I wake up from my nap, and even though I took a shower when I got home after dance class, I decide to hop in for another. The bathroom fills with steam, and I open the glass door to the shower. I try to calm my nerves as I focus on the water beating against my back, but I don't think anything will take away these butterflies in my stomach. I give up on the shower and step out. I wrap a towel around me and see Jase fiddling around on my computer when I walk into my bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I ask while I walk over to my dresser and open the top drawer.
Staring at the screen, he says, "Nothing really, just messing around. I just finished my last class and thought I'd come chill with you."
I pull on my underwear and start to slip on my bra when he turns to look at me.
"You going somewhere?" he asks.
"Yeah, there's a party at Jack's fraternity tonight, and he asked me to go."
Jase leans back in the chair and sarcastically says, "You sound thrilled."
Grabbing my hair dryer, I look back at him. "It's just...I'm not into him aside from kissing. We have nothing in common, and I feel nothing towards him."
Jase grins at me.
"This should not be a surprise to you, Jase," I say.
"Nope, no surprise at all. Typical Candace, devoid of all things emotional. Well, except for me." He gives me a big smile then turns back around to the computer, and I flick on the hair dryer.
I see the lights of Jack's car pierce through the large windows in the living room. I grab my purse and yell at Kimber from across the house. "Jack is here. I'll see you later."
"Bye, sweetie, and good luck," she hollers back.
By the time I open the front door, Jack is already walking up to the house.
"Hey," he says, reaching out his hand for me to take.
Holding hands while walking to his car feels weird to me. I know it probably shouldn't since the last time I saw him I had my legs spread across his lap, but I guess it was the fact that I knew I was going to end things tonight. I feel like I'm being deceitful by holding his hand.
He opens my door and I slide into the car. When Jack gets in, he leans over to give me a kiss. I make sure to keep the kiss short. The silence is a little awkward as we drive to his fraternity house. I stare out the window and watch the streetlights pass.
"Is everything okay?" he asks.
I turn my head to look at him and say, "Uh huh. I'm just a little tired, that's all. I had three classes today plus my studio." With my head lazily leaning against the headrest, I continue to stare at Jack. I think about Jase's words back at the house: Typical Candace, devoid of all things emotional. Do I purposely avoid relationships or is it simply because I just haven't met the right person yet? Maybe I should try and give Jack a chance. Maybe that's it. I never see a guy long enough to give him a chance. Maybe if I gave him time, I might wind up really liking him.
I snap out of my thoughts when I feel Jack's hand run up my thigh. He cocks his head to the side and gives me a little smirk. I smile in return.
"You're beautiful when you smile," he says and then returns his gaze to the road ahead.
I don't say anything. I simply sit there with my head resting on the seat.
I can already hear the music as we pull up to the house. Jack pulls around to a small parking lot behind the house. We get out of the car, and the muffled music and voices become clearer the closer we get. Jack opens the door and there are throngs of people everywhere. It's a two-story house and the stairs are covered with students who already seem to be drunk. Everyone is shouting over the loud music to make themselves heard. Jack's warm hand grabs mine, and he gives it a squeeze as he leads me back to the kitchen where he is greeted by a bunch guys that are slapping him on the back and grabbing his hand the way guys do. He doesn't introduce me, which is fine; I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable. I look around and watch a group of girls that are sitting at a table playing some sort of drinking game with a few guys. The rest of the room is filled with people talking and laughing loudly. Everyone is drinking and having a good time.
"Want a beer?" Jack asks.
"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks." Jack walks away to fetch our drinks, and I'm left alone. I lean back against the center island and continue to watch the drunken girls as they giggle and act stupid. Looking at them, I'm starting to feel underdressed. Most of the girls here are wearing little skirts and dresses with nice heels. I feel a little awkward in my black retro Vans tank top, worn tattered jeans, and a pair of black Chucks. I tried dressing it up a little by adding a fitted red and black flannel that I left unbuttoned, with a vintage gold necklace. But these girls look like they have a particular goal in mind for the night.
Jack returns with our drinks, and I take a long, slow drink. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he moves to stand in front of me. When he leans in and kisses me below my ear, I quickly move my head back.
"What's wrong with you tonight?" he snaps with his eyebrows knitted together.
I try and lessen the tension as I smile and say, "Nothing, I'm just a little uncomfortable, that's all."
Jack sets his beer down and places each hand on the countertop on both sides of me, locking me in. "Relax," he says in a soft voice.
But I can't. He backs away, takes my free hand, and walks us out to the main room where people are dancing and hanging out.
"I'll introduce you to a few people," he shouts over at me.