really upset. She misses you."
Trying to stop the tears, I begin hiccupping back my breaths. Jase scoots over and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
"Do you think you could talk to her now? Be honest with her?"
"I can't. Her boyfriend is in the same fraternity as Jack."
"What? How do you know that?" he asks as he looks at me with surprise.
"I saw the Greek letters on his car one day."
"Did you say anything to Kimber?"
"No, why would I?"
"Are they friends?"
"I don't know. I never brought it up because I didn't want to draw any attention to him."
Jase leans his head back on the couch, and I feel envious that he can still be friends with her.
"I'm not upset. I understand that she's your friend. I'm sorry I ever put you in that position."
"Sweetie," he says as he rolls his head to the side to look at me. "I love you. Even though I haven't been a good friend to her, I would have done that to anyone for you."
I smile at his words. There isn't any way I could ever express exactly how much they mean to me. Jase has always been so selfless with me, and I try to give back to him what he gives to me.
"So, what did she say?" I ask.
"She just talked about you. How hurt she is. How much she misses you. She wanted to know what's going on in your life. I told her about Ryan and that you're really happy with him."
As I nod my head, he adds, "If you won't talk to her, then I think you should at least start spending some time back at your place."
"Yeah...okay."
I sit back on the couch next to him and rest my head against his shoulder. After a few minutes pass, Jase switches topics and asks me about the gallery show at Thinkspace on Friday night. Ryan's photograph will be on display and up for sale. Jase and Mark are going along with some of Ryan's friends as well. I haven't told Jase that the photo is of me. I don't want anyone to know, and Ryan doesn't either.
"So what time should Mark and I be there?"
"It starts at eight, so anytime around then."
"Sounds great. And when are you guys heading out to Oregon?"
"We're going to leave the next morning. I'm not sure when we'll be coming back. Ryan wanted to leave it open. He's taken the week off, so we will just play it by ear."
"Mark and I will be around, so when you get back, let us know."
"I will." Sitting up on the couch, I turn to look at Jase and say, "Hey, you wanna go down to Peet's and grab a coffee? We can walk around some of the shops."
"Yeah, let's get out of here. Give me a second to throw on another shirt."
We spend the next couple of hours shopping around the vintage stores on Fremont after stopping by Peet's. While we roam around, I think about what Jase said. I know I need to talk to Ryan and let him know that I should go back home. I never intended on staying at his place for as long as I have. We just kind of fell into it. I love him, and I love being there, but I have my own place and a friend that I sort of abandoned, even though we aren't really talking and haven't been for months. I can't tell her about Jack. After telling Ryan, I don't ever want to go through that again. Plus, I'm not even sure of Seth's connection with Jack. It scares me to think what Kimber would do, being that she is, in a way, linked to him. I don't know what I can do to salvage my relationship with Kimber, but I do know I should at least try.
I've been gone most of the day, so when I return to the loft, Ryan is more than eager to have me back. We spend the rest of the day being lazy and listening to demos from bands that are trying to get spots at Blur. I know I need to talk about going back home, but I know Ryan isn't going to like that idea very much. I've spent most of the evening putting it off.
Ryan pulls me out of my thoughts when he says, "Something's been bothering me today." When I walk across the room to Ryan, who's sitting on the couch, he holds out his arm and tugs me down onto his lap. "I've never seen you dance."
"Oh...yeah, I guess not. But you will in May when we have our production. You'll see me a lot. I have three ensembles plus my solo."