We walk over to a group of people and Jack introduces me. There are a couple girls that I have seen around campus, and we are able to strike up a light conversation. I'm not sure how much time has passed, but my head is starting to hurt from all the loud music. The girls suggest we go hang out outside. I let Jack know, and I leave him there with his buddies while I head outside with the two girls. We find a few chairs and sit down. They are carrying on a conversation while I rest my head back and close my eyes. I am somehow able to drown out the noise and focus on the light breeze that's sweeping across my face.
"You tired?"
I open my eyes to Jack's voice, and he is kneeling down in front of me with his hands on my knees. I look at him and nod my head. He stands up, takes my hand, and starts walking me back into the house. When he takes me upstairs, he leads me into a dark room with a couple full-sized beds.
"What are we doing in here?" I ask him and he moves to sit down on one of the beds.
"I figure we could just hang out and relax away from all the noise. Is that all right?"
I walk over to him and sit down. "Yeah," I say, and then I turn to look at him. "I'm sorry I'm being a drag. I've just had a long day."
"It's fine, Candace," he says as he lies back on the bed.
I shift and lie down next to him and close my eyes. My head is starting to throb with an oncoming headache. We just lie there in silence, and the peace feels really nice. Jack brushes his hand over my cheek, and my eyes flutter open. Leaning over me, he looks in my eyes, and I can smell an obscene amount of liquor on his breath.
"Jack," I whisper as he leans down and presses his lips against mine. I know this is wrong, and he has clearly had too much to drink, but I find myself getting caught up in the moment. I run my hand up the back of his neck and start kissing him in return. He rolls on top of me, and the weight of him presses me into the bed. Our kisses turn frantic, and my breath quickly becomes labored. He runs his hand across my stomach, hooks it into the waistband of my pants, and gently tugs down. I feel my stomach knot up, and I push away.
"I'm sorry," I say, closing my eyes tightly. "I shouldn't be doing this."
"What the f**k, Candace," he spits out, and when I open my eyes, I see the irritated look on his face. "What's the problem? It's like one minute you're all over me, and the next, you're pushing me away. You pulled this same act the other night."
I push back against his chest, but he doesn't move. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused. I don't want to lead you on, but—"
He crashes his mouth against mine and starts kissing me again. What the hell is he doing? I push against his shoulders, but I'm only pushing myself deeper into the bed. I feel his hand run up my inner thigh and between my legs. I gasp for air, but I feel like I can't get enough into my lungs. I jerk my head back and forth and manage to roll onto my side. The weight is gone. Taking a deep breath, I look at Jack who is sitting on his knees in the middle of the bed.
"What the f**k is wrong with you?" I shout as I stand up on my shaky legs.
Laughing at me, he says, "You can stop with the good-girl act, Candace." He says my name like it's dripping in disdain. He climbs off of the bed and starts walking towards me. "I just can't figure you out, and it's starting to frustrate me. I like you, but I get the feeling like you're playing me."
"I'm not. I'm just...I don't know. I just don't think this is going to go anywhere," I say as I stare at the floor.
Jack tightly grips my shoulders with both of his hands, pushing me backwards. I stumble a little when we hit the wall. My body turns cold, and I feel the skin on my neck prickling. I'm getting nervous, and my heartbeat quickens. What is he doing? Is he pissed? Shit, I just want to leave. I just want to go home and pretend this night never happened. It's been weird from the start, and it's only getting worse.
"Oh, no? And why's that? You must think it's funny to lead me on. Is this how you get your kicks?" He is inches from me when he speaks, his breath hot on my face.
My shoulders are trembling under his hands, and I feel the lump in my throat growing bigger, which is making it hard for me to breathe.
"I'm not jerking you around, I swear. Listen, I'm not good at this stuff. It's not you." My voice is shaky, and I hate that.
He pushes his body up against me and buries his face in my neck. I gasp for air and let out a whimper. I don't want to cry, but my emotions are all over the place right now. He thrusts his hips against mine, and that is my undoing. Tears flow down my cheeks, and I'm pushing my hands against his chest, but he won't budge.
"Jack, stop! What are you doing?" I am freaking out as he completely smothers me. Fisting my hands, I start smashing them into his chest, trying to get him off of me. I can barely see through my tears, and I wind up punching his lip. He takes a step back and wipes his mouth. It's bleeding. He looks up at me with a murderous glare, and I know he's about to lose it. I bolt for the door and run.
My heart is pounding against my ribs, and I struggle to breathe as I run down the stairs. Bumping shoulders with people in the crowded living room and stumbling over my shaky feet, I find the door that leads out to where Jack's car is.
I notice I don't have my wristlet purse that has my cell phone in it. There is no way I'm going back inside though. I quickly decide to just walk home and deal with the purse situation later. It won't take long for me to get home if I cut through behind a few buildings. I walk fast and try to grasp what just happened, but I can't clear my head enough to focus. My heart is starting to slow, and the tears return. I am overwhelmed, and I think it is so much more than what just happened with Jack. Confusion doesn't even begin to describe my current state of mind.