Taking her leg in my hand, I kiss my way back up, giving her soft sucks behind her knee before I lower myself down on her. I want to feel every part of her, but she has always been so skittish with some of my touches. Needing the closeness in the moment, I break our silence and whisper, “I want to touch you.”
I see the reluctance when she looks at me, and I reach my hand back to hold her knee as I say, “Let me touch you.”
I catch her faint nod and take my time as I let my hand fall along the inside of her thigh, but as soon as I reach the edge of her panties, she clamps my wrist with her hand and jerks her hips away from me. I want to show her that it isn’t disgusting and that she doesn’t have to be scared of my touch, so I move my hand back to her knee as I rest my body on top of her. With my forehead against hers, I take her lips with mine. Her hand rests on my cheek while she keeps her other locked around my wrist, not letting go. I stay close to her when I move my hand back down her leg, and this time, she doesn’t startle.
Her breathing is shaky when I touch her and cup her in my hand, holding still as her legs are clutched to my sides. My lips continue to move with hers as I take in the warmth of her before I gently run my hand up the edge of her panties then tuck my fingers under the lace of the fabric and run them back down.
She lets out a whimper as I feel her smooth skin under my fingers.
“Just relax, baby,” I breathe as I drop my head to her shoulder.
Keeping my wrist clutched in her hold, I bring my hand to the top of her underwear and then slip it under the fabric, moving the back of my fingers down the seam of her. I know this is hard for her, but I also know that no one has ever touched her like this, without hate and force, so I keep my touches soft as she gives me this. After a little time, her body begins to respond to me, and I feel her relax as she grows hot in my hand. Her forehead becomes damp when I sink my fingers inside of her, breaths heady, and bodies on fire as we move in this new way together.
We spend a good amount of time like this before we make love in the darkness of the room. The only noises are the ones that are products of the pleasure we give each other and eventually the moans that come from us losing ourselves completely to the other.
Chapter Thirty-eight
“You okay?” I ask while I drive us to the tattoo parlor. She’s fidgety and a bit vacant. Placing my hand over hers, I question, “Were you this nervous when you did this the last time?”
“No . . . well, kinda. I dunno. It was different then.”
“You don’t have to do this today. We can always call Jared and reschedule.”
She shakes her head and then looks over at me. “No, it’s fine. I’m sure I’d be just as nervous if it were any other day. Let’s just get it done.”
I hold her clammy hand for the rest of the short drive. When we arrive and walk in, Jared is the only one here. He came in early so that it would only be the three of us.
“You look like you’re about to puke,” he teases her and laughs. “You’ve been through this before. No big deal, right?”
“Right,” she responds with a nervous smile as we follow him back through the shop and into his booth.
Candace takes a seat on top of the black table, and I stand next to her, still holding her hand.
“So, what are you thinking about doing?” he asks her.
“Umm . . .”
Jared squeezes her knee, and soothes, “Relax.”
She looks over at me, and then looks back, telling him, “Can we just fill it in?”
“That’s it? Damn, girl, by the way you’re acting I thought you were gonna tell me to wrap a skull around it or some shit,” he jokes, and it’s just what she needs as she laughs with him.
Jared gets everything set up, and when he slips on his black latex gloves, he instructs her to lie back and shift her pants down.
“So, no more empty heart,” he mumbles as he slips the paper cloth under the edge of her pants, and she laces her fingers with mine as I stand over her.
“No more empty heart,” she repeats as she looks up at me.
We talked about what she was going to do with the tattoo the other day when she told me that she wanted to keep it small. She said that she wanted to simply fill it in, and I was worried that it wouldn’t be enough of a change for her. But she assured me that it would be, and I know it holds a new significance for her. I’m glad she sees her heart in this way now—full—no longer empty.
Once the gun starts buzzing, Candace squeezes her eyes shut, and it takes less than a minute for him to be done. Jared and I both laugh when she opens them back up.
“You guys are evil,” she tells us as she sits up after Jared applies a small bandage over the area.
“Let me know when you’re ready for that skull,” he says with smirk.
Candace hops off the table and says with joking aside, “Thank you.”
He smiles at her, saying, “Anytime,” followed by a wink. “This one’s on the house, so I expect a few hook-ups with those scones.”
Returning his smile, she tells him, “Of course. See you later.”
“Later, guys.”
Walking outside, the mist still fills the air. When I open the door and help her up into her seat, I ask, “Happy?”
“Happy,” she confirms with a kiss to my lips.
I hope now every time she sees that tattoo, she is no longer taken back to that night.
Three weeks have passed and Candace has been tied up at the studio almost daily, preparing for the production in May. She has the lead in all of the ensembles she’s dancing in, plus a duet and her solo.